Cake Eater Chronicles

Hey, 2007...

...don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out, eh?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Because I Can

Caption Contest

I totally agree. Babies are good eatin'. Particularly when slathered in BBQ sauce. Mmmmm. Tasty.

Have at it, my devoted Cake Eater readers.

Dude!

Holy Crap! Doug's back!

And it's a good thing, too, because way back in July, he linked to my baldie picture---and then had the gall not to post anything for six months, meaning that I was still getting hits from that damn post until a few days ago, when it, mercifully, was pushed down the page.

Despite this egregious error, I'm nonetheless glad to have him back at the keyboard. If for no other reason than I can give him loads of shit about Nebraska's faltering football program.

Heh.

Poor, Naive Spidey

A bit of advice to our favorite web slinger from moi. Ahem. Feel free to use the UN building when you pull your Tarzan routine, but for the love of God, don't actually enter the freakin' place.

{...}In a move reminiscent of storylines developed during the second world war, the UN is joining forces with Marvel Comics, publishers of Spider-Man and the Incredible Hulk, to create a comic book showing the international body working with superheroes to solve bloody conflicts and rid the world of disease.

The comic, initially to be distributed free to 1m US school children, will be set in a war-torn fictional country and feature superheroes such as Spider-Man working with UN agencies such as Unicef and the "blue hats" - UN peacekeepers.

Camilla Schippa, chief of office at the UN Office for Partnerships, told the Financial Times the script was being written now and the final storyline was due to be approved in February. The illustrators are working for free. After publication in the US, the UN hopes to translate the comics into French and other languages and distribute them elsewhere, Ms Schippa said. The idea came from French film-maker Romuald Sciora, who had been working on other UN projects and is making a DVD about the international organisation that will be distributed to schoolchildren along with the comic books.{...}

Spidey, Spidey, Spidey. Whatever are we to do with you? Poor, naive sap. Mary Jane's behind this one, isn't she? You can fess up. We'll understand.

Whilst I'm sure Mary Jane's heart is in the right place, she's wrong about this one. She fed you some line of bull over cold, leftover pizza, about how the UN, really and truly, is the only international governmental organization that can truly help those in need around the world, didn't she? Well, my web-slinging friend, don't you see that she's taking you for a ride? Mary Jane, while a very nice girl, I will admit, is also an actress. Of course she's going to have a very liberal worldview, wherein the UN is good and wonderful and the mean, old US is withholding their funds and talking trash about the work they do. MJ would understand that it's all about PR. Where better to reap the benefits of good PR than with those who have very little power to distinguish between the facts of the situation---i.e. that the UN is the most corrupt of corrupt organizations and most Americans have formed a bad opinion of them for precisely that reason---and the lure of a free comic book? Yes, Spidey, we're talking about the children; they are first front engaged in any propaganda war because they have a limited sense of the world, and the motivations of the people within it. They're easy targets, Spidey. Go to your history books and check out where Goebbels and Stalin made their biggest strides---and you'll see it was with the children of their respective countries. You're being used, Spidey, in a propaganda war to bring children over to the dark, insidious side of institutional corruption. While I would agree that institutional corruption isn't exactly on the same level as anti-semitic fascism and communism, the toll it exacts, however, can be just as hefty as either of those ideologies.

I fully realize you're a physics geek, who's got bigger problems to deal with in his daily life that don't revolve around widespread corruption at the UN, but, really, you need to wise up.

Fun with Photoshop

Hey, you Romney for Minnesota bastards: don't say I didn't warn you.

I've decided that while Mitt does have some fabulous hair, he needs to switch it up.

And I'm just the girl for the job.

Here's Mitt with Don King's hair. Kinda suits him, for some strange reason.

Who's hair should we appropriate for Mitt next, kids? Any ideas? I'm thinking Zsa Zsa Gabor, but I'm not sure.

Benazir Bhutto, RIP

Benazir Bhutto, the first woman to be prime minister of an Islamic country, was murdered in cold blood today by a suicide bomber in Rawalpindi. The NYT has a decent, covers-the-bases obituary here. Whilst, you can find the details of her murder here. Via Gateway Pundit, we have a claim of responsibility coming from Al-Qaeda, but I'm not quite so sure it's to be trusted.

A spokesperson for the al-Qaeda terrorist network has claimed responsibility for the death on Thursday of former Pakistani prime minister Benazir Bhutto.

“We terminated the most precious American asset which vowed to defeat [the] mujahadeen,” Al-Qaeda’s commander and main spokesperson Mustafa Abu Al-Yazid told Adnkronos International (AKI) in a phone call from an unknown location, speaking in faltering English. Al-Yazid is the main al-Qaeda commander in Afghanistan.{...}

Whether that's actually true or not, I don't know, but suicide bombing is definitely Al-Qaeda's m.o., so I wouldn't be surprised if they're responsible. As much as Bhutto complained about the security Musharraf's administration offered---and the resulting conspiracy theories that abound regarding the attack on her procession back in October---I highly doubt he had anything to do with it.

Neither do I have any clue about what her assassination means for the future of Pakistan. I'm not going to pretend to, either, because, in all honesty, Pakistani politics is always a crapshoot, and I'm of the general opinion that anyone who claims to be the soothsayer of the moment in regards to Pakistani politics is full of it. They don't know what will happen. They can only guess. And they'll most likely be wrong when it all shakes out.

The only commentary I'm going to offer in regards to Bhutto's heinous assassination is that I find it curious that while it's been much heralded that she was the most powerful woman in Pakistani politics, and in Islamic politics in general, it hasn't been mentioned at all that, perhaps, her gender might have had something to do with why she was murdered. There hasn't been one ounce of speculation that I can see in any of the articles I scanned on Google News, that the fact that she was a woman put her at greater risk from Islamic nutjobs. Why, even in the Al-Qaeda claim of responsibility, the only reasoning the Al-Qaeda commander offered was that she was an ally of the United States and had promised to help defeat terrorism.

I don't know whether this is a MSM whitewash job, to avoid the reality of the situation, as they do so spectacularly most of the time, or if, really and truly, her gender had nothing to do with it. That she was simply murdered for who she was, what she represented and what she stood for. If that's the case, well, isn't it rather extraordinary that Islamic nutjobs---who feel they have to be protected from women, lest they be tempted toward sin, and subsequently subjugate them every day of the week, and twice on Fridays, all over the globe---inadvertently achieved a measure of Western-style gender equality and murdered Bhutto simply for her politics. They didn't murder her because she was with a man to whom she was not related. They didn't murder her because she had the gall to get behind the wheel of a car and drive herself where she needed to go. They didn't stone her because they believed she was an adulteress. They murdered her for her politics.

It doesn't make her murder any less heinous. But what's not being said is rather significant: that Bhutto was their equal and she deserved to be murdered the same way as any man with whom they disagreed.

That, at least, is something in a culture where she easily could have been murdered for not covering her hair.

Really, There Is Such a Thing as Bad PR

Clueless

Who better to disparage than lawyers? They're known for talking fast, driving expensive cars and making sure they take as much of our hard-earned money as possible - when we're at our most vulnerable.

Some lawyers are willing to face up to their bad rep. The attorneys at Parsinen Kaplan Rosberg & Gotlieb of Minneapolis have turned it on its head, creating a magazine-style public relations piece called "(Not Just Another) Despicable Lawyer."

Designed for some 5,000 clients and friends of the firm, the magazine contains stories about the good works its lawyers have done, the interesting trips they've taken or the hobbies they enjoy outside the office. It also lists gift ideas that benefit others, like Heifer Project International, which provides animals for families in poor countries.

"I think this piece has really captured the essence of the culture of the firm," said Mary Kay Ziniewicz, the firm's business development director, who came up with the idea.

"Our clients see a side of their attorney that they didn't know before, and so it really opens up conversations," she said. {...}

So, what we have here is yet another waste of paper in the name of "community relations," to put it kindly. It's fluff pr, but it's fluff pr, with style, and a sense of humor about itself. Whilst I will give them credit for the tack they took, they still manage to screw it up, however.

{...}In one of the magazine's more personal pieces, managing partner Howard Rubin talks about his personal crisis of confidence and a simultaneous struggle with his mother's Alzheimer's disease.

"I dwelled on life's problems and what they were doing to us, rather than focusing on what I could be doing," he wrote.

He realized that he wanted to help others and loved to throw great parties. Rubin ended up serving on the board of the Alzheimer's Association, chairing its annual gala.

The energy he gained from that work also spilled over to his law practice. He began to see that his contributions were valuable, and he decided the firm "needn't be dull and laborious - we could have unforgettable parties!"{...}

{my emphasis}

Yay! Unforgettable parties! Who wouldn't want to go to an unforgettable law firm party? We, apparently, can all find higher purpose in this life simply by having an unforgettable (!) party! It's, like, in the Bible or something.

The pressing question I would like answered, however, is if the firm's clients who received this piece o' work were somehow charged for it----and the postage the firm used to send it out.

Your Quote of the Day

So, in a bit of precisely plotted populist electioneering, the Serbian parliament was set to pass a resolution today, "{...}implicitly rejecting membership of the European Union and NATO if the West recognizes the independence of Kosovo." President Boris Tadic is up for re-election in January, and, apparently, he's ready to forgo the carrots for the stick. Probably because it'll play well during his re-election campaign, when the prizes double during the rhetoric round.

Prime Minister Vojislav Kostunica had this to say in regards to said resolution:

{...}"Kosovo is big enough for Serbs and Albanians," the prime minister added. But "the main problem is that the United States is preventing the Albanians from compromising."{...}

{my emphasis}

Gee, if only those pesky Americans would get the hell out of the way, of course bees would buzz, birds would fly, dogs and cats and Albanians and Serbs would live together in peaceful harmony. If only the US administration would evacuate to Hawaii for the month of January and take up surfing as an admirable past-time, the Albanians would see reason and peace would break out all over, like a particularly virulent case of the crabs.

Yep. It's all our fault. Really and truly. The Serbian Prime Minister said so.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

We've gotten some snow here in Cake Eater land over the past couple of days.

Starting on Friday night, we received some sort of precipitation that resembled a slurpee. That froze solid on Saturday afternoon, when the temperature dropped quite quickly after another inch of the white fluffy stuff covered it over. On Sunday, we received about four inches when the tail end of the blizzard that hit Wisconsin rather badly sideswiped us. Yesterday, we received another few inches, and this morning, it's snowing lightly and is supposed to stop in the next hour or so. Reportedly, on Friday we're to get another one to three inches.

The only reason I mention this precipitation pattern is to note that I'm really sick and tired of the snow plow drivers only showing up for overtime hours. As in, the plows are all over the roads late at night, but if you need them to be running at any time during the day, well, that's a crapshoot. The Cake Eater pad resides on a fairly busy road, which is managed by Hennepin County. Across the street, in the Province of Minneapolis, the streets, per usual, have barely been cleaned off at all. Our back alley is taken care of by the Cake Eater City crews, and they've been on the ball---and I've got no issues with them. (They even plow the sidewalk in front of my house, because the plows dump their stuff there and they wisely realize that no mere mortal snowblower could work its way through that crap.) But it appears as if the Hennepin County and City of Minneapolis crews would prefer to make sure they're making as much money per hour of snowplow driving as possible, whilst the roads become completely unmanageable in the meantime. This is not to say I haven't seen crews from my perch, here in the Cake Eater pad, during the day, but they are far and few between during that time period, whereas during the evening, they're all over the place. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize what's going on here. Mr. H. reports a similar situation within Ramsey county, where he lives.

I suspect, if the snow keeps up in this fashion, the county and Minneapolis will be announcing sometime in early February, if not sooner, that they've run entirely out of money for snow removal and will come begging to the state for assistance. Of course, when they go a-begging to the legislature, I'm certain they will not mention that their drivers only seem to show up for work when they're getting paid double for their services.

Happy Holidays!

Well, here we are again, my devoted Cake Eater readers. Another year has passed, and in time-honored holiday fashion, I'm going to post everyone's favorite photo of me...

...if for no other reason than my hair was longer in this photo than it is now. Perhaps if I have enough spiked egg nog tonight, I'll let the husband take a photo of me and I'll post it for comparison purposes. But only if I have enough spiked egg nog. We'll just have to see how things on that front progress.

My hair aside, I realized earlier this month that I really didn't need any Christmas presents because I'd received a pretty big present this year, in the form of my survival from ovarian cancer. Whenever anyone asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I honestly couldn't come up with anything to tell them. And while my reply frustrated the Cake Eater Mom, I'm fine with it. I want for nothing. I've got my life, and my health, and that's all that really matters. While my survival required some rather large sacrifices, we're coming to terms with the situation. We're not healed yet, but, just like everything else, I have faith that we'll get there. Someday. That's enough for now.

I have so many blessings in my life. I have my fabulous family, who really stepped up this year to keep me buoyed up during my incarceration in the hospital and at home, afterwards, and during my treatments. We've had illness and adversity in our family before. We're no different than any other family in that regard. Yet, as the first of our immediate family to be diagnosed with cancer---a disease that has done a number already on our extended family---I know I scared the shit out of them. I'm so sorry I scared them. I couldn't really help it, but I'm sorry nonetheless. Instead of running away, like some of my real-world friends did, however, they all stepped up and did what they could to help, even if that was just sending the occasional e-mail telling me that they were thinking of me. That's no small thing. I'm thankful for them. I am also thankful for my in-laws who, despite having their own massive battles to fight this year, took the time, of which they didn't have much, to help out in their own way.

I also have my fantastic friends. My real-life friends, like Mr. H. and ML and the Doctor, just to name a few, have been there with incredible amounts of support, Louis Vuitton scarves, friendship, and much-needed laughter. They're incredible people and I'm truly blessed to have them in my life. I also have my online friends, people like Chrissy, who sent marvelous pick-me-up presents and emails, but who also made and shipped a SHITLOAD of gooey cakes to help out with my nephew James' JDRF fundraising efforts and never got a proper 'thank you' note from moi for her efforts, but who, somehow, doesn't think bad manners are a reason for cutting off friendship. For that I'm REALLY grateful, because she's truly an extraordinary person and I'm grateful for her presence in my life. I'm also grateful for the Llamas for their friendship. Steve-o kept up with the usual harassment, which made it feel much like things were still the same, and for Robbo in particular (and who just sent me the sweetest Christmas note, which completely made me blubber.) for plenty of things, but mostly for making me laugh like nothing else had in a long while with his "chemo pr0n" comment when I posted this picture. A certain "Just Me," with whom most of us are familiar, has also been a rock, and who graciously allowed me to make something useful out of all the knowledge I gained from my hysterectomy. Surprisingly, despite the fact I'm full of shit, she even took some of my advice and, in the process, made me feel useful for the first time in a long time.Phoenix, Cal Tech Girl, Eric, Zonker, Mitch , RP, and SO many others that I'm undoubtedly forgetting to mention, have also been just fantastic. But, last but not least, I cannot forget my devoted Cake Eater readers from Winterset, Russ and his wife, the Lovely Janis, who sent not only many, many emails of friendship and support, but who also sent a sleeve of cups from Kelly's, which I've been meaning to blog about, but haven't quite gotten around to doing yet. The internet truly does make the world a small place, but it makes my world so much bigger and richer because of the people I've been fortunate to meet through it.

And, finally, I have my incredible husband, who has been such a gift this year, that I really cannot express how grateful I am for him. I married a good man. I've written before that he's a wonder, and that I'm grateful for the knowledge of him, but really, kids, he's gone so far beyond and above the call of duty this year, that, well, I get all weepy thinking about him and all he's done for me for no other reason than that he loves me. I feel humbled and undeserving of his love and devotion. I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

And now, because I have other things I have to do this Christmas Eve Day, I will wrap this post up with a golden oldie recommendation for tonight. I wrote this little bit way back in 2003, during my very first Cake Eater Christmas, and I've always been particularly proud of it, unlike most of my writing. I always struggle to get things right, and usually after I post something, I think of a million ways I could have gotten something across better. This is one of the few instances where I think I got it just right the first time around:

Make the time tonight, between glasses of wine and obnoxious relatives, to go outside. Enjoy the peace and quiet, albeit temporary. Enjoy the cold for a few minutes. Breathe deeply and, for a brief moment, enjoy the icicles forming in your lungs. Shiver copiously. And then look up at the night sky, and if Rudolph's honker isn't too distracting, gaze at the stars.

Then, think of a young couple who on this night, roughly two thousand years ago, gave everything over to their faith and a God who demanded difficult things of them to fulfill His will. Know that they submitted without hesitation. Think of the gift they gave us this night and know that they gazed at the same stars you're looking at.

And know that the world is a wondrous place.

Merry Christmas, my devoted Cake Eater readers.

UPDATE: I'm also incredibly thankful for YouTube.

And Linus.

Winterset is Now Famous in a Way That Has Nothing to do With "The Bridges of Madison County"

Interesting piece in this weekend's FT, detailing a visit to Winterset, Iowa, home of devoted Cake Eater readers, Russ and The Lovely Janis, and their freezer, which I'm assured is chock-a-block full of venison.

Anyone wondering why Hillary Clinton has a battle on her hands in Iowa should visit the picturesque town of Winterset. The mid-western state, which holds the first critical nominating caucus 10 days from Saturday, is one of the few in the US never to have elected a woman to the House of Representatives, the Senate or, even, to its governorship.

Located amid the ice-covered corn and soyabean fields of central Iowa, Winterset is the birthplace of John Wayne, hero of countless westerns and lifelong friend of Ronald Reagan, president from 1981-1989. “You should visit Winterset,” said a senior figure in one of the Democratic campaigns. “It is like stepping into a 1950s movie set.”

Although John Wayne was born a century ago and his family left town when he was just three, the gruff, plain-spoken leading man of classics such as True Grit, Stagecoach and Fort Apache would find remarkably little had changed. People leave their doors unlocked in Winterset, and their cars running when they pop into the post office.

“Iowa is a socially conservative state,” says Jerry Scheertfeger, former mayor of Winterset, in an interview at the soda fountain in the Montross Pharmacy opposite the clock tower in the town square. “We are proud of John Wayne. He was always on the side of good, he always won and he never used bad words.”{...}

Go read the whole thing. I find it refreshing that the reporter focused on The Duke, Winterset's other claim to fame, rather than that lame-ass book. (In case you're wondering how Winterset and "The Bridges of Madison County" are connected, well, Winterset is the county seat for Madison County. Pretty little courthouse on the square, too.) However, I think, perhaps, the reporter had some preconceived notions about how "religious" people were in that neck of the woods and went out of his way to quote people who supported his notions. I also suspect that Russ will be disappointed that there was not one mention of Fred in the article.

I've Got a Bad Feeling About This

So, my devoted Cake Eater readers, I haven't talked about my hair in a while, so I should probably remedy that, eh?

I actually have some right now, which is good. I enjoy the fact that I have hair now. It beats baldness...with a short, pointy stick, and it beats it easily, with little to no effort extended. Particularly since it's gotten cold outside and my head chills easily. Even though my hair is currently shorter than most of the dos you see on the average dude, I'm really beyond caring at this point in time. It's going to be ugly for a very long time and I've accepted that fact. Plus, I'm saving money on shampoo and product, as I don't use very much. So, there's that bonus, too, right? I should be counting my blessings, right?

Well, I think something's happening in regards to the hair and I don't know that it's going to be a good thing.

When I went to chemo class at the oncologist's office, they gave me this handy dandy expandable file folder (generously provided by Amgen, raper and pillager of cancer patients and their insurance companies everywhere), chock-a-block loaded with valuable information for those of us unlucky enough to go through chemotherapy. In it was one sheet regarding hair loss.

I thus quoteth from the sheet:

{...}Prior to hair loss, you may experience various sensations on your scalp such as tingling, itching or hurting. When you're able to pull out small tufts of hair, you will probably lose your hair within three days.

{...}It usually takes about six months for your hair to grow back to normal. As your hair begins to grow, it appears as "vellus hair." This soft, fluffy hair will last about two months. It gradually falls out and is replaced by more normal growing hair.

In about four months your hair may grow in curly. If your choose to have your hair colored, wait four months after your final treatment. The first time you have your hair colored, the color will not take very well, but the second time it should take normally.

It is best to wait six months after your last treatment to perm your hair. The recommended type of Perm is ISO Partin.

I did the math. The fuzz started coming in about a month after my last taxol treatment in July, so we'd be talking mid-August, for those of you keeping score at home. For about a week or two, it was simply comprised of white fuzz, that you couldn't see very well. Then the brown stuff started growing in, and by the last part of October, I felt comfortable enough with the coverage to go out of the house without my head wrapped up in a scarf. People stopped staring about this point in time, which was good, too. Right now, it's filled in nicely, and is sticking up in odd places, to the point where, if you catch me at the right moment, (like right after I pull my hat off) I vaguely resemble Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade. The hair is very fine, but it's my natural color, and Thank God, there's no gray coming in.

However, it appears there's a catch. You see, given the above information, I fully expected this brown stuff that I have now to fall out in October. But it didn't. It stayed put and I somewhat forgot about the fact that it might fall out. I knew that the new, and most likely curlier, stuff would come in soon enough, but after October passed without any hair loss, I somewhat forgot about it. Until now.

You see, for the past week or so, I haven't had any body hair growth to speak of. It's been very light and shaving, which isn't my favorite activity to begin with, has pretty much been kaiboshed. I didn't think too much of it. There's still a lot going on with my body, even lo these many months since the last chemo IV. I just figured it was something else, and it was nothing to worry about. As long as it's not painful or very disturbing, my general policy is not to be bothered about it. But yesterday, my scalp started hurting again, like it did when I lost my hair back in the spring. The best explanation I can come up with for this tenderness is that it feels like you've had your hair in a pony tail for too long. I know that doesn't help those of my devoted Cake Eater readers who've never had hair long enough to put back in a pony tail, but I don't know how else to explain it. It's just sore and tingly. Which, I don't think bodes well. It feels just like it did back then. Given the sparse information on the "four month out" period, I don't know if this means I'll go bald again, and then the regular hair will grow back in, or if this just means it's growing back, and will gradually replace the hair I have now.

Sigh. And just in time for Christmas, too!

I tried to call Dr. Academic's super-duper-helpful-with-the-information-nurse about this yesterday, but it turns she's out on maternity leave. (Seriously, I didn't even know she was preggers until I saw her last month. The woman didn't show AT ALL until the very end.) I didn't want to deal with the B-Team, because they always hand off conflicting, and sometimes wrong, information, so I left it alone. I'm somewhat in the dark right now about just will happen, but this year has been shitty enough all the way around, so it wouldn't surprise me one little bit if all the hair fell out and I was bald for Christmas, and New Years---and in the middle of winter, when it's freakin' cold outside, too. That would just be my luck.

Gimme More!

So, the husband and I sat down to view Shoot 'Em Up this evening.

I will not outline the plot, because there was no plot. Well, a small one might have snuck in there, somewhere, but really, it didn't mean to, man. It was only trying to help. Really, it shouldn't have bothered. Because it just distracted from the action, and, Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the saints and angels, is there some action in this movie! It was stylized to a fare-thee-well, and clever in bits, but it was repetitive and so freakin' over the top, that you wondered what they could pull off next, because they couldn't go there, could they?

Yes, Junior, they could and they would.

At one point, I didn't think it could get any more over-the-top and I was thrilled with one development and I, quite literally, began screaming at the tee vee, "Gimme More! Gimme More!" And, God bless them, they obliged me. When the movie was finished, I was worn out, and breathless, like I'd just had spectacular, knocked-the-house-off-the-foundation sex and was having a hard time coming back down to earth. It was exhilarating in a completely mindless way...and it was fan-fucking-tastic.

Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti are to be kissed full-on the lips for making this movie. I'll slip Clive some tongue, but Paul...well, ok, I'll slip Paul, tongue, too. They deserve it, because between the two of them, they manage to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. No one else could have pulled this off. They did not take themselves seriously, because if they had, they would have ruined it. And they knew it.

Anyway, the upshot is that Shoot 'Em Up is bad. So, so bad. But it's bad in a very good way. For once, the movie is as advertised. It's a shoot 'em up movie. Nothing more, nothing less. For that alone, I want to thank someone profusely. But that the movie is grand in every, way shape and form, well, that makes it even better.

Highly recommended for a couple of hours of mindless, exciting fun.

Vaguely Reminds Me of Something

I wonder what it could be?

Oh, yeah. I've got it now.

"It all just depends on what your definition of 'is' is."

{ht: Ace}

Placing the Blame

A crying shame.

Outraged family and friends are blaming a medical insurer's heel-dragging for the premature death of a California teenager who died awaiting a liver transplant.

Nataline Sarkisyan, a 17-year-old from Glendale, Calif., died Thursday just a few hours after her insurer, Cigna Health Care, approved a procedure it had previously described as "too experimental" and that dozens of Sarkisyan's supporters protested at the Cigna's headquarters.

{...}The Sarkisyan family claims that Cigna first agreed to the liver transplant surgery and had secured a match weeks ago. After the teen, who was battling leukemia, received a bone marrow transplant from her brother, however, she suffered a lung infection, and the insurer backed away from what it felt had become too risky a procedure.

"They're the ones who caused this. They're the one that told us to go there, and they would pay for the transplant," Hilda Sarkisyan said.

Geri Jenkins of the California Nurses Association said the teen had insurance, and medical providers felt comfortable performing the medical procedure. In that situation, the the insurer should defer to medical experts, she said.

"They have insurance, and there's no reason that the doctors' judgment should be overrided by a bean counter sitting there in an insurance office," Jenkins said.

Doctors at the UCLA Medical Center actually signed a letter urging Cigna to review it's decision. Nataline Sarkisyan was sedated into a coma to stabilize her as the family filed appeals in the case.

During the middle of Thursday's protest, Hilda Sarkisyan fielded a call from Cigna alerting her that her daughter's procedure had been given the green light. Cigna released a statement announcing the company "decided to make an exception in this rare and unusual case and we will provide coverage should she proceed with the requested liver transplant."

The cheers, however, soon gave way to concern as the the hospital called to say that Nataline's health had taken a serious downturn. The family was forced to make the decision to take her off life support, and she later died. The battle to convince Cigna to support the medical procedure had taken too long.

The family said that it will now consider filing a lawsuit against Cigna -- after Nataline Sarkisyan is laid to rest. {...}

I hate stories like this. My sympathies go out to Nataline's family.

But, and there's a rather important "but" here, Nataline's parents would have you believe that Cigna is to blame for her death, rather than the lung infection that ultimately killed her. They're playing the if only game. If only Cigna hadn't denied coverage, she could have had the liver transplant, and all would be well. The big bad health insurer is to blame, once more, for another senseless. It's John Q all over again.

I don't think it's quite as clear cut as all that.

There's no guarantee that Nataline would have survived, even if she'd had the liver transplant. Transplants are risky things, and they don't always work. I'm no doctor, obviously, but it seems to me that if a young girl who was suffering from leukemia, had most likely been through some kind of chemotherapy treatment, and had already had a bone marrow transplant, would already have been somewhat immuno-compromised. Her age would have helped out some with this, though. It's a simple fact: younger people do better with cancer treatment. Yet, you have to add into the mix that she would have had to take immuno-suppresion drugs to keep her body from rejecting the transplant, and then it seems like her survival would have been a long shot. Her youth might not have helped out all that much in such a circumstance. Yet, again, I'm not a doctor, so take my analysis with a grain of salt. I'm just a former chemo patient who had a serious crash course in how the immune system works earlier this year. But the doctors were willing to do the transplant, despite the fact that she had a lung infection---that should suffice for the insurance company, right? I'm not sure. Insurance providers have to weigh the risks of paying for such procedures. As in, if Nataline had received the transplant, then had passed away, it's likely they would have faced liability for her death, then, too. It's a damned if you do, and damned if you don't situation.

The thing that bothers me about all this is why did Nataline's parents stage a protest at the insurance company, when it was most likely possible for them to accept payment liability for the transplant. Then their daughter could receive her much needed transplant, and then they could have hired a lawyer and fought it out with Cigna later. At least, by their reasoning, their daughter would now be be alive. Why is the blame laid automatically at Cigna's feet, when their daughter's health is their responsibility?

People forget that you can get health care without insurance. It happens every damn day of the week, in every hospital in this country. While I'm sure this would have been an exceptional case in terms of self-pay situations, it should have been presented as an option to the Sarkisyans. Why didn't the doctors at UCLA say, "Hey, let's do the transplant and then worry about who's paying for it later?" Why was it so important to the family that the procedure be covered by insurance? I can understand how scary it is to not have a financial safety net underneath you when you make large, expensive decisions like this. Believe me, I understand that. But that's no excuse for inaction in such a circumstance as this. I, too, have had approval for expensive procedures denied by my insurance company because of rules they have set in place, to prevent abuse of the system. But you can always fight that. And you can do it later, after the crisis has passed. Providers usually understand this. It takes a large leap of faith to do this, yes (and it usually requires a Visa card with a large limit on it, too, because they'll want at least a down payment up front.), but it's possible. The problem can be solved. Insurance companies are required by law to have appeals processes in place, so that you can always state your side of things. The procedure is listed out on the back of every single claim rejection---or even every damn letter---they send out. It's a pain, yes, but the process is there for a reason, so that insurance companies aren't later blamed for preferential treatment or, conversely, discrimination. Despite what the media and Hollywood would have you believe, insurance companies are not populated entirely by heartless bastards. While there are some glaring exceptions to that rule, for the most part, insurers do try to make sure that people get the coverage that they're paying for. The Sarkysians were obviously aware of the appeals process, too, because that's precisely what they were doing when their daughter took a turn for the worse. Furthermore, there are generally state and federal funds that could have been applied for to for assistance in paying for the transplant. Hospitals usually employ people whose sole job is to know how the system works, so that they can find the money to get paid and to keep the hospital running. Did the family not qualify for these programs? Do the programs not cover transplants? Did the hospital even inform the family of their options in this regard? There are many unanswered questions. And, from what I can see, no one's bothered asking them in their rush to tar and feather Cigna for their refusal. The questions loom large, but the main one I have is why didn't the family take the financial leap of faith that might have kept the daughter alive? Why did they think that their only option was to fight the insurance company?

Truly, it bothers me to raise these issues so soon after their daughter's death. But they're the ones who went crying to the media, so I guess that makes them fair game. I simply wish they'd seen that they had more options available to them than simply fighting the insurance company. While there's no guarantee that Nataline would still be alive today if her family had done things differently, perhaps, at least, she might have had a fighting chance.

Random Question(s) of the Day: The Holiday Shopping Edition

Why is it that store clerks think they have the right to get all uppity when you choose not to give them your personal information when you're checking out?

I had to purchase some Christmas presents this morning, and when I was checking out, the chick behind the counter started asking me all the same questions an alien would ask right before they probed you anally---you know, if an alien wanted to know what your phone number was, or your email address, mailing address, name of first born child, etc.. I politely said, 'no, thank you' to her inquiries, (even if I'm not sure that was the right reply) and then she proceeded to give me a long lecture about all the "good stuff" I would be missing out on, and if only I gave her my information I could be showered with coupons galore. My eyes narrowed and I said, "I only shop here once a year, if at all, so it's not going to bother me one little bit if I don't get your coupons."

She then proceeded to roll her eyes at me as she handed me my receipts. She didn't say, 'Thanks for your business, come again!" She didn't even wish me a "Happy holiday."

Look here, retailers of the world, if all you're going to offer me is COUPONS, I'm not going to give up my personal information, ya dig? It's MY information. Not yours. I know you think you have some right to it, but you don't. I've actually received FREE LEATHER GOODS for my information. Why on earth would I give up the goods for measly coupons? Are you insane? Furthermore, what is it with people who DO give up their information, thinking they have to? Ahem. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT. Your information is VALUABLE. Until the quid is worth the quo, don't give it up. Duh. For what said retailer will make in selling your information off, you should get something for the deal, and coupons, quite frankly, are not an equal trade. Wise up, eh?

Oh, and don't get me started about buying a "discount card" at Barnes and Noble. IT'S NOT A DISCOUNT IF YOU HAVE TO BUY IT, IS IT? Duh. I repeat, wise up, people and stop being suckered.

That's My Church: The Big Sigh Edition*

Sigh. Don't we, perhaps, have better things to do, o' pointy chapeaued ones?

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - The Vatican on Wednesday condemned the film "The Golden Compass," which some have called anti-Christian, saying it promotes a cold and hopeless world without God.

In a long editorial, the Vatican newspaper l'Osservatore Romano, also slammed Philip Pullman, the bestselling author of the book on which the family fantasy movie is based.

It was the Vatican's most stinging broadside against an author and a film since it roundly condemned "The Da Vinci Code" in 2005 and 2006.

"In Pullman's world, hope simply does not exist, because there is no salvation but only personal, individualistic capacity to control the situation and dominate events," the editorial said.

{...}The Vatican newspaper said "honest" viewers would find it "devoid of any particular emotion apart from a great chill."

{...}The Vatican newspaper said the film and Pullman's writings showed that "when man tries to eliminate God from his horizon, everything is reduced, made sad, cold and inhumane."

The U.S.-based Catholic League, a conservative group, has urged Christians not to see the movie, saying that its objective was "to bash Christianity and promote atheism" to children.

The Vatican newspaper called the movie "the most anti-Christmas film possible" and said that it was "consoling" that its first weekend ticket sales were a disappointing $26 million.{...}

I hadn't commented on this "Whole here we go again, it's another DaVinci Code" thingymabob, because the Vatican hadn't chimed in directly. But now that they have, well, it's time to revisit ground we've covered many, many times before.

Whilst sighing loudly.

First off, I don't take anything the Catholic League has to say seriously, because, to steal a line from Kathy Griffin, it appears the organization is one guy who has mad emailing/press release-issuing skillz. Second, I'm a little tired of the Vatican feeling threatened by works of fiction. Man up, for Heaven's sakes, because God only knows that there are plenty of men in the Vatican---there should be some spare testosterone floating around there somewhere. I fail to see why the Church would be so threatened by works of fiction that it felt the need to slam them into a wall, much like a wrestler would in a WWE pay-per-view extravaganza, and, furthermore, blatantly ask people to boycott them. It's a move that screams you have no faith in what you're preaching, and that you're afraid, somehow, sometime in the future, people will see that there's just a man behind the curtain and not the Great and Powerful Oz. Stop it. You're making asses out of yourselves. You're supposed to be above this sort of thing.

If someone's faith is so threatened by the mere thought of people going to see a movie based on a book with heavy atheist themes, then you don't really have much faith, do you? That it's the pointy chapeaued ones who apparently don't have much faith in people to view the movie, simply for entertainment's sake, and to not come out of the movie theater as a flaming atheist, ready to rush right over to Barnes and Noble to pick up Richard Dawkins' latest 'God is Dead, You Idiots' screed, is, well, disturbing.

Do I not have ANY readers in Vatican City? For Heaven's sake people, stop making fools out of yourselves!

*My apologies to Robbo for stealing his schtick.

Random Observation for Tuesday, December 18, 2007

And it's all because your mama don't dance and your daddy don't rock n' roll.

Fair Warning

Just in case you, my devoted Cake Eater readers, were looking for an online company to print out your Christmas cards, well, I would highly recommend going someplace other than Photoworks.

I'd never done the photo holiday cards before, and given my hair situation, I will admit that it's exceedingly strange that this would be the year to break that particular sound barrier, but as I had a nice photo of the husband and myself, I thought I'd give it a whirl. (Besides, sending out a picture, whilst simultaneously wishing everyone a "Happy and HEALTHY holiday season" sort of gets me out of writing a holiday letter, no?) The only problem with this photo was that it was taken at sunset, with the sun behind us, and the trick of using the flash to compensate for the overwhelming backlighting was not working for some strange reason. Well, never mind, because, verily, there is such a thing as Photoshop. I was able to tweak the photo in that particular program and it looked pretty good by the time I was finished with it. It was a little dark, but you could see us and that's what mattered. I put together the card at Photoworks, received a hefty discount at checkout, and all was well until the cards actually showed up at the Cake Eater pad. For whatever reason, Photoworks did not print the photo in my tweaked manner, but, of course, let their computer program autocorrect the photo---and they ruined the print in the process. You can barely see the husband or myself in the photo, but oh, boy can you really see the setting sun!

I'm still sending the cards out, and I can already hear the ribbing I'll take about them from my friends and family. But I'm not going to redo them. I already paid good money for Christmas cards, and, by golly, I'm going to use them.

However, I thought I'd pass along the warning for what it's worth. I'm not really happy, but I'm somewhat beyond caring at this point in time. A Christmas card is a Christmas card, right? Even if it's crappy. It's the thought that counts. Right?

Here's The Thing

Lately, there's been much ballyhooing about presidential grasper Mike Huckabee's statement about what he'd do about Iran, the upshot of which was, If I may be so bold as to summarize, that he wants to chat with them. There could be more to his position, and I'm sure there is and it's been shaped and molded by the best foreign policy wizard they could afford, much the way I now mold and shape my ever-growing hairdo with gel. But I don't really care. As far as the presidential election is concerned, well, call me when the conventions are over and there are actual candidates in place. Then I'll really start paying attention; right now, it's just a waste of my time to follow positions of people whose policy shaping ambitions will have been firebombed in three months time, ya dig? It's just too much work---and futile, boring, busy work at that.

Here's the thing, though. I may not pay too much attention to the primary/caucus process, but I do listen to what these boneheads (and they're all boneheads---no matter the party to which they've pledged their undying allegiance. It's a requirement when running for president.) have to say about foreign policy. Particularly when it comes to foreign policy regarding people we generally don't get along so well with, like say, Iran. That I do pay attention to. And left or right, there's one thing I'd like to hear from any presidential candidate when it comes to dealing with Iran. It wouldn't make life any easier on them, if by some chance of fate they were elected, but it sure would make me happy and much more ready to accept any sort of formal diplomatic overtures that might happen, should they be elected.

Are you on tenterhooks wondering what this statement could possibly be, my devoted Cake Eater readers? I hope so. I think I've done a good enough job building it up for you.

It's actually pretty simple. I would like these nimrods to say, hey, once Iran formally apologizes for taking over our embassy in 1979, in gross violation of the universally accepted diplomatic playbook, and holding our embassy workers hostage for four hundred and forty four days, whilst sometimes torturing them and scaring the shit out of them by staging fake executions, then we can talk. Until that point in time, forget about it.

I can understand the US has a long and varied history with modern day Iran. We've screwed up there. Big time. The US, on behalf of the UK, in 1953 sponsored a coup that led to some serious repression on the behalf of the dictator we propped up. It was petro-politics gone horribly wrong. This I understand. But this move was also part of the greater Cold War, and for that motive we have no need to apologize. If Iran had become an ally of the Soviets, the Cold War might have taken a turn for the worse. None of this, however, is an excuse for what Iran did to our embassy and our citizens. That they've never apologized for what happened; that they've never provided any sort of compensation for the financial loss of United States property (which is now a museum, dedicated to the glorious hostage taking), or for the pain and suffering our citizens suffered at the hands of their government, shows me that they have no honor. If they do, on the odd chance, want to have a chat with the US about, perhaps having sanctions for their enriched uranium whimsies removed, well, they need to establish some good will. Good will is crucial, otherwise we have no motive to believe a word they say. One way of doing that would be to apologize.

I'm not holding my breath, though. I doubt it will ever happen in my lifetime. But it would be awfully nice if one of these presidential-wannabe boneheads would actually consider that there are things for which other nations need to apologize to us---and this would be at the top of the list.

Creepy

The husband informed me this morning that the merry little elf Lileks has been using as a Christmas mascot this week is creeping him out.

Apparently, his family had one for quite some time and he always hated the way those devilishly happy elvish eyes stared out at him from the Christmas trees of his youth.

Erm.

Ok, you can go on with your lives now that I've shared that.

Royal Benevolence

There's nothing quite like it, eh?

RIYADH (AFP) - King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia pardoned a teenage girl sentenced to six months in jail and 200 lashes after being gang raped in a decision swiftly welcomed by Washington on Monday.

There was no immediate official announcement of the king's decision to overturn the sentence against the 19-year-old girl which had drawn criticism of the ultra-conservative Muslim kingdom from key ally President George W. Bush.

The king's decision was instead reported by the Riyadh daily Al-Jazirah but, like the rest of the Saudi press, the newspaper faithfully reflects the official line on all sensitive issues.

{...}The girl, who was 18 at the time she was raped, was attacked at knifepoint by seven men after she was found in a car with a male companion who was not a relative, in breach of strict Saudi law.

{...}In October 2006, a judge sentenced her to 90 lashes for being with the man -- a taboo in the conservative Muslim kingdom which imposes segregation of the sexes.

She appealed against the sentence but despite her ordeal the court ruled that her punishment should be increased to 200 lashes and a six-month jail term.

The judges decided to punish the girl further for "her attempt to aggravate and influence the judiciary through the media," a court source told the English-language daily Arab News.

The rapists were initially sentenced to one to five years in jail, but those terms were also toughened in November to between two and nine years.

A rape conviction carries the death penalty in Saudi Arabia, but the court did not impose it due to the "lack of witnesses" and the "absence of confessions," the justice ministry said last month.

The court also revoked the licence of the girl's lawyer, who has been summoned by the justice ministry to appear before a disciplinary panel.

{...}A Saudi official, who declined to be named, told AFP on Monday that he was unhappy with the "ridiculous" furore over the court ruling that had damaged the kingdom's image both at home and abroad.{...}

So, get gang raped in Saudi Arabia; be charged with 90 lashes for being with a man who is not your relative; have that sentence increased to 200 hundred lashes and six months in prison for protesting; then be pardoned by the benevolent, all-knowing Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques---who, it appears doesn't care so very much about if the law itself is moral in that it hardly protects the victim, but rather because he's tired of taking shit over your case from international do-gooders.

Nice, huh?

Easter Egg

The husband and I were watching "The Simpsons Movie" and, whilst we were waiting for the movie to load up, the usual threats of death, dismemberment and a ten years in the pokey, and a bajillion dollar fine for illegally downloading the movie raised their head for their two seconds of airtime. We weren't paying too much attention, but one warning passed by very quickly...and it wasn't regarding downloading. It was regarding the EPA, and since it passed by so quickly and we couldn't read it fast enough, we jumped the gun and assumed that the government had gotten pissed off, and commented how stupid that was. Why would anyone get their knickers in a twist over what the The Simpsons had to say about the EPA?

Well, as it turns out, we were duped. In a very funny way.

Heh. Gotta love those guys for doing this. The "EPA's" logo cracks me up.

She's a Little Bit Country. He's a Little Bit Rock-n-Roll. And I'm More Than a Little Bit Ready to Puke

For the love of all that is good, holy and decent in this world, no.

Presented with Minimal Commentary

We've got a bunch of rocket scientists on the Pakistani police force:

UK officials demanded an inquiry yesterday into the escape of a British terrorism suspect in Pakistan, writes Bob Sherwood in London and Farhan Bokhari in Islamabad .

Rashid Rauf, 26, described by Pakistani authorities as a "key person" in last year's alleged plot to blow up airliners flying from London Heathrow, escaped from custody on Saturday after appearing in an Islamabad court, where his lawyers were fighting a UK extradition request.

Pakistan's security forces were searching in NorthWest Frontier Province. They fear he could cross into Afghanistan

Mr Rauf, who has dual UK-Pakistani citizenship, escaped without a shot being fired while he was surrounded by police guards. UK officials asked Pakistan for an explanation and were told an inquiry would be held.

{my emphasis}

But they're rich rocket scientists, no doubt.

Prepared to Dodge All Sorts of Flying Flammable Objects

I've kept quiet about the immigration debate, simply because too many people have become completely unhinged when it comes to this issue. Fact and reason have gone out the window for these people, and, unfortunately, it has become harder and harder to distinguish those who have reasonable positions against illegal immigration from those who are not reasoned and rational about the discussion.

When we were in Tejas over Thanksgiving weekend, I actually had an interesting exchange with my dear father-in-law, while we were watching the news. Apparently, somewhere in the DFW metropolitan area, a preacher had been arrested for alleged pedophile activities. The preacher had a Latino surname. This was, apparently, the smoking gun for the father-in-law, and he harrumphed about it. In response I asked, "What does the fact that he has a Latino surname have to do with the fact he's a pedophile?" His reply, "Oh, you'd be surprised at how one has something to do with the other down here." I was more than a little stunned at his reply. I hadn't thought he would actually go so far. While I was tempted to reply, "Correlation does not equal causation," I kept my mouth shut, lest I upset the delicate peace that is needed for visits.

The father-in-law is usually a pretty rational and reasonable person, who bases his opinions on facts, not inflamed rhetoric, but he's fallen for the worst of the anti-immigration rhetoric, hook, line and sinker. Much of his attitude has been gained honestly, I freely admit, because he is in the manufacturing business, and his most recent job in manufacturing management was at a Maquiladora in Nogales, Mexico. He HATED going over the border every day. And I mean HATED it. The father-in-law is OCD. Everything about the way Mexico works is designed to drive a person like that nuts. Before he received authorization to use the Fast-Pass lane, he would, literally, have to spend hours in line to cross the border, on Fridays and Mondays, in particular, while Mexicans tried to get in and out of their country. His favored phrase for those who would come back with pickup trucks overflowing with items (read poorly tied down, with stuff falling off) was, "The Clampetts." When you're that close to the border, well, no one, not even your local postal carrier, speaks English well, if they speak English at all. The distance signs on the highway are denoted in kilometers, not miles. You're constantly stopped and harassed by the Border Patrol when you're on the freeway. The gorgeous landscape is marred by the litter the illegals leave behind them as they work their way north, toward Tucson and Phoenix, and points beyond. I can understand why people get pissed off about immigration. But that's absolutely no reason to make statements like the father-in-law did. If the pedophile preacher had, in fact, been a pedophile rabbi, would we not be denouncing his statement as anti-Semitic? But because the guy had a Latino surname, it's, apparently, all right to make blanket statements about one thing having to do with the other. How do you debate immigration with someone like this? When everything you say will automatically be discounted with a throwaway line snaked straight from the Lou Dobbs' Xenophobe Hour of Power? Do you even bother?

Well, I've come to the conclusion that you have to. I'll admit I've avoided the topic like the plague because I didn't feel like being used and abused. But the rhetoric is getting out of hand, particularly with the presidential election at hand. I'm not saying there aren't problems with illegal immigration. THERE ARE PROBLEMS. But, if we actually want to solve the problem, (and we do want to solve the frickin' problem, don't we? Or is it just more convenient to use illegals as a scapegoat for all the other assorted ills we have going on?) well, there are certain inescapable facts proponents of walling up the border and kicking every illegal out have to rebut. Jason Riley in today's Opinion Journal points a few of these facts out:

{...}During a sharp exchange with Mr. Huckabee at a recent debate, Mr. Romney said it's wrong to give illegal aliens access to revenue from hard-working taxpayers. "Mike, that's not your money," said Mr. Romney. "That's the taxpayers' money . . . [and] there's only so much money to go around." Following the debate, the Romney campaign released an ad reiterating the charge. "Huckabee even supported taxpayer-funded college scholarships for illegal aliens," says the narrator in a TV spot now airing in Iowa.

If illegal immigrants didn't pay taxes, Mr. Romney might have a point. But they do pay taxes, and by doing so they subsidize services that only legal residents can access. For starters, more than half and up to three-quarters of illegal immigrants in the U.S. are working "on the books," which means they're paying federal and state income taxes, just like the rest of us. They are also paying Social Security and Medicare taxes, even though undocumented immigrants are ineligible to receive benefits from either program. In testimony before the Senate Finance Committee last year, the Inspector General of the Social Security Administration noted that between 1937 and 2003, contributions to Social Security from unauthorized workers totaled an estimated $520 billion.

But even illegals working in the cash economy can't avoid paying consumption taxes, which are levied on the purchase of goods and services. Nor can they duck property taxes, even if they're renting. Mr. Romney implies that illegal aliens are a net drain on state coffers, but Mr. Huckabee's native Arkansas is an example of immigrants paying their way, and then some.

Between 2000 and 2005, Arkansas had the fastest-growing Hispanic population in the country. Today, some two-thirds of the state's 100,000 immigrants are Hispanic and half are undocumented. Yet a study released earlier this year by the Winthrop Rockefeller Foundation found these newcomers to "have a small but positive net fiscal impact on the Arkansas state budget."

Taking into account both education and health care expenditures, the report found that immigrants "cost" the state $237 million in 2004, but made direct and indirect contributions of $257 million. Immigrant Arkansans also generated some $3 billion in business revenues. According to the authors, without this foreign labor, "the output of the state's manufacturing industry would likely be lowered by about $1.4 billion--or about 8 percent of the industry's $16.2 billion total contribution to the gross state product in 2004."{...}

{my emphasis}

When you look at the entire picture, immigration is good for our economy. It just is. We need a strong economy, with cheap houses, cheap food, and cheap goods. For that economy to stay strong, we need immigration to continue apace. It would be better for the US, in the long run, to embrace immigration, to find an efficient and efficacious method to regulate immigration. This would allow Border Patrol to spend more time keeping the drug traffickers, murderers and other nasty people out of the country. Instead, they have to spend their time chasing after people who would simply like to work for a living, support their families and who aren't going to cause any trouble---and only the drug traffickers benefit from the Border Patrol's overwhelmed situation. Because our system does not work, as it stands, we get both kinds of immigrants---good and bad. And that's not good for anyone.

Other than Lou Dobbs, that is. I hear his ratings are through the roof.

Font of Wisdom

Well, it's good to know that I've got the answers to some seriously pressing questions, eh?

I swear to God, the referral logs are a never ending source of amusement.

One Heck of a Bribe

My goodness. The EU really doesn't want yet another Balkan "conflict" springing up, do they?

European Union leaders will offer Serbia a fast-track route to joining the bloc in a bid to soothe Balkan tensions over Kosovo's push for independence, a summit draft showed on Friday.

But Belgrade bristled at suggestions the move was designed to compensate it for the looming loss of the majority Albanian province. Serbian Foreign Minister Vuk Jeremic insisted any such trade-off would be out of the question.

"It would be an indecent proposal, and European leaders are decent people, they have not made such an offer," Jeremic told reporters in Belgrade on Friday.

A day after signing a treaty to end a long institutional stalemate, EU leaders switched focus to challenges posed by the Balkans -- a test of the EU's hopes of strengthening its foreign policy clout -- and by globalization and immigration.

The leaders were due to say Serbia should be offered an accelerated path towards EU entry once it meets existing conditions to sign a first-level agreement on closer ties.

"(The European Council) reiterated its confidence that progress on the road towards the EU, including candidate status, can be accelerated," a draft copy of the summit communique obtained by Reuters said.{...}

Considering how they've managed to dodge letting Turkey in for quite some time, this is surprising.

I don't know if many people have been following this struggle, but the crux of the matter is this: Kosovo wants independence and they have US, EU and UN backing for this move. Serbia doesn't want Kosovo to break away, not only because there are plenty of ethnic Serbians in Kosovo, but because they believe they have a long-standing, historical claim to the area. One has to wonder why the Serbs are particularly attached to this piece of land, particularly when they are the minority. The best explanation of this claim was delivered by Sebastian Junger in his July 1998 Vanity Fair piece entitled, "Kosovo's Valley of Death." The article isn't available online, but as I happened to have it stashed away in the basement, I'll type it out for you, my devoted Cake Eater readers, because it's truly enlightening.

In 1389, as the myth goes, Prince Lazar of Serbia was visited by Saint Ilija in the form of a falcon. It was on the eve of a great battle with the Turks, and Lazar had gathered around him, on the plains of Kosovo, much of the Balkan military elite: Bosnian warlords, Albanian noblemen, and Hungarian horsemen with shamanic bones sewn into their uniforms. Lazar was understandably nervous---the Turks had wiped out an entire Serb army 18 years earlier---and wondered whether it might not be better to retreat and fight again another day. Saint Ilija gave Lazar the choice between a kingdom on earth and a kingdom in heaven; Lazar wisely choosing the kingdom in heaven, went on to meet his death at the hands of the Turks.

The battle became known as the Battle of Kosovo Polje---the "Blackbird Field"---and it occupies a particularly fevered part of the Serb psyche. It was on Kosovo Polje that a Serb leader first chose death over subjugation; it was on Kosovo Polje that the guiding maxim of the Serb people, "Only unity saves the Serbs," was first acted out in all its bloody glory.

Nearly 600 years after the battle, Slobodan Milosevic---the man responsible for igniting the entire Balkan conflict---would stand on the ancient battlefield and whip a crowd of angry Serbs into a nationalist frenzy. "Yugoslavia does not exist without Kosovo!" he yelled, instantly catapulting himself to the top of the political heap. "Yugoslavia would disintegrate without Kosovo!"

There are candidates at least as good as the plains of Kosovo for the mythic homeland. The Serbs migrated southward from Saxony and what is now the Czech republic in the sixth century A.D., and didn't settle permanently in Kosovo for another 600 years.

The high water mark of the Serb empire came in the 1330s, when a brutal nobleman named Stefan Dusan defeated his own father in battle, had him strangled and then went on to extend his empire throughout Kosovo and into Greece. He built numerous Orthodox monasteries and churches, and eventually had himself crowned emperor of the Greeks, Bulgarians, Serbs and Albanians.

The empire didn't survive his own death, though; within decades the turks defeated the Serbs at Kosovo Polje, and 300 hundred years after that the turks put down another uprising so ruthlessly that most Serbs fled Kosovo. The void they left behind was filled by the Albanians, who drifted back down out of the mountains with their wild, hill-people ways.

Traditional Albanian society was based on a clan system and was further divided into brotherhoods and bajraks. The bajrak system identified a local leader, called a bajrakar, who could be counted on to provide a certain number of men for military duty. In another era, Adem Jasari and Ahmet Ahmeti might well have been considered barjakars. That organization has fallen into disuse, but the clans---basically used to determine allegiances during a blood feud---seem to have survived.

Feuds in this part of the world inevitably break out over offenses to a man's honor, which include calling him a liar, insulting his female relatives, violating his hospitality, or stealing his weapons. Tradition dictates that these transgressions be avenged by killing any man in the offender's family, which creates another round of violence. As late as the end of the 19th century, one in five adult male deaths was the result of a blood feud, and in Albania today, is is said, a tradition still exists whereby you must kill one man for every bullet in the body of your dead kin.

Seen in the context of the code of male honor, the Serb police have violated just about every blood-feud rule in existence, including the killing of women---a provocation above all others. It's no wonder they have such a hard time maintaining control over Kosovo.

The Kosovars were granted autonomy at the end of World War II, but then aspiring president Milosevic had the autonomy revoked in 1989, and the Dayton Accords of 1995, which ended the recent war in Bosnia and Croatia, failed to address the issue of Kosovo's status. Inevitably, an independence movement was born, funded by a voluntary 3 percent tax given by the Albanian diaspora and supported by groups in Albania proper. {...}

When you take this into account, it is interesting how the EU seems to believe they can solve the pesky problem of nationalism with supranationalism. Granted that supranationalism comes with the lure of free and easy trade, but really, the Serbs just don't seem to care. They believe they have a historical right to Kosovo, and they have the added bonus of having a new and improved Russia behind them. Despite the Serbs' recent humiliations, they seem to think this is the one they can win. Given that the Russia of 2007 is much different than the Russia of 1999, they might just be right.

The months-long talks the UN organized to come to some sort of agreement over Kosovo ended on the 10th of this month, with no resolution. Everyone is sticking firmly to their opening positions. The Kosovars want independence; The Serbs don't. The two sides are not going to come to any agreement over this, and, quite frankly, all it's going to take is a few Molotov cocktails and the area will be transported back in time to 1999. Fortunately, that hasn't happened yet, but I believe it's just a matter of time. Diplomacy has failed. The UN has handed over shepherding duties to the newly formed EU diversionary force and I have a suspicion that when all hell breaks loose, they won't be up to the job and will come crying to NATO. Which, if you believe Russia's bluster on the matter, could conceivably mean the US, via NATO, will, in essence, be at war with Serbia and, by extension, Russia. This could happen before the end of the year, but my money's on an early to mid-January start.

One wonders if the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade is ready to be mistakenly bombed again.

The Dumbest Person in the World

Yep. You guessed it. It's Britney Spears. Who's looking suspiciously healthy after she claimed illness to get out of a deposition yesterday.

Back when VH1 used to have 'Behind the Music' on the schedule---a show I dearly loved---I was fond of claiming that I couldn't wait to see Britney's episode, because I was sure the meltdown would be fast, furious and glorious to watch. Now I'm not so sure. Anyone this stupid is bound to be boring as all hell. Her downfall has become tedious.

Can we just get it over with already?

Ringing True

Via the ever magnificent Sheila, I found this after following a few links.

{...}First, I think that, admirable as it is to have a National Infertility Awareness Week, the first week in November may not be the most appropriate time to bring attention to our plight. How about the first week of May, as we approach the agony and indignity of Mother’s Day? That’s when women inflicted with infertility wish and pray that people would recognize that all women who wish to be mothers aren’t. That when the minister preaches a sermon on the blessings of motherhood, and how children are a gift from God, the infertile women in the congregation can’t help but cringe inside and wonder, “why wasn’t I blessed with children? Why didn’t God grant me children? Was I bad? Did I offend Him? Does He not trust me with children? Does God think I would be a bad mother?”

{...}Finally, the week that for me would be most appropriate as National Infertility Awareness Week would be the week leading up to Christmas. How painfully aware is the infertile woman of her status during this time! Everything about the holiday season revolves around children. Santa Clause doesn’t come to our homes. There’s no reason to get up early and rush to our presents. There’s no excited eagerness, cookies left on plates next to a glass of milk, no working late at night as a parenting team to assemble toys. Even the life of the extended family revolves around children. The families with children get to make the decisions regarding when and where the extended family meets to celebrate the holidays. And the infertile women smile, and whither a little a little inside while trying to comply and not seem like a “whiner”. After all, we have no weight in the argument; we haven’t provided the grandchildren, we haven’t any stock in the Christmas get-together.{...}

Go read the whole thing.

Silly Germans!: "The Russians Ain't Got Nothin' on Me" Edition

We can all agree that duty free booze is a beautiful thing, but this is a little ridiculous.

BERLIN - A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing a liter (two pints) of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new carry-on rules, police said Wednesday.

The incident occurred at the Nuremberg airport on Tuesday, where the 64-year-old man was switching planes on his way home to Dresden from a holiday in Egypt.

New airport rules prohibit passengers from carrying larger quantities of liquid onto planes, and he was told at a security check he would have to either throw out the bottle of vodka or pay a fee to have his carry-on bag checked as cargo.

Instead, he chugged the bottle down — and was quickly unable to stand or otherwise function, police said.{...}

I suppose that's one way to get around fluid restrictions.

Awfully rough on the liver, though, eh?

Yeee-ouch!

I present with minimal comment, because I used to live there, the New York Post's Cindy Adams, on the Iowa Caucuses.

Ahem.

WHO the hell cares about Iowa? Barring a caucus every few years, who even thinks of Iowa. All it's ever brought us is corn, Herbert Hoover, the Wright Brothers, Ashton Kutcher and "The Music Man." Its main attraction is an airport in Des Moines that gets you out.

And this state with less people than I have in my kitchen is determining the future of our most powerful nation on Earth?

OK, first off, in Algonquin "caucus" means "a tribal gathering of chiefs." In Iowa, it means a grass-roots get-together. In truth, it means a load of BS. The history of their caucuses (caucii?) comes down to the fact that Ronald Reagan lost in them. Twice. Bill Clinton came in fourth. But they did deliver us Jimmy Carter. So what's that tell you?

This first step toward occupying the White House begins in maybe a firehouse. Farmhouse. High school gym. Just being able to write your name is the first plus toward eligibility. The event begins 6:30. Registration starts at 6. Not like this is a big long line or anything. You needn't even be 18 to register. Needn't even be a Republican, Democrat or Independent. You can decide when you get there. Besides, after you decide and after a piece of pie you can change again. We are not talking deep convictions here. For all anybody cares, a body can even stick up a finger for Ross Perot.

And, please, the eyes of the whole world are on this come-as-you-are operation, where the next president of the United States of America can be picked by a show of hands?{...}

But wait, there's more...

{...}Hey, this incredibly fabulous area is only important because we made it important, not because it is important. Ask what's it really known for and a local might boast, "We're the only state whose name begins with two vowels." Wow-ee! Take that, Ahmadinejad! The whole deal in Iowa is a hustle. It gets this state farm subsidies and fortunes in advertising. With tubloads of volunteers, gurus, journalists and specialists piling in, this translates to hotel rooms, restaurants, drivers. It brings Oprah to the plains and bread to the cornfield.{...}

I repeat: Yeeee-ouch. Can't wait to hear what Russ has to say about this one.

How I Shall Be Spending My Afternoon

The neighborhood in which the husband's shop resides, Bryn Mawr, is hosting a "Saturnalia" (yeah, don't start with me about it. I UNDERSTAND.) event on this coming Saturday, December 15th. It's meant to drive traffic into the neighborhood stores, and quite a few people show up. Last year, I made the huge and horrible mistake of supplying the husband with homemade caramels to give away, along with hot cider, to those who passed by. It was a huge success, and now I have been asked, very politely indeed, to make them again. So I will. And then I will make another batch, next week, to give out with the rest of my Christmas goodies. These are pretty tasty, and if you've got some spare time on your hands---and I mean a lot of spare time---make for a delicious Christmas treat.

Golden Caramels

(Makes about 150. Caramels should be individually wrapped in cellophane or waxed paper, so they keep their shape.)

4 cups heavy cream
1 can sweetened condensed milk
4 cups light corn syrup
4 cups sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 lb. unsalted butter (two sticks) cut into sixteen pieces
1 tablespoon plus one teaspoon vanilla extract
Vegetable oil cooking spray

1. Spray an 11 3/4-by-16 1/2 inch baking pan (a half-sheet pan) with vegetable oil spray. In a 2qt saucepan, combine cream and sweetened condensed milk; set aside.

2. In a heavy 6-to-8qt saucepan, combine corn syrup, 1 cup water, sugar and salt. Clip on candy thermometer. Over high heat, cook until sugar is dissolved, stirring with a wooden spoon, 8 to 12 minutes. Brush down sides of pan with a pastry brush dipped in water to remove any sugar crystals.

3. Stop stirring, reduce heat to medium, and bring to a boil. Cook, without stirring, until temperature reaches 250 degrees (hard-ball stage), 45-60 minutes. Meanwhile, cook cream mixture over low heat until it is just warm. Do not boil. When sugar reaches 250 degrees, slowly stir in butter and warmed cream mixture, keeping mixture boiling at all times. Stirring constantly, cook over medium heat until thermometer reaches 244 degrees (firm-ball stage), 55-75 minutes. Stir in vanilla. Immediately pour into prepared pan without scraping the pot. Let stand uncovered at room temperature for 24 hours without moving.

4. To cut, spray a large cutting board generously with vegetable oil spray. Unmold caramel from pan onto sprayed surface. Cut into 1-by 1 1/4-inch pieces, or other shapes. Wrap each in cellophane or waxed paper.

So, a few tips from moi, because I've made this recipe a few times and I just happen to have a few handy, dandy tips to pass along. First, this recipe takes HOURS to complete (and then you have to wait a full twenty-four hours before cutting them up) so wear comfy shoes, have good music on the radio and a cocktail in hand (with a full shaker nearby). Second, you don't need a half-sheet pan to use this recipe; a jelly roll pan does nicely, although the caramels do come out a little thicker than what I think they were originally intended to, so do take that into account when you cut them up. Third, this is not a recipe for novice candy makers. If you are not familiar with what "hard ball" and "firm ball" mean, ahem, in relation to candy making, this is not the recipe for you. Practice on some peanut brittle and then take this one on. Fourth, you can buy waxed paper wrappers at a kitchen specialty store, like Williams and Sonoma; I would not recommend being cheap and cutting up squares from a roll of waxed paper---they don't work nearly as well. Fifth, and final, they're not kidding when they instruct to spray the cutting board with Pam. The caramels warm up as you work with them and they start sticking. The Pam prevents this, so use it.

Other than that, well, enjoy! And if you're out and about on Saturday afternoon, December 15th, and happen to live in the Minneapolis-St. Paul metropolitan area, drop by Bryn Mawr Computer Support to enjoy the Saturnalia festival. Hit the corner of Penn Ave and South Cedar Lake Road, and you'll find the merriment.

Coo-el Tool

So, have you ever had a loved one go flying about the country, and then wondered where, precisely, they were in the course of their journey?

Well, wonder no more, my devoted Cake Eater readers, for, hark, there is Flight Aware. All you need to do is enter in an airline and the flight number and, voila, a handy dandy little map comes up, and shows you the flight's progress, with the information coming directly from the air traffic control system. For instance, I can tell that the husband is, currently, about to land at O'Hare. His plane is cruising at 1600 ft., is going 176 knots, and has sixteen miles to go before landing. Impressive, no?

I suspect that in twenty minutes or so, he'll be texting me that he's landed and is wandering around O'Hare, looking for a cup of coffee.

Random Question of the Day

When did A Few of My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music become Christmas music?

Heir Apparent

Vlad the Impaler finally made his move yesterday and announced his "heir": one Dimitry Medvedev, St. Petersburg lackey, first deputy Prime Minister and---surprise, surprise, surprise---the Chairman of Gazprom. Today, Medvedev made it apparent that he appreciated the support by announcing he'd hand dear old Vlad the post of Prime Minister if he were elected President in March.

{...}Mr Medvedev said that he would ask Mr Putin to take the post of prime minister as a way of ensuring continuity in the country’s economic and political course. “I consider it principally important for our country to keep in the most important position in executive power – in the post of chairman of the Russian government – Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin,” Mr Medvedev said in brief televised remarks on Tuesday.

The announcement came just one day after Mr Putin endorsed Mr Medvedev, a soft-spoken ally from St Petersburg, as his preferred successor as president, in a move hailed by investors as signaling a continuation of Mr Putin’s policies by a figure seen as less hawkish than his potential rivals for the post.

{...}“This means the team will remain,” he said. Putin will retain leverage he will also have the parliamentary majorty behind him. Medvedev will be the head of executive power. But he will not have experience with the siloviki. They will continue to see Putin as their de facto leader. "Putin will remain the real leader,” he said..

Sergei Markov said the tandem of Mr Medvedev as president and Mr Putin as prime minister would leave Mr Putin with more leverage, at least for an initial period, because Mr Medvedev had no experience of dealing with the crucial “power ministries” – the Interior and Defence Ministries, the secret services and the prosecutor general’s office.{...}

Well, no one's really surprised at this development, are they? Everyone knew that Vlad would retain power; it was simply a matter of waiting to see precisely how he would do it. About the only interesting thing about this is his choice of Medvedev, who is pro-western and not a member of the siloviki---members of Putin's entourage who are former KGB or were associated with other security services, such as Sergei Ivanov, yet another first deputy prime minister and much-banger-on of the "new" Russia's power. I find it curious that Vlad passed over Ivanov, who is much more hawkish, and whose views are much more in line with Vlad's. One could perhaps surmise that, with this move, Vlad thought Ivanov wouldn't be as pliable as previously thought, but who knows for certain.

Yet, with this appointment, I don't think we'll be seeing the end of the "agree with us or we'll shut off your heat" blackmail Gazprom is so fond of using on its former republics (and Europe, to some extent.). If anything, that will be worse. If Medvedev doesn't resign his chairmanship of Gazprom, that would mean Gazprom (and Rosneft, the state oil company) wouldn't just be rumored to be carrying out Russia's foreign policy goals, the arrangement would be formalized. While I don't know if this is possible under Russian law, it would make things very tidy, which, as we all know, is how Vlad likes things. This wouldn't be any different than when Gazprom was a wholly owned subsidiary of the Soviet Socialist Republic. If I were in charge of a major multinational oil company, you can bet that the last thing I would consider is dumping any money into developing Russia's oil and gas reserves. Considering what Russia's done in the past in terms of "repatriation" of developments like Sahkalin 2 ("environmental damage" my ass), I can only think the situation would be worse if Medvedev retains the chairmanship, is elected president, and takes his orders from Vlad.

This situation may be disturbing to those of us who remember the Cold War---and it IS disturbing---but I have to say, I'm finding this whole thing somewhat fascinating. I can't outthink Vlad on the chess moves (I suspected he'd pull something along these lines, but the specifics were beyond me, and it's not like I was alone in that, either.) but find myself watching nonetheless. You can appreciate the brilliance of the moves, even if you don't agree with the moves themselves. He's one canny bastard, that's for sure.

Let the Games Begin

So, if you hadn't already figured it out with my kvetching about bereavement fares, we've had a death in the family.

The husband's grandfather, aged eighty-four, passed away last week. In many ways this is a blessing. Grandpa hadn't been doing so well lately, and had been moved into a nursing home. He received phenomenal care, not only from the nursing home, but from the hospice organization, which helped to organize his care. (Seriously, folks, if you are, sadly, in need of a hospice for one of your loved ones, we highly recommend Odyssey Hospice. The organization is located in several states and they have bent over backward to make Grandma comfortable when she passed away this spring (they even had a harpist in to play for the patients, because hearing is one of the last senses to go. This pleased my mother-in-law to no end and helped Grandma to find peace.) and to organize Grandpa's care, even on visits to their home in the DFW metroplex. They also sent a nurse with the in-laws while they were trying to find a nursing home for him, to answer questions and help them evaluate a situation about which they knew very little. They have our sincere gratitude for making a difficult year a little better. ) But Grandpa was missing his wife of sixty-five years terribly, and he finally decided it was time to go and be with her. While he was a cantankerous soul at times---well, who am I kidding? He wasn't exactly a cuddly sort---he will nevertheless be missed.

So, while Grandpa's passing is a blessing, the time that we've been dreading has come. It's time to divvy up the estate. Fortunately, the potential fraud that I alluded to in that post never showed up. That's fortunate, but the ghouls are already at it, and have been since before Grandpa's body went cold. They've been harping on about travel costs to the funeral, which is being held in Illinois, not Arizona, where Grandma and Grandma retired, and where the ghouls had settled, as well, presumably to be closer to the cash. Apparently, they thought they shouldn't have to fork out to travel to their own father's funeral. Then we have the added joy that one of the ghouls is, apparently, worried about taxes from his inheritance, because "he just doesn't have the money to pay them," working off the assumption that the payday was going to happen right after the funeral. Evidently, there have been plenty of other rude and presumptuous statements made, but the father-in-law has chosen not to share them for fear of upsetting the applecart.

I'll repeat: I just DO NOT GET THESE PEOPLE. The funeral is on Thursday and I'm not going, but I can only imagine what it will be like. The ghouls are crass people. They are uncouth and have no class whatsoever. Undoubtedly, at the funeral they will make statements along the lines of "I can't believe how much this costs"---even though the funeral arrangements were made and paid for long ago. Undoubtedly, they will also whine about the cost of the casket, and will wonder aloud why their father needed to be buried in such an expensive box. They will comment on who is there and who isn't there, and will make foul statements about them. They will whine about how much the trip is costing them and will try and freeload meals and rooms and rides from anyone they think is responsible for paying for it (i.e. my in-laws). I'm not exaggerating about this either. They are actually this crass. If, God forbid, there actually happens to be a meeting with the lawyer about the estate, they will want checks cut, right there and then, and will whine, volubly, when the wheels of the legal system do not move as quickly as they'd like. Their life's work has been waiting for their parents to pass away so they can cash in, and now that the moment's here, it's going to get ugly if they can't get their filthy paws on what they think is owed them right away. (Particularly because one of them is, I believe, counting on it for gas money for the trip back to Arizona.) God help us when they find out that the amount they think they should get is different than what it is in actuality.

The ugliness is at the doorstep, knocking on the door, and because of the way things work, the husband's family has no choice but to open said door and let it in. All we can hope for in the meantime is that, hopefully, the ugliness is survivable.

Traffic, Baby. We Needs Some Traffic.

Go here. A lot.

Aw c'mon. Don't look at me like that. You know you already go to those kinds of sites. This is your one-stop-shop. You know this will shortly become one of your favorites, because, well, it's just so functional.

And if you're wondering what the hell kind of site it could possibly be, well, click on over, kids and keep clicking. Suggest feeds. Vote for your favorites. Visit the sponsors. {wink, wink, nudge, nudge}

The husband thanks you for your support and promises that the more you visit, the prettier it will look.

And, yes, I did have fun p-shopping Tommy Boy Cruise's head onto a casserole.

Riddle Me This

Why is it, with the airlines, that you can only purchase bereavement fare airline tickets over the phone, and they then turn around and nail you with a ten dollar "purchase by phone" fee?

Is the phrase, "Bait and switch" ringing anyone's bell? You know, other than mine?

Sacrilege

Toward the end, I was sincerely hoping her arm was going to be pulled right out of its socket. Because, it's apparent, she deserved some pain for inflicting that on the rest of us.

After watching that, the Guns-n-Roses' version is growing on me.

Ok.

The Christmas season can officially start now.

Thank God "Heroes" and "Life" are on Hiatus UPDATED

Because it's time to stop watching NBC.

Why did NBC refuse to air these ads? Well, because they include the URL of Freedom's Watch website.. Which, according to NBC, is "too political."

WASHINGTON - NBC has rejected a TV ad by Freedom's Watch, a conservative group that supports administration policy in Iraq, that asks viewers to remember and thank U.S. troops during the holiday season.

NBC said it declined to air the ad because it refers to the group's Web site, which the network said was too political, not because of the ad's message.

{...}The spot was to be part of a seven-figure campaign that includes newspaper ads and television commercials. The ads are to run on CNN and Fox News Channel and are running in various newspapers. The New York Times ran a full-page Freedom's Watch ad Friday that said "Thank You!" and depicted a soldier reading a letter. The newspaper ad also contained the Web site address.

Alan Wurtzel, NBC's head of standards and practices, said the network decided not to run the Freedom's Watch ad because the group insisted that the spot contain the URL address of its Web site.{...}

What offense is to be found on Freedom Watch's website?

{...}It also contains a welcoming message that states: "For too long, conservatives have lacked a permanent political presence to do battle with the radical special interests groups and their left-wing allies in government."

"We have a policy that prohibits acceptance of advertising that deals with issues of public controversy," Wurtzel said. "This particular ad, in and of itself, is fine. It thanks the troops for their action overseas. We asked them to eliminate a URL address where a person is asked to contact elected officials and told not to cut and run on the war on terror."{...}

{my emphasis}

To be fair, a quick Google search will show you that NBC has refused to air any number of uber-liberal Moveon-dot-org ads. Yet, curiously enough, in the course of my search, I couldn't find any mention of NBC ever saying to Move on-dot-org, as they did to Freedom's Watch, "Hey, remove the political content on your website and we'll let the ads air."

What does that tell you?

Sunday, December 9th Update: NBC caved!

WASHINGTON -- NBC reversed course Saturday and decided to air a conservative group's television ad thanking U.S. troops.

The ad, by the group Freedom's Watch, asks viewers to remember the troops during the holiday season. NBC had refused to air the ad because it guides viewers to the Freedom's Watch Web site, which NBC said was too political.

But in a statement issued Saturday evening, NBC said:

"We have reviewed and changed our ad standards guidelines and made the decision that our policy will apply to content only and not to a referenced Web site. Based on these amended standards the Freedom's Watch ad will begin to run as early as Sunday."{...}

And NBC did, indeed, run the ad this morning---with the URL present and accounted for---during Meet The Press, or so the husband, who is the one person in the Cake Eater Pad who actually watches that show, informs me.

{ht: Ace}

Baby. Bathwater. Trouble Differentiating the Two.

Oh, bite me.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Once again there has been a mass shooting in the United States, this time in a Nebraska shopping mall. Once again there is no national outcry for gun control.

Hmmm. Why do I get the feeling Mr. Trotta is a wee bit disappointed with this development? Maybe he's not disappointed. Maybe, just maybe, he's just reporting the facts of the situation? Could it be?

A 19-year-old man shot and killed eight people and then himself in Omaha, Nebraska, on Wednesday with a semi-automatic AK-47 that police say he stole from his stepfather.

Leading presidential candidates for the November 2008 U.S. election issued statements expressing sorrow and support for the victims. None called for tighter gun laws, which are traditionally left to state and local authorities.

The crime revived memories of a massacre in April at Virginia Tech university, where a student killed 32 people.

There has been a string of such shooting sprees in recent years, but little resonance among national politicians.

Well, that's "factual" enough, but why am I still getting a faint whiff of disappointment that a national gun control melee hasn't broken out?

The right to bear arms is fiercely defended as a U.S. constitutional right by large numbers of collectors, hunters and advocates of home security, cherished the way civil libertarians champion the right to free speech.

Yet the issue is controversial enough to draw in the Supreme Court, which said last month it would review an appeals court ruling that struck down a 31-year-old ban on private possession of handguns in Washington, D.C.

"Although people who favor increased gun control in the United States are a substantial majority, those who oppose it are far more intense in their opposition and far more likely to vote on the basis of that issue alone," said Bill Galston, senior fellow at the Washington-based Brookings Institution.

He cited the 1994 elections when the Democrats lost control of both houses of Congress. Some political analysts attributed the rout to backlash against a Democratic-led ban on assault weapons. That law was allowed to expire 10 years later.

"I might want to qualify that judgment, but the fact that it's widely believed and that there is some basis for it is enough to determine political behavior," Galston said.

Hmmm... still that faint whiff of disappointment. Maybe he'll present the opposing side in the next little bit? Ya think?

A Pennsylvania state representative who last month helped defeat a proposal to limit hand gun purchases to one per person per month said he would support tougher sentencing laws for people who acquire and use illegal guns, but that law-abiding citizens should not have their rights infringed.

"I received thousands of e-mails with some of these gun control measures. Once again, it's the right to bear arms and many of our citizens don't want that right taken away," said Ron Marsico, chairman of the state House Judiciary Committee and a Republican.

Besides, he said, no law may have prevented the Omaha tragedy.

Wow. A bit of fairness has been introduced. A nasty mean legislator who helped defeat a measure in the Pennsylvania legislature that would have kept people to one handgun a month was quoted. Wooh. I'm impressed. Let's see how he finishes up. Who do you think he'll quote next? Someone from the NRA, perhaps?

Paul Helmke, president of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, disagrees. He said European countries have enacted effective gun control laws and that U.S. politicians are cowed by the gun lobby as exemplified by the National Rifle Association.

"There is the mythology advanced by the gun lobby of the Wild West and the individual frontiersman single-handedly holding off the British and the Indians and the bears simultaneously," said Helmke.

"They've got politicians nervous about anything that's even got the word gun in it."

Ah, he blew it. He went to the people responsible for the Brady Bill, who then played the stereotypical gun lobby/owner card. He might as well have said everyone wants a gun to go with their coonskin caps, because it's fashionable. And he brought up the all holy Europeans and their attitude towards gun control. Never mind the fact that while European countries have enacted strict gun control legislation, ahem, people are still being murdered in said countries. They're just being offed via knives, mostly, and other, more creative means of murder.

It's quite amazing to me that Trotta never really hits the reason why there hasn't been a revitalization of the gun control debate in the wake of the shooting in Omaha and that is, ahem, because the shooter was not right in the head. Increased gun control might have kept Hawkins from shooting shoppers and employees at Westroads, but who's to say that he wouldn't have done the same thing with a knife? Or some other deadly instrument? Yet, because the guy used an AK-47 that he stole, apparently we're supposed to be outraged enough to ban all handguns and assault rifles, despite the 2nd Amendment. That would be the logical response, evidently. That people aren't baying for Charlton Heston's blood seems inconceivable to Trotta.

I've said it before: I don't like guns. They scare the crap out of me. I've held a 9mm Glock in my cold, sweaty hands, and I did not like it one bit. Particularly after I found out that it doesn't have a safety on it. But my dislike of guns does not mean I'm going to impinge on someone else's right, by the Constitution of the United States of America, to have one. If they feel the need to defend themselves, and want a handgun to do it, so be it. If they feel they need a rifle to kill Bambi on a regular basis, well, since I'm a fan of venison, so be it. As long as they're law abiding citizens, I don't see what the problem is. Gun control laws only regulate people who purchase guns legally. It doesn't control the people who steal guns and then use them. Like Robert Hawkins. Who stole a n AK-47 and killed and wounded a goodly number of people. Trotta would seemingly have us believe that Hawkins---and all other shooters---is irrelevant, but that the bloody gun---and all other guns---are the most relevant things in the world.

I think not.

Random Question(s) for the Day, Thursday, December 6, 2007

For those of my devoted Cake Eater readers who are bakers in their off hours, are you one of those people who has to make sure every bit of batter/cookie dough is out of the bowl, in a waste-not-want-not fashion? Or do you scrape the sides and, if there's stuff left, let the dishwasher take care of it?

Interesting News Articles. Silly Germans Included

A couple of interesting news items I thought I'd pass along.

It's an attack against Christmas!

And, yes, if you hadn't already figured it out, I'm being sarcastic. Billy Bob O'Reilly can go ahead and bite me if he's got a problem with my attitude.

Now for the Silly Germans. Apparently, a Berlin hairdresser found the plans for the Bundesbank's sooper sekrit safety vault---and included in the package were all the safety precautions the bank had in place---in a garbage can outside her shop.

The mind reels with the possibilities, doesn't it, my devoted Cake Eater readers?

Holy Shit!

Gunman kills at least 8 at Omaha Mall.

OMAHA, Neb. - A man with a rifle opened fire at a busy shopping mall Wednesday, killing eight people before taking his own life. Five more people were wounded, two critically.

Shoppers and employees ran screaming through the mall and barricaded themselves in dressing rooms after hearing gunfire. The gunman was found dead on the third floor of the Von Maur department store in the Westroads Mall, in a prosperous neighborhood on the city's west side.

{...}Sgt. Teresa Negron said the gunman killed eight people, then apparently killed himself. His name was not immediately released, and authorities gave no motive for the attack and did not know whether he said anything during the rampage.{...}

Holy Shit, my devoted Cake Eater Readers. HOLY SHIT!

A gunman shot up Westroads? Good God. I'm just stunned.

And I cannot even begin to tell you how pissed off I am at the mainstream media right now. I was practicing a little radio silence earlier, to get some work done, and I missed this story as it broke. But there hasn't been ONE GODDAMNED WORD about this on either Brit Hume's or Wolf Blitzer's respective programs. But there's been plenty about Mike Huckabee's Willie Horton moment. Never mind that the AP has, as part of its "slideshow", no less than four maps showing just where Omaha resides in flyover land. Because, apparently, everyone in New York needed a little geography lesson. I just want to know what happened, people. Give me some freakin' video!

I don't know how many times I've been to Westroads. Thousands, probably. But not as many times as I've been to The Center or Crossroads---my mother's chosen malls. She hates Westroads; it's "too big and too far out." Westroads was the mall when I was growing up. And it had an entire store devoted to "Hello Kitty" merchandise...it was cool. I haven't been there in years---I don't go to Omaha to shop---but damn. I feel as if a big chunk of my childhood has been attacked.

The family that still lives there is ok. My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families.

UPDATE: It appears as if one of my sister-in-laws was caught up in the melee at Westroads yesterday. Apparently, she'd just entered Younkers (or Yoinkers in Cake Eater Lingo, because I hate that department store), with my four-year-old nephew in tow, when someone came flying by her and told her to get out because someone was shooting in the mall. She turned to leave, but apparently, the nephew didn't want to have anything to do with leaving and was not cooperative, dragging his feet the entire way. Fortunately, the sister-in-law is bigger than the four-year-old (not by much though! she's tiny!) and won the argument with brute force. They got out and are fine, if not a little shook-up.

Insert the Sound of My Head Smacking Against the Desk Here

For the love of Christ...

{ht: wwtdd}

Christmas Sale!

If you're in the market for a sweet, custom built rig that's just perfect for all things gaming/multimedia this holiday season, may I be so bold as to direct you here?

They're having a sale. And I know for a fact that they do excellent work. *

They also sell gift certificates, if you'd like to protect your friends and family from future hard-drive crashes.

Yeah, BMCS is the husband's shop, but they really do good work for a fair price. Just compare their prices with Geek Squad. And know that they won't go nuclear on your machine with the system restores if they don't absolutely have to---like Geek Squad does.

Greatest Play in College Football History?

Steve-o thinks it's this one. Furthermore, he thinks it's the "greatest play in American Sports history."

While undoubtedly impressive, I think it's this one.

I remember watching this game, and being stunned, much like everyone else, that Flutie managed to get that pass off, let alone that he got it to the receiver---and that Phelan managed, somehow, to actually catch it.

What I also remember is Vinny Testaverde's soul-wrenching expression of pure stunned, gaping-mouthed disbelief at the outcome, which, before that pass, had been pretty much in his favor (not only game-wise, but Heisman Trophy-wise, as well), but unfortunately, I couldn't find a video which covered that particular moment in time.

Both are flukes, obviously. But does the fact that the Stanford band was on the field trump Flutie's mad pass throwing skillz? I don't think so.

You Get the Government You Deserve

Not here, but in Venezuela.

Betty Rojas has every reason to feel disenchanted with the government of President Hugo Chávez. A resident of the sprawling La Pedrera shanty town in the south-west of Caracas, Ms Rojas says Venezuela’s government has been slow to help after landslides last month made her home unsafe and cut off supplies of water and other services.

She now faces the prospect of eviction and a spell as a resident in a former pasta factory that has been converted into a centre for the homeless, and is bewildered by the prospect. “Nobody is providing any answers,” says Ms Rojas, a 32-year-old dressmaker.

But her disenchantment with the government will not lead her to vote on Sunday against the president’s plans to change the constitution and accelerate Venezuela’s transition towards 21st century socialism. “I voted for Chávez last time but I will not vote at all on Sunday.”

Other residents of La Pedrera are equally exasperated by official inaction and complain that lack of maintenance made disaster inevitable. Norma Valero, 40, who sells clothes on a market stall, is upset at the prospect of living in the refuge. “Chávez builds houses in Bolivia and Cuba. Why doesn’t he do something for us. We are forgotten. They move at the speed of a tortoise,” she says. But angry though she is, Ms Valero says she will abstain rather than vote against the government. “I have no time for any of them.”

{...}But it is not clear that this will be enough to defeat Mr Chávez’s project to reshape the constitution. Even in La Pedrera Mr Chávez can still count on many votes. Margarita Lopez Maya, a sociologist who has studied La Pedrera for many years and says its problems could easily have been avoided, says the unwillingness of the residents to oppose Mr Chávez is hard to believe. But for “the poor people there still really is no other option”.

{my emphasis}

There's no other option? Really? Maybe---and I would like to emphasize this is only a suggestion---you might want to ditch the victim mentality and go out and do something for yourself. Like protesting or even---gasp!---voting against constitutional reforms which would guarantee you'll never have the chance to get out of the slums you live in.

Because, if it hasn't already dawned on you, Lippy McLipster wants you to be in the slums. He wants you running to hell and back simply to obtain milk, bread and other daily necessities. Why would someone who's so fond of claiming he's fighting for social justice (!) seemingly want these things? Why, it's really quite elementary, my dear. You're easier to control that way.

UPDATE: Well, way to go Venezuela. I'm happy to be proven wrong.

CARACAS, Venezuela - Humbled by his first electoral defeat ever, President Hugo Chavez said Monday he may have been too ambitious in asking voters to let him stand indefinitely for re-election and endorse a huge leap to a socialist state.

"I understand and accept that the proposal I made was quite profound and intense," he said after voters narrowly rejected the sweeping constitutional reforms by 51 percent to 49 percent.

Opposition activists were ecstatic as the results were announced shortly after midnight — with 88 percent of the vote counted, the trend was declared irreversible by elections council chief Tibisay Lucena.

Narrowly defeated, yes. But who the hell cares? Lippy McLipster is actually recognizing the vote and isn't claiming that the US meddled with the election as an excuse to nullify the returns. That's progress!

Of course, there are still some who aren't happy:

{...}Nelly Hernandez, a 37-year-old street vendor, cried as she wandered outside the presidential palace early Monday amid broken beer bottles as government workers took apart a stage mounted earlier for a victory fete.

"It's difficult to accept this, but Chavez has not abandoned us, he'll still be there for us," she said between sobs.{...}

{my emphasis}

No, Lippy hasn't abandoned you. As if. Sha. He needs you. After all, what's socialism without idealistic people who willingly sign up to be impoverished in the name of social justice (!)? I'm sure he'll promise you an overarching subsidy within days, just to keep you satisfied, so that you'll vote for whatever "reforms" he proposes next.

It's Saturday

Which means there won't be any weather updates from Lileks. I shall bravely step into his wingtips and see if I can't provide that which you are undoubtedly missing.

SIGNIFICANT WINTER STORM FOR MUCH OF MINNESOTA AND WESTERN WISCONSIN TODAY INTO SUNDAY.

A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM OVER THE SOUTHERN ROCKIES WILL CONTINUE
TO STRENGTHEN BEFORE LIFTING NORTHEAST OVER THE MIDWEST TODAY. THE
LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM IS FORECAST TO PASS JUST SOUTH OF MINNESOTA
AND WESTERN WISCONSIN. A LARGE AREA OF SNOW IS BEGINNING TO
OVERSPREAD THE REGION THIS MORNING...ENTERING SOUTHWEST MINNESOTA AROUND DAYBREAK AND REACHING CENTRAL MINNESOTA AND WESTERN WISCONSIN BY LATE MORNING. THE HEAVIEST PRECIPITATION IS EXPECTED TO OCCUR FROM MIDDAY THROUGH EARLY EVENING. VISIBILITIES WILL FREQUENTLY BE A HALF MILE OR LESS. THERE WILL ALSO BE A BRISK EAST-SOUTHEAST WIND DURING THE DAY.

WARMER AIR ALOFT WILL SPREAD INTO FAR SOUTHERN MINNESOTA AND
PORTIONS OF WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN...FROM DURAND TO EAU CLAIRE
DURING THE AFTERNOON AND EVENING HOURS. THIS WILL CHANGE THE SNOW
TO SLEET AND FREEZING RAIN...ALONG AND SOUTH OF A LINE FROM
REDWOOD FALLS THROUGH THE SOUTHERN SUBURBS OF THE TWIN CITIES TO
EAU CLAIRE. SLEET COULD SPREAD ACROSS THE REST OF THE TWIN CITIES
METROPOLITAN AREA DURING SATURDAY EVENING...AS WELL AS THROUGH
MENOMONIE AND CHIPPEWA FALLS IN WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN.

AS THE LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM MOVES AWAY FROM THE REGION
TONIGHT...PRECIPITATION ACROSS THE ENTIRE AREA IS EXPECTED TO
TRANSITION INTO A LIGHT FREEZING DRIZZLE AND LIGHT SNOW SCENARIO
AS DRIER AIR ALOFT WORKS INTO THE SYSTEM. THIS TRANSITION WOULD
BEGIN THIS EVENING ACROSS WEST CENTRAL AND SOUTHWEST MINNESOTA AND WORK EASTWARD INTO WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN BY EARLY SUNDAY MORNING.

SNOWFALL TOTALS FOR TODAY AND TONIGHT ARE FORECAST TO RANGE FROM 3 TO 6 INCHES ACROSS FAR SOUTHERN MINNESOTA NEAR THE IOWA BORDER. SOME LIGHT ICE ACCUMULATION WILL BE POSSIBLE MAKING TRAVEL ESPECIALLY HAZARDOUS IN THIS AREA. AROUND 10 INCHES OF SNOW IS FORECAST FROM REDWOOD FALLS THROUGH THE TWIN CITIES TO EAU CLAIRE. SHOULD SLEET TAKE LONGER TO MOVE IN...SNOW AMOUNTS COULD EXCEED 10 OR EVEN 12 INCHES. ABOUT A FOOT OF SNOW IS EXPECTED FROM WILLMAR THROUGH MORA AND CAMBRIDGE...ON EAST TO LADYSMITH. 9 TO 12 INCHES OF SNOW IS FORECAST FOR THE MORRIS...ALEXANDRIA AND LITTLE FALLS AREAS. A RUMBLE OF THUNDER IS NOT OUT OF THE QUESTION FROM FAIRMONT TO THE TWIN CITIES TO RED WING LATE THIS AFTERNOON AND EARLY THIS
EVENING.

ANOTHER ASPECT OF THIS WINTER STORM WILL BE GUSTY WINDS. WINDS
WILL RANGE FROM 15 TO 20 MPH WITH GUSTS TO AROUND 30 MPH FROM THE
EAST OR EAST-SOUTHEAST TODAY AND THIS EVENING. WINDS WILL SHIFT
TO THE NORTH AND NORTHWEST TONIGHT AND CONTINUE FOR MUCH OF THE DAY ON SUNDAY. THIS WILL CAUSE SOME BLOWING AND DRIFTING SNOW ALONG WITH REDUCED VISIBILITY.

INTENSE SNOWFALL WILL LEAD TO REDUCED VISIBILITY AND RAPID
ACCUMULATIONS CAUSING HAZARDOUS OR IMPOSSIBLE TRAVEL CONDITIONS. AREAS WHERE SNOW TURNS TO SLEET AND FREEZING RAIN WILL BE ESPECIALLY HAZARDOUS DUE TO POTENTIAL ICE ACCUMULATIONS.

Interesting. It seems as if the NWS finally chipped out for some punctuation lessons for its meterologists, but that they're not wholly sticking.

And, yes, at 9:43 am CST, it's already snowing. Good times! Good Times!

Now you'll excuse me while I go and make sure the snowblower will start up. Keep your fingers crossed.