Inheriting More Than Just the Wind

You know, sometimes I just don't get people.

It's one thing to look at the actions of someone like, say, Pol Pot or Hitler or Stalin and to realize that you're never going to wrap your head around their actions; that what they've done is just so beyond the pale of normal moral human behavior that there is no possible way to understand it. So you hold these things in your memory as an example of the extraordinary, so that when another totalitarian, genocidal madman takes charge in another part of the world, you'll at least have some yardstick to measure their behavior.

But for everyday, average immorality by people you thought you knew? How, precisely, do you measure that? What sort of yardstick do you use? Can you compare them to a criminal written up in the newspaper? Is their crime better or worse than some random individual you don't know? Can you judge them the same? Should you?

I don't know.

The problem is this: there's an estate at stake---and it belongs to the husband's grandfather. Grandpa's estate now includes Grandma's estate, because she passed on earlier this year. This estate might be substantial, but we have no way of knowing---and we, meaning the husband and myself, don't really care. It's none of our business. In any case, it's probably less substantial than certain potential beneficiaries think it is, just because they've had their whole lives to work it up in their minds. They seem to be of the opinion they'll have it made in the shade when they receive their inheritance, but the reality is that they probably won't. There will be a windfall, yes, but it won't be what they think it will be. Grandpa is ill, and is now being moved to a long-term care facility, because he can no longer care for himself. Grandpa has been ill for some time and hasn't been himself since Grandma died in April. His colon cancer has reappeared, and he's refused treatment. He also has a very bad case of aspergillus, which is a fungal infection that affects his breathing. The doctors gave him six months to live in January. We've known for a long time that the vultures, aka certain potential beneficiaries of the estate, have moved in and are circling. Given their behavior, you would have to be extremely naive to think otherwise. They've tried to manipulate an eldery, ill man, who just lost his wife of sixty years, who has been fortunate that at least some of his family is looking out for his best interests and have thwarted these manuevers.

What's surprising us today---if such a thing is possible, given the circumstances---is that, if everything is as it seems, the vultures might have already moved in to feast on a still-living Grandpa.

There was an emergency this week that required Grandpa to be hospitalized and the in-laws drove over from their residence in Texas to be with him. In the course of their visit, the father-in-law came across a piece of paper in Grandpa's house with Grandpa's signature on every line, like someone was practicing how to forge it, the forgery getting better and more "legitimate" with every line. The first question that comes to mind when confronted with this is, "why would they need to do this?" Is the electricity on the verge of being shut off because Grandpa forgot to pay the bill and a check needs to be written because he's too weak to do it? Nope. Grandpa, even in his debilitated state, would rather die than let an electric bill go unpaid, hence he's set it up so that the mother-in-law has durable power of attorney and she pays the bills when she visits, which is often. It's pretty obvious that Grandpa wouldn't bother practicing his signature, either, even if he feels he might be "losing himself" and would try to regain that by the simple act of signing his name over and over again---he's simply not the type for that kind of rumination; it would never occur to him. There's only one possible, and reasonable, conclusion one could come to: that someone was getting ready to commit fraud.

Since Grandpa has very few visitors, there are two potential suspects in this potential caper. One, however, is too lazy to plan anything of the sort, let alone actually muster the will to follow through---they'd rather play golf. The other stands out because they've gotten very greedy in recent months; they've borrowed things, like trucks, and then didn't return them; but, mostly, it's that they're desperate for money. They're always desperate for money, and they have a spouse whose family has committed a lot of unseemly, and criminal, actions. This person isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, so it's not surprising that they'd leave the sheet there, for all and sundry to see, making the very stupid assumption that people always practice their own signature, many times, on a single sheet of paper and leave it lying around their house. Really. This would be a perfectly rational conclusion for this person. They're a dolt, and thankfully, that works in our favor. There have been other indicators, but this is the first piece of potentially damning evidence that would seem to point to the potential planning of outright fraud on the behalf of this individual. There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this sheet of paper, but I doubt it.

The person I'm referring to here, to put it bluntly, is a ghoul, and that's been clear for a very long time. But it's up in the air as to whether or not they have committed fraud. Nothing seems out of place, so it seems as if the in-laws might have been tipped off before anything actually happened, but we're not sure about that. Nonetheless, defensive manuevers are being taken as I write this. What's surprising is that we always knew that it was going to be a free-for-all when the grandparents passed, we just didn't think it was going to start before that time and that someone might commit fraud to get a leg up on the competition.

I just don't get these people. I really don't. They have acted for a very long time as if they are due something. In every aspect of their life, it is about what is due to them, just for the fine act of breathing the air, rather than what they can contribute. They're takers. And now it's possible that they're trying to take even more than what they were due. Just because they think they're due.

My family has never been big on inheritances. There was nothing when my grandparents died, other than treasured keepsakes---and very few of those, to be sure. There will be nothing when my parents die because my mother, who fully realizes she's not immortal, is making a concerted effort to give everything away before they pass on, because they don't want anyone fighting over their stuff when they do pass on. We've put our names on the bottom of the furniture that we want, because she's asked us to, so that we'll get it when that unhappy event comes to pass. It is my mother's dearest wish that her children not turn into a pack of dogs, fighting over the scraps, when she goes, so she's doing her best to make sure that doesn't happen. She's seen this happen before, with people she's known, so she's doing her best to short circuit it ever happening. Given this, I just don't get the whole inheritance thing. I really don't. I have to think that I'll be like my mother when my time comes. But it's apparent that not everyone is like that. They want their children and grandchildren to inherit the proceeds of their lifetime's work. I suppose that's fine, but why would you do that when it's readily apparent that it'll never be enough for those people? That they will simply not appreciate whatever you give them and that they'll always want more.

Jeez. I just re-read this entry and it all seems so much worse when it's written out. {insert shudder here} It's one thing to shake your head when the latest story of ghoulish, yet harmless, behavior is repeated to you, but it's completely another when it appears that one of those ghouls might have crossed the line in a big and bad way.

I'd appreciate it if, you've had a similar situation in your extended relations, you could pass along any helpful hints for dealing with this sort of thing that we might not have thought of. I don't think anyone's planning on calling the police until there's certain evidence of fraud, and even then they might not do it because it's something you'd prefer not to advertise to the world. I don't know. I can only guess at what I would do in such a circumstance, and that would not be what my in-laws would do. But if you've got any helpful information you'd like to pass along, we'd be happy to receive it.

Posted by Kathy at October 28, 2007 02:42 PM | TrackBack