Happy Holidays!

Well, here we are again, my devoted Cake Eater readers. Another year has passed, and in time-honored holiday fashion, I'm going to post everyone's favorite photo of me...

...if for no other reason than my hair was longer in this photo than it is now. Perhaps if I have enough spiked egg nog tonight, I'll let the husband take a photo of me and I'll post it for comparison purposes. But only if I have enough spiked egg nog. We'll just have to see how things on that front progress.

My hair aside, I realized earlier this month that I really didn't need any Christmas presents because I'd received a pretty big present this year, in the form of my survival from ovarian cancer. Whenever anyone asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I honestly couldn't come up with anything to tell them. And while my reply frustrated the Cake Eater Mom, I'm fine with it. I want for nothing. I've got my life, and my health, and that's all that really matters. While my survival required some rather large sacrifices, we're coming to terms with the situation. We're not healed yet, but, just like everything else, I have faith that we'll get there. Someday. That's enough for now.

I have so many blessings in my life. I have my fabulous family, who really stepped up this year to keep me buoyed up during my incarceration in the hospital and at home, afterwards, and during my treatments. We've had illness and adversity in our family before. We're no different than any other family in that regard. Yet, as the first of our immediate family to be diagnosed with cancer---a disease that has done a number already on our extended family---I know I scared the shit out of them. I'm so sorry I scared them. I couldn't really help it, but I'm sorry nonetheless. Instead of running away, like some of my real-world friends did, however, they all stepped up and did what they could to help, even if that was just sending the occasional e-mail telling me that they were thinking of me. That's no small thing. I'm thankful for them. I am also thankful for my in-laws who, despite having their own massive battles to fight this year, took the time, of which they didn't have much, to help out in their own way.

I also have my fantastic friends. My real-life friends, like Mr. H. and ML and the Doctor, just to name a few, have been there with incredible amounts of support, Louis Vuitton scarves, friendship, and much-needed laughter. They're incredible people and I'm truly blessed to have them in my life. I also have my online friends, people like Chrissy, who sent marvelous pick-me-up presents and emails, but who also made and shipped a SHITLOAD of gooey cakes to help out with my nephew James' JDRF fundraising efforts and never got a proper 'thank you' note from moi for her efforts, but who, somehow, doesn't think bad manners are a reason for cutting off friendship. For that I'm REALLY grateful, because she's truly an extraordinary person and I'm grateful for her presence in my life. I'm also grateful for the Llamas for their friendship. Steve-o kept up with the usual harassment, which made it feel much like things were still the same, and for Robbo in particular (and who just sent me the sweetest Christmas note, which completely made me blubber.) for plenty of things, but mostly for making me laugh like nothing else had in a long while with his "chemo pr0n" comment when I posted this picture. A certain "Just Me," with whom most of us are familiar, has also been a rock, and who graciously allowed me to make something useful out of all the knowledge I gained from my hysterectomy. Surprisingly, despite the fact I'm full of shit, she even took some of my advice and, in the process, made me feel useful for the first time in a long time.Phoenix, Cal Tech Girl, Eric, Zonker, Mitch , RP, and SO many others that I'm undoubtedly forgetting to mention, have also been just fantastic. But, last but not least, I cannot forget my devoted Cake Eater readers from Winterset, Russ and his wife, the Lovely Janis, who sent not only many, many emails of friendship and support, but who also sent a sleeve of cups from Kelly's, which I've been meaning to blog about, but haven't quite gotten around to doing yet. The internet truly does make the world a small place, but it makes my world so much bigger and richer because of the people I've been fortunate to meet through it.

And, finally, I have my incredible husband, who has been such a gift this year, that I really cannot express how grateful I am for him. I married a good man. I've written before that he's a wonder, and that I'm grateful for the knowledge of him, but really, kids, he's gone so far beyond and above the call of duty this year, that, well, I get all weepy thinking about him and all he's done for me for no other reason than that he loves me. I feel humbled and undeserving of his love and devotion. I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

And now, because I have other things I have to do this Christmas Eve Day, I will wrap this post up with a golden oldie recommendation for tonight. I wrote this little bit way back in 2003, during my very first Cake Eater Christmas, and I've always been particularly proud of it, unlike most of my writing. I always struggle to get things right, and usually after I post something, I think of a million ways I could have gotten something across better. This is one of the few instances where I think I got it just right the first time around:

Make the time tonight, between glasses of wine and obnoxious relatives, to go outside. Enjoy the peace and quiet, albeit temporary. Enjoy the cold for a few minutes. Breathe deeply and, for a brief moment, enjoy the icicles forming in your lungs. Shiver copiously. And then look up at the night sky, and if Rudolph's honker isn't too distracting, gaze at the stars.

Then, think of a young couple who on this night, roughly two thousand years ago, gave everything over to their faith and a God who demanded difficult things of them to fulfill His will. Know that they submitted without hesitation. Think of the gift they gave us this night and know that they gazed at the same stars you're looking at.

And know that the world is a wondrous place.

Merry Christmas, my devoted Cake Eater readers.

UPDATE: I'm also incredibly thankful for YouTube.

And Linus.

Posted by Kathy at December 24, 2007 12:30 PM | TrackBack