Cake Eater Chronicles

We Got Your Cheap Thrills Right Here

Well, no sooner do I get home from Christmas vacation than it becomes all too apparent that I spend little or no time with children on a regular basis.

In other words one of my darling nieces or nephews got me sick.

Chest cold has morphed into a horrible sore throat and a head cold. Don't ask me why it went backwards, but it did. It's been quite the fortnight for the husband and myself as far as illness is concerned: he had a cold last week; he got a stomach bug earlier this week when we were in Omaha and I now have a cold. We can usually go all winter without seeing this much illness action. Alas, however, this winter is different as we're trying hard to have a life. It's a toss up, you know. You can either sign up for the patented Hermit Defense System (TM) and never get out and about. Or you can get out and about and pay the price for it.

Have no fear, my devoted Cake Eater readers, for I have goodies for you and I shall unload them right now whilst I'm feeling particularly alert.

• Leon Spinks, who beat Muhammed Ali and is now working as a janitor at the Columbus, Nebraska YMCA for $5.15/hr. and fighting off dementia and all other assorted ills tells you "it ain't what you do, it's how you do it."
• 0 to 60 in 2.5 seconds, 1001 horsepower, to bury the needle you have to go 253 mph, and it smokes its maker's grand prix model.

  Have I mentioned that you can actually purchase this fine automobile?

  If you have the means---one point two million before taxes---I highly recommend picking one up.

• Sheila---the lucky wench---got to see Notorious on the big screen. (I'm green with envy)
• Have I mentioned that I'm a grandma?--- a blog grandma.
• This game had some of the worst officiating I've ever seen.
• In one of my very few examples of follow-up, via this post from St. Patrick's Day it turns out Fausta was right when she postulated that The Manolo is Day By Day Jan's super fantastic papa.

  See here, here and here and tell me she's not right.

And there's your cheap thrills for the day, babycakes.

Sooper Sekrit Message Regarding I-80 and Football

Two things for rabid commenter, and all around Cake Eater Fan, Russ from Winterset:

1. The husband and I looked south yesterday when we passed the sign demarcating the beginning of Madison County, IA, as if just by glancing to the southeast we could catch a glimpse of the MASSIVE Winterset skyline. We thought of you. Briefly. And then we kept going.

Sorry about that. Our bad.

2. When the hell is Iowa State playing? I'm too lazy to go looking and I know you'll know.

Are You Still Here?

I simply cannot believe y'all stuck around this long without any fresh content.

Either I'm really pathetic. Or....{insert drumroll here} you, my devoted Cake Eater readers, are pathetic.

And, really, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, do we really want to go there?

On either count.

I think not.

I'm freakin' exhausted right now, but blogging will resume shortly.

Like later in the day.

Cheap thrills will be available for all and sundry at that time.

In the meantime, I'm going to go and load some eggnog up with cheap brandy.

Cheers!

Merry Christmas, Everybody!

{ed. This post will stay at the top until the 25th}

I shall leave you, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, with my smiling seven-year-old face to warm your heart with holiday cheer.

Yes, that's me. I already know I look like a boy, so you needn't tell me.

Anyway...we're on the road today, and I have a feeling the next couple of days will be inordinately busy so blogging will be light, if not non-existent, and I wanted to catch you, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, while you're still stuck at the office, but before you get drunk. I know you're just waiting to be let loose on that vat of spiked eggnog that's sitting out by reception for the office Holiday party. I realize the siren song of the nog is tough to resist, so I will keep the holiday greetings short and sweet.

Ahem.

A very Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Cheery Saturnalia, Wonderful Winter Solstice, Krazy Kwanzaa, etc., to you, my devoted Cake Eater readers.

It's Like Christmas Came Early!

Well, maybe you'll only laugh if you're from Minnesota, but I find this just freakin' hysterical.

Dealing a stunning blow to Gov. Tim Pawlenty and the Legislature, a Ramsey County judge Tuesday struck down a tobacco fee that promised to raise $401 million over the next two years for the state.

Ramsey County District Judge Michael Fetsch ruled that the fee of 75 cents per pack violated a settlement between the government and tobacco companies that barred the state from seeking additional money from the firms to pay for health care costs related to smoking.

The ruling could jeopardize the comfortable budget surplus that the state has been counting on and pose a major embarrassment to Pawlenty and legislative incumbents just in time for a critical election year.{...}

Now that's funny. The part that's not so funny is this:

"We are very disappointed by the court's ruling and will ask for an immediate appeal directly to the Minnesota Supreme Court," Pawlenty said in a statement. He also is considering "using existing administrative authority" to apply the fee at retail outlets.{...}

{my emphasis}

Did you get that? Pawlenty wants to keep collecting the tax while he appeals it---even though it's not really clear that he can appeal it due to the terms of the settlement---and is considering using administrative authority to apply the tax fee. It's apparently so important to the Governor to keep collecting this tax fee that he's willing to violate the state's consitution to do so.

Can you say "illegal" boys and girls? The better question is can Governor Pawlenty say it?

I agree with Doug and David---it would be much better for Pawlenty in the long run to just drop this stupid tax fee and move on. There is another way to find $400 million dollars to balance the budget: it's called reduced spending. The guv didn't even have to cut spending. He just had to reduce it---you know, spend a little less than normal and he would never have had to start up this tax health impact fee business to begin with.

Pawlenty, in an effort to not piss people off, has pretty much pissed everyone off. There's a life lesson in all of this, if you're willing to look for it.

It's Just Like High Fidelity, Only With Five More

Dearest Jonathan wants to know about our Top Ten Movies.

Twist my arm.

1. Casablanca I can't add anything remotely interesting to the discussion regarding this film. It simply is the best movie ever made and if you have issues with that, well, you're a nutter. Sorry, but you'll just have to live with your diagnosis.

2. Raiders of the Lost Ark How can you not love this movie? It is, yet again, proof that Lucas can come up with the story, but it's best left to the professionals, namely Lawrence Kasdan and Stephen Spielberg, to tell it. And boy can they tell a good story!

3. Rear Window Back when I was in eighth grade, this was one of five Hitchcock films---Rope, The Man Who Knew Too Much, The Trouble with Harry and Vertigo---- that were re-released to movie theaters. This was the first Hitchcock film I ever saw and it will always be my favorite. I still want to be Grace Kelly when I grow up (and, more importantly, I want her clothes from that movie!).

This, of course, says nothing about how wonderful this film is in its own right.

4. Godfather II: You'll have noticed that The Godfather wasn't on this list. My, what sharp little eyes you've got. There's a reason and I can give it to you in one word, two syllables: De Niro.

5. The English Patient: I love this book and I love this movie. Although, it's not because of my well documented Colin Firth crush. No, I love this movie because of Ralph Fiennes eyes, Juliette Binoche's smile and Naveen Andrew's calm ("Comma.") I love the book because Ondaatje's one of the true masters of bringing a memory to life. You can smell a scene when he's done with it, and he's never tiresome in his description---which is a problem I have with much of literary fiction. Anthony Minghella brought this book to life---and it's wonderful.

6. It Happened One Night: If you've ever wondered what it is about Clark Gable that, once upon a time, drove women mad, this is the film to watch. Trust me on this one.

7. Grand Illusion: Most people won't be familiar with this movie, because not only is it old, but it's foreign. It's a masterwork of director Jean Renoir and it's well worth seeing.

8. Bridge Over the River Kwai and

9. Lawrence of Arabia

Oh, dear. I had a hard time narrowing it down which David Lean films are my favorites, because, quite frankly, I love this man's movies. First and foremost, I love how they look. I love how you get a sense of magisterial scope with Lean's films, but how the background never seems too unwieldy for the character's to manage, even when it is. All that breathtaking scenery that the characters seem impervious to, it's like it's a reminder to look around and see what sort of magisterial scope there is to your own surroundings. Second, these two films had the most memorable acting jobs. Alec Guinness especially, in Bridge Over the River Kwai was incredible, as was Peter O'Toole in Lawrence: they held up to the scenery.

I could go on, but I think we can move along.

10. L.A. Confidential: What's not to like about this movie? The story is incredible. The acting is phenomenal, particularly from Kim Basinger. Who knew? Surely 9 1/2 Weeks never tipped anyone off to her talents. Russell Crowe's Bud White strains at the leash; Guy Pearce's Ed Exley is so icily ambitious and controlled until he isn't, but James Cromwell's Dudley Smith, well, he takes the cake with that Irish accent and his casual acceptance of corruption.

Ahhhh....now that's a movie.

And Now A Word From My Sister

Hello all,

This is Christi, the Cake Eater Sister. I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday season and you are not going too crazy getting ready. On that note, I just wanted you to know that I will be very busy in the next few days cleaning and baking for my sister, Kathy the Cake Eater. You see, she and the Cake Eater husband will be coming to stay with us for Christmas. There is much to get ready, since I have put off any cleaning for over three weeks. I just won't have the time to read this blog. So, Kathy, don't blog about anything exciting, as I don't want to miss much.

We are very excited to have the Cake Eaters to visit. It is not often that they are able to travel and we are so happy they chose to stay at our humble abode. We'll see how happy they are when the children wake them up nice and early on Christmas morning!

Merry Christmas!

The Last Straw

In Germany, apparently, when you're sentenced to life in prison for killing a US Navy diver and hijacking a TWA jet, you get out of prison after almost nineteen years.

Then you get to get on a plane and leave the country. Where you can then disappear.

BEIRUT, Lebanon - A Lebanese man serving a life sentence in Germany for the 1985 hijacking of a TWA jetliner and killing of a U.S. Navy diver has returned to Lebanon after being paroled in Germany, security and guerrilla officials said Tuesday.

Mohammed Ali Hamadi arrived in Beirut four days ago on a commercial flight from Germany, a Lebanese security official and a Hezbollah guerrilla group said on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak to the media.

It was not known where Hamadi, who spent 19 years in prison, went after entering Lebanon.

The U.S. Embassy in Beirut refused to comment on Hamadi's release or whether the United States will pursue his arrest. The slain diver's brother called the parole "absolutely disturbing."{...}

{my emphasis}

Oh, and there's this little bit that gets the eyebrows to rising:

{...}German Foreign Ministry spokesman Martin Jaeger said there was no connection between Hamadi's release and the recent freeing of former hostage Susanne Osthoff, a German woman released over the weekend after spending more than three weeks as a captive in Iraq.{...}

Hamadi was released last Friday. Ostoff was released by her captors in Iraq over the weekend. He was allowed to leave the country, which is pretty unusual in any parole situation, no matter what country you're in.

You can draw your own conclusions.

Thanks Germany!

Exporting Democracy

And they said it couldn't be done! They said, "gee, those people don't have any historical experience with democracy; they won't know what to do with it. Should we really try and impose our western values on them?"

And the answer is, "Yep."

WASHINGTON - As the political battle intensifies over President Bush's efforts to spread democracy to Iraq and the Middle East, an influential human rights organization, Freedom House, has found that the past year brought significant improvements in personal and political rights across the region.

Reports of increased freedom emerged from Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and the Palestinian territories, and observers attributed the results to the Bush administration's support of fledgling democracies worldwide.

The findings were released yesterday as part of Freedom House's Freedom in the World 2006 report, a global survey of political rights and civil liberties published annually by the organization since 1972. The report evaluates countries based largely on criteria drawn from the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and rates countries under the categories "political rights" and "civil liberties" on a scale of 1 to 7, with 1 indicating the greatest level of freedom.

This year's Freedom in the World based its evaluations on events that took place between December 1, 2004, and November 30. During that time, according to the study, the number of electoral democracies increased from 119 to 122, the most in the report's 33-year history.

In the Middle East, the sweep of successful democratic elections was the decisive factor in improving the region's ratings, Freedom House's research director and a co-editor of Freedom in the World, Arch Puddington, said yesterday.

The most significant change, Mr. Puddington said, took place in Lebanon. Freedom House uses countries' numerical ratings to divide nations into three categories: "free," "partly free," and "not free." This year, Lebanon transitioned from "not free" to "partly free," largely owing to its "Cedar Revolution" in February and March, Mr. Puddington said.{...}

Go read the whole thing.

{Hat Tip: Fausta}

If You Do Get It

You won't get this:

How can you tell your wife that you are popping out to play a match, and then not come home for five days?
Rafael Benitez, Liverpool's football manager - bewildered by cricket

Amen, brother!

One of these days I will get cricket. Until then, I remain bewildered and have occasion to wonder why they take breaks for tea.

More fun quotes here.

{Hat tip: Tim Worstall via Robbo}

Christmas Goodies

For Ith

Millionaire's Shortbread

Makes about three dozen squares or six dozen triangles

1 1/2 cups butter (three sticks), softened and divided
2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 white rice flour*
1/2 cup granulated sugar
Cooking spray for baking
1 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate morsels

In a large bowl mix 1 cup butter, flours, and granulated sugar with a fork until crumbly (like you would a pie crust). Press mixture int a 15-x-10 inch jelly roll pan coated with cooking spray for baking.

Bake at 350 for 18-20 minutes or until light golden brown.

Stir together remaining 1/2cup butter, condensed milk and corn syrup in a 2-quart saucepan over low heat 4 minutes or until butter is melted and mixture is blended. Add brown sugar and cook, stirring constantly, 25 to 30 minutes or until caramel colored and thickened. Pour evenly over baked cookie in pan and spread into an even layer. Chill 30 minutes or until caramel layer is set.

Microwave morsels in a small glass bowl at high 1 minute or until almost melted. Stir until smooth. Spread over caramel layer in pan. (The chocolate layer will be very thin.) Chill 15 minutes or until chocolate is firm. Cut into 2 inch squares; if desired, cut each square into 2 triangles.

*3/4 cup all-purpose flour may be substituted.

I would highly recommend cutting the squares into triangles---the squares would be too much.

Adjust Your Blogrolls Accordingly

The Crack Young Staff of the Hatemonger's Quarterly, we'll just call him "Chip," for the time being, has a new address.

A moo knew address.

Just Like Dr. Zhivago. Without Wolves and Nasty Communists, Though.

We have a full moon tonight. Well, maybe not a full moon, but just past the full moon. It think the astronomical term is "waning gibbous," meaning it's getting smaller rather than larger. Obviously this means it's finally clear outside because I can see the moon. For those of you lucky enough to be on an island in French Polynesia right now (Hello, my lone and devoted Cake Eater Reader out there in the middle of the Pacific. Have a Mai Tai for me. Please.) and may not be familiar with how it works here in the Great White North, when the clouds disappear, it gets quite cold. The way it was explained to me is that the clouds act as insulation, keeping the warm air in and the cold air in Canada. So, since it's clear outside, this, of course, means it's cold outside, too.

As in three degrees Fahrenheit.

Since our landscape is quite white right now, it's cold and there's a full moon, well, I'm reminded of Dr. Zhivago, when Omar Sharif's Yuri has brought Lara Antipova and Katya to Varikyno, to hide from the Reds.

That snowbound palace is something quite wonderful to behold. Derelict, unloved, everything is covered with snow and ice and looks like it's been frosted by the most creative and utterly mad of cake decorators. You can almost feel the nervousness they experience when they break through the boarded up main door to try and find a place to hide and finally lay eyes on the place, wondering if it will be suitable. Everything is covered in ice. It looks grand, like the ice was sprayed as the main decoration for a party, and you can almost feel their wonder and awe at how things look. Except they know they cannot stay in those rooms; they're uninhabitable. They find the two rooms unaffected by the ice palace, where they can stay warm. This is where Yuri writes his Lara poems and where they live waiting to be discovered.

I digress, as usual, but getting back to the point...it's nights like this, when the bare trees cast the most spartan shadows in the moonlight, onto the white snow that I think of Dr. Zhivago, and the scene where Yuri hears the wolves on the front lawn. He makes his way to the verandah and instead of clapping or shouting or whatever you expect him to do with the wolves gathered on his front lawn, he hisses loudly while flapping his arms once, sharply. The wolves whimper and run away. Yuri goes back into the house and settles down to write some poetry.

When I look out onto the front lawn, I see the moonlight, the dark sky, the stars, the shadows the tree branches make across the ethereally glowing snow...and I wonder when the wolves will show up. They're all that's missing from the scene.

Well, them and a massive Siberian retreat with onion domes and icy furniture, but, really, who's counting?

Random Bits of Cake Eater Goodness

A random sample of things that are currently happening in my life/going through my brain:

• Memo to Mother Nature: you can quit with the snow, already. We've got enough, ok? I'd like to see the sun again.
• Speaking of sun, I cannot wait for December 21st to arrive. Why, you ask, can I not wait for the beginning of winter, when it goes against everything you know about me and my attitude toward that beastly season? Well, it's quite simple: winter may, technically speaking, begin on December 21st, but that day is also nature's starting point for the days to start getting longer. Meaning more daylight is in the offing after December 21st, not less. Currently the sun goes down around 4:25 p.m. CST. That's just way too damn early. I need more sunlight in my life, and that will turn around after the Winter Solstice occurs.
• We inadvertently hurt our new landlord's feelings by shoveling.

  For the six winters we've lived here, we've been in charge of snow removal. The Great White Hunter ex-landlord had a clause in the lease that shifted the responsibility of snow removal from him and Tweedledumb to his tenants. This wasn't a problem. We brought a snowblower with us when we moved here. As such, we've always pretty much taken care of snow removal---it's habit by now.

  But we've got a new landlord this winter. We had our first significant snow the day after Thanksgiving, when the landlord was out of town. The snow needed to be shoveled so we took care of it. No big deal. The habit started right back up again. Then it snowed again, and again, the husband took care of it. No big deal. Then it started up again on Tuesday night. By the same time Wednesday evening, we'd received six inches and had snowblowed twice (our snowblower is pretty small and it doesn't handle large amounts well). During the first round of snowblowing, first thing Wedsnesday morning, the landlord came out and told the husband that he was sorry he wasn't able to get to the shoveling right off the bat, but that he would get to it. The husband explained that it wasn't a comment on the landlord's abilities, per se, but rather habit, that he was more than happy to help out.

  I don't think the landlord bought it, however.

  We've had this light, sparse snow falling since Thursday morning. Slowly but surely it's been adding up. The husband snowblowed again yesterday afternoon, but, again, it's been adding up and there was more to take care of this morning---and this time the landlord was all over it.

  I don't want to fight his assumptions about his state of landlord worthiness over this. He's the best landlord we've ever had. Which, if you're a longtime reader of the Cake Eater Chronicles, you will know isn't saying much, since our standards of good lanlordom are LOW, but still, it's nice to know when you complain, your complaint will actually be heard the first time, instead of being ignored until you can't be ignored anymore, (i.e. sewers that have backed up; ice dams on the roof which lead to water coming down the walls, etc.). Our new landlord listens to our complaints. He wants to help when we have problems. That's refreshing. He's a good landlord. Hopefully the christmas present I'm planning will combat this, snow removal habits aside.

• I am in willful denial that Christmas is next week. It ain't. It's, technically speaking, two weeks away because Christmas is on a Sunday and Sunday is the beginning of another week, so it's two weeks away. So there. And don't try to tell me any different.
• I started a new workout plan last week so that I'm ahead of my New Year's regrets.
• We got two tins full of cookies from the obnoxious Cake Eater neighbor's nice wife. It's less than last year (no Chex mix, no caramel coated puffy stuff, no toffee), and nonetheless is a nice gesture and represents a lot of effort on her part....yet...it still grates on the nerves because a. she got the flippin' idea from me and b. she's stolen half my recipes! I have decided to get down and dirty and take the low road this year---I have decided to shake things up a bit. I'm adding date nut pinwheels to my repertoire, as well as homemade caramels and this fabulous caramel and chocolate layered shortbread. We shall see who wins when it's all said and done with.

  Hmmph.

And that's enough for now, my devoted Cake Eater Readers.

Obscene Profits Indeed

We have a fascinating article in this week's Forbes on Vivid Entertainment, which is one of the Southern California pr0n making giants. While Vivid makes a pretty penny on its products, it's the distribution of pr0n that's really a license to print money:

{...}Vivid's distributors played no role in making Sunny but will reap much of the upside: sales of, say, 20,000 DVDs at $12 to $15 a pop wholesale (distributed by Hustler publisher Larry Flynt's network) and sold for $30 to $40 at retail; up to $1.5 million in revenue for pay-per-view on cable systems and on DirecTV (each of which typically pockets up to a 90% cut); and several hundred thousand dollars more from viewings in hotel rooms (which is why, on the Sunny set the other day, a second, soft-core camera simultaneously shot the same nude scenes from the waist up).

At some point the new film will air on a Playboy-owned channel. Hugh Hefner's company paid Vivid $70 million in 2001 to acquire the Spice networks, hard-core pay channels that Playboy now programs with Vivid's explicit movies. Also, Vivid will resell Sunny in compilation DVDs as her library of performances builds. It also sells phone-sex ads that appear at the start of each DVD (spots that, it turns out, are impossible to skip). And it will add Sunny to the offerings on its Web site, vivid.com, with tens of thousands of subscribers paying $30 a month for access and unlimited streaming video, Hirsch says.

Vivid also hopes to begin beaming out cell phone videos in the U.S. in the next few months and to keep a much bigger share of the loot than the meager 10% it gets from the cable industry.

"The numbers on our cell phone business are just phenomenal,"Asher says--already at $10 million (in retail) a year in Europe. {...}

You always knew there was money to be made in pr0n, didn't you,you just didn't know how much?

Go read the whole thing.

I Believe It Was Freud Who Said...

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

On the same wavelength as Jeff's post, but not so much that I'm going to toil and try to tie them together---I leave that to you, my devoted Cake Eater readers---Morgan Freeman has said some interesting things in a 60 Minutes interview that will air Sunday:

Morgan Freeman says the concept of a month dedicated to black history is "ridiculous." "You're going to relegate my history to a month?" {...}"I don't want a black history month. Black history is American history."

{...}Freeman notes there is no "white history month," and says the only way to get rid of racism is to "stop talking about it."

The actor says he believes the labels "black" and "white" are an obstacle to beating racism.

"I am going to stop calling you a white man and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man," Freeman says.{...}

I can't wait to watch and see Mike Wallace lose it. That'll be worth whatever CBS' share of the DirecTV's bill actually is---which, if you do the math and take into consideration that we have 300+ channels with DirecTV, is somewhere around $0.20 per month.

Which is totally fair market value to see Mike Wallace sputter incoherently, if you ask me. I wouldn't pay a dime more.

Just Call Me Cho Chang

{Hat Tip: Cal Tech Girl}

Silly Germans!

Ever heard of someone being so stupid they actually fell for an exorcism con?

You have now.

This is The Part Where My Former Russian Teacher Laughs Her Ass Off

Is there one of you, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, who reads Russian and can tell me why I'm, apparently, getting a fair number of hits from this site?

I'm completely serious, too.

There's a four credit 'F' in Russian 101 on my college transcript for a reason, kids.

Don't Tell Anyone...

...but I think I just found the Cake Eater Mother's Christmas present!

She'd seriously dig being able to have the computer power a ciggie lighter!

Kinda makes me wish I still smoked. That's coo-el.

Your Quote of the Day

"Once you go Gorilla, well, I guess you never go back."

A Wintry Prophecy Fulfilled

This, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, is my destiny.

It looks beautiful, does it not? A lovely winter scene. It could be innocuously titled "Snow on Pine Branch," or something equally inane.

But looks can be deceiving.

That precious lump of snow that looks so pretty and reminds you of the joys of winter, will, of course, fall off the branches of the pine tree the minute I'm underneath it. And I will be underneath this tree soon because I must go out and shovel.

The snow will, of course, fall off the branch in a just-so manner, directed by God himself.

Why, you ask, will God Himself direct the way of this bit of snow?

Well...

Because, two thousand plus years ago, a prophecy was delivered to someone in the Bible whose name is escaping me right now. The prophecy fortold of a time, far into the future, in a far away land, called Cake Eater Land, where a beautiful woman, swaddled in wool and boots, would be lugging a shovel across a white yard, preparing to do battle with the snow that was falling. The woman would ultimately achieve her goal of clean sidewalks, and the Earth will be saved from a horrible fate, the prophecy foretold, but not without a great price to be paid.

"What price must be paid?" you, my devoted, and terrified, Cake Eater Readers, whisper to yourselves.

I shall tell you.

For the snow to fulfill its destiny and for me to fulfill my own greatness, the snow must hit the back of my neck, which will cause me to yelp with surprise at the cold, watery lump which will be continuing its journey---and fulfilling its purpose---by sliding down the back of my shirt.

I am hesitant and scared.

I fear the icy trickles of cold water that will soon course down my spine, causing me to shiver uncontrollably and chafe against a wet T-shirt and bra.

I wonder where I will find the courage to bundle up and meet my destiny.

Have no fear, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, I will find the courage.

I think it's in a cup of cocoa, so, if you will excuse me, I shall go and fortify myself for the journey ahead.

A Proper Rogue

Robbo's got the details.

Progress

Hot Damn!

Hennepin County commissioners have voted to partially roll back the county's nine-month-old smoking ban.

The new measure, which would exempt traditional bars from the ban, passed 4-3. Commissioner Peter McLaughlin, who had not indicated how he would vote, sided with bar owners and voted to limit the ban.

The issue, which simmered through the summer, pitted a small but vocal number of bar owners in Hennepin County against a larger cadre of anti-smoking advocates, including the well-financed Minnesota Partnership For Action Against Tobacco. Bar owners said the ban was economically crippling, particularly for bars located near Hennepin County's boundaries with counties that did not ban smoking.

But smoking ban proponents said exempting so-called traditional bars would be a step backward for the state's most populous county and would make lobbying for a statewide smoking ban more difficult.

Hennepin County was one of a handful of mostly Twin Cities local governments that adopted smoking bans in 2004 -- the county's ban actually took effect last March 31 -- and was by far the largest unit of government in Minnesota to do so. By amending the ban, Hennepin County became one of the few jurisdictions nationally to pass a smoking ban and then partially roll it back.

Tuesday's amendment would grant exemptions to bars, including in some cases those that are adjacent to -- or part of -- a food establishment.

The amendment, which will go into effect on Dec. 31, will make Hennepin's ordinance more similar to ordinances in Ramsey and Olmsted counties. Bars and private clubs with liquor sales that are more than 50 percent of their total net sales may apply for an exemption to the ordinance.

Under the newly approved amendment, all exemptions would expire July 31, 2007. {...}

I'm almost speechless that this happened. This is so contrary to what usually happens here in the People's Republic. I'm just stunned.

But there is a downside. Like Doug points out, this is only temporary, and, of course, the nannystaters will try to take the ban statewide. He's absolutely right about that. I'm also sure the Commission will also try to hassle bar and restaurant owners who file for exemption by delaying things, but still...this is progress and considering this is the home of nannystatism, I'll take what I can get for the time being.

Random Observation for the Day

Lately I've been subjected to numerous advertisements from various brokerage houses regarding 401K consolidation whilst watching the news.

These ads are, obviously, targeted toward those lovable, yet annoying, narcissists, the Baby Boomers.

Yet this got me to thinking.

You have to wonder at how really unique and interesting and intelligent this particular generation is when some marketer decides they are such chumps for nostalgia that all the effort they need to expend to get one of these said chumps to switch to Fidelity is to show a lava lamp and play the Zombie's Time of the Season in the background.

I'm sure if Fidelity were able to throw in a free doobie for every 401K rollover, they would have pulled the ads already due to overwhelming demand.

Bleech

From the National Weather Service

URGENT - WINTER WEATHER MESSAGE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE TWIN CITIES/CHANHASSEN MN 1153 AM CST TUE DEC 13 2005

SIGNIFICANT SNOW POSSIBLE FOR EASTERN MINNESOTA AND WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN LATE TONIGHT AND WEDNESDAY.

A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM OVER SOUTHERN SASKATCHEWAN WILL MOVE TO NORTHERN MINNESOTA BY LATE IN THE DAY WEDNESDAY. SNOW WILL DEVELOP IN ADVANCE OF THE LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM TONIGHT ACROSS MINNESOTA AND WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN. THE SNOW MAY BE HEAVY AT TIMES OVER FAR EASTERN AREAS OF MINNESOTA LATE TONIGHT AND EARLY WEDNESDAY.AND ACROSS WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN ON WEDNESDAY.

SNOWFALL ACCUMULATIONS OF 6 INCHES OR MORE ARE POSSIBLE TONIGHT AND WEDNESDAY...GENERALLY TO THE EAST OF A LINE FROM MANKATO...TO THE TWIN CITIES...AND MORA.

THE HIGHEST SNOWFALL RATES SHOULD OCCUR BETWEEN MIDNIGHT AND 6AM WEDNESDAY IN EASTERN MINNESOTA...AND BETWEEN 3 AM AND NOON WEDNESDAY IN WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN...AND THE GREATEST ACCUMULATION SHOULD OCCUR DURING THESE TIME FRAMES. HOWEVER...THE LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM WILL MOVE SLOWLY AND IS EXPECTED TO STALL OVER NORTHERN WISCONSIN WEDNESDAY NIGHT AND THURSDAY. THEREFORE...LIGHT SNOW WILL STILL BE LIKELY ACROSS THE AREA WEDNESDAY NIGHT AND THURSDAY...BUT AMOUNTS ARE EXPECTED TO ONLY BE BETWEEN 2 AND 4 INCHES AND NOT OF THE INTENSITY THAT IS EXPECTED FOR A SHORT TIME LATE TONIGHT AND WEDNESDAY.

Oh, how does it sucketh to live in the Great White North, let me count the ways.

Also, one wonders when a degree in meteorology is going to come replete with a lesson in punctuation.

Quote of the Day

"She is beautiful. Her mouth is amazing. I've never kissed anyone with a bigger mouth than Angelina. It's like two water beds - it's like this big kind of warm, mushy, beautiful thing."

{my emphasis}

For some strange reason I'm finding it exceedingly hard to stop laughing.

UPDATE: still chuckling

Piehole. As in "Shut It."

Iran's freely elected President is at it again:

{...}TEHRAN, Iran - Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has reiterated his doubt about the Holocaust and called on Muslim nations to take a proactive stand on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, state media reported Tuesday.

The president's comments, published on Iranian state television's Web site, were the second time in a week he has expressed doubt about the Nazi genocide of Jews during World War II. In October, Ahmadinejad also said Israel should be "wiped off the map."

"If the killing of Jews in Europe is true," the Web site quoted Ahmadinejad as saying during a speech at an Islamic conference in Tehran, "and the Zionists are being supported because of this excuse, why should the Palestinian nation pay the price?"{...}

{my emphasis}

When it comes, remember that this guy asked for it.

Strangely Satisfying

I am the 18th listing on Google for "Matt Lauer is an asshole."

It would be better if I was the number one reference for that phrase, but hell, I'm still pretty happy to be included in the club.

REALLY IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS!

Angelina Jolie's alleged lesbian lover steps forward.

Men everywhere rejoice and begin searching the internet for the video that will undoubtedly accompany this piece of glorious good news.

Have You Ever Wished...

...for more power when you were snowblowing?

Think a 912 pound, V-8 snowblower with a 454 cubic inch Chevy engine might do you?

I think that ought to satisfy your needs.

And if it doesn't, well...you've got problems, my friend.

Instead of Screaming "Save Tookie"

...perhaps the ever-growing list of idiot celebrities who want to save a murderer who has shown no remorse for the crimes which put him on death row, would find it in their interest to take a look at the case of Cory Maye.

You know, if they're really interested in social justice, fighting the man!, etc., this might be the more worthwhile cause to use their celebrity for.

And people might actually have respect for them instead of contempt.

It's just a suggestion.

Dickensian

I'm in the midst of putting up my Dickens Villages and whilst I was gazing at my Ye Olde Curiosity Shop, I remembered this post and decided you would probably want to re-read it, too, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, since you're all about doing what I'm doing, and thinking what I'm thinking.

A small sampling:

{...}But let me tell you this all you moms of the world, this year I am adding a little Dickensian realism to the strawberry shortcake mix. You see - hahahaha! - this year I have built my own addition to that Charles Dickens model village. Yes, this year I'm bringing the scale model prison hulks with me on Christmas Eve, complete with model convict figurines bound by their tiny ball and chains. And I've even created a carpet of stagnant marshy hinterland that you can roll out on the outskirts of your unsuspecting village. And there's a gallows too, crafted out of balsa wood with the rotten remains of Short-Arsed Jake the Pentonville Footpad hanging from it.

And ... oh! Who can that be hiding behind the coal shed door at Mrs Whisker's cottage? Why I do believe it's Mad Jack the Hatchet Man who has escaped from the hulks and stalks the village streets at night in search of his next victim. And who is that dark, hunchbacked figure climbing through the freshly smashed window of the bakery ....?{...}

I still stand by last year's request for a model of Bedlam.

The Grapes Just Want To Be Free!

If you're wondering what the pissed off grape-in-bondage is all about, go here.

{Hat tip: Phin}

Canned Ham

Bubba proves, once again, that he's a two-faced, spotlight hog:

MONTREAL - A contentious U.N. climate conference entered its final day Friday with the long-term future undecided in the fight against global warming, and with a surprise visitor on tap to rally the "pro-Kyoto" forces.

Bill Clinton, who as president championed the Kyoto Protocol clamping controls on "greenhouse gases," was scheduled to speak at the conference Friday afternoon — in an unofficial capacity but potentially at a critical point in backroom talks involving the U.S. delegation.

The U.S. envoys, representing a Bush administration that renounced the Kyoto pact, were said to be displeased by the 11th-hour surprise, although there was no formal protest, according to an official in the Canadian government, the conference host.

This official spoke on condition of anonymity because as a civil servant — not a politician — he is barred from the public light during Canada's current election season.

The U.S. delegation was meeting late Thursday and had no immediate public comment, said spokeswoman Susan Povenmire.

Clinton, who was invited here by the City of Montreal, will speak in the main conference hall between the official morning and afternoon plenary sessions, said U.N. conference spokesman John Hay. Despite its unofficial nature, the speech was sure to attract hundreds of delegates from the more than 180 countries represented.

A city spokesman said the ex-president will be representing the William J. Clinton Foundation, which operates the Clinton Global Initiative, a program focusing on climate change as a business opportunity.

Clinton's vice president, Al Gore, was instrumental in final negotiations on the 1997 treaty protocol initialed in the Japanese city of Kyoto. It mandates cutbacks in 35 industrialized nations of emissions of carbon dioxide and five other gases by 2012.{...}

Isn't this what the French would call a "le slap in ze face?" Why the hell isn't the US delegation protesting? This is a humongous breach in diplomatic etiquette. Former Presidents, or former leaders of any country, not just the United States, do not attend conferences or summits where their home country is already formally represented by the government which currently holds power. It confuses people; it sends the wrong message. The message Bubba's appearance in Montreal sends to the world is, "Well, never mind what the Bush administration says, there are Americans who agree with you. There's still hope for Kyoto."

But you see the thing is is that there isn't hope for Kyoto---at least as far as the United States is concerned---and Bubba knows this. After all, it's a policy that began in his administration. If Bubba had really wanted Kyoto to be ratified, he would have submitted it to the Senate for ratification and actively worked toward that end. But Bubba didn't do that. He knew Kyoto wasn't going to be ratified by the Senate when he had Al Gore sign the stupid thing, so like all legislation he couldn't automatically count on coming straight to his desk with universal acclaim, he didn't bother with it. Bush, at least, had the guts to be honest about his intentions, whereas Clinton was, once again, a gutless wonder who couldn't get a damn thing done---even on a treaty which he'd made the United States a signatory.

I am sick to 'effin death of the Bush Bashing by the climate change freaks. It's amazing: Bush has dealt honestly and fairly with them. He's told them flat-out that he is not going to submit the treaty for ratification---and it's the Senate who ratifies treaties, by the way, not the President---because he doesn't think it's fair to the United States. He could have sent the treaty up to the Senate for ratification and shifted the responsibility for its failure onto the Senate's back, but he didn't do that. He didn't believe it was a treaty the US should have signed, so the buck stopped with him. Yet, despite his lack of interest in Kyoto, Bush is interested in climate change; he's not in willful denial of it; he just doesn't think Kyoto's the way to go---he wants more options that don't lay the bill at the foot of the US economy. The climate change people should be thankful that he's at least told them the truth about US participation, and then gone forward to see what the US needed to participate. But they haven't done that. It's Kyoto or bust! Clinton was, as usual, dishonest. Not only to the American people, but to the world as well. He lied to them when he had Al Gore sign the stupid thing, knowing full well he did not intend to send the treaty to the Senate for ratification. You'd think they would be pissed to holy hell with him. But they're not. The climate change freaks, apparently, enjoy being lied to. They appreciate a honeyed, forked tongue, as opposed to one that tells the truth.

Why the US representatives at the UN conference haven't lodged a formal protest over Bubba's presence, I don't know. But I sure as hell want them to. He has no business being there. Absolutely none. And if the US representatives don't call him on it this time, he's just going to keep on showing up at these things, ultimately undermining their position and any progress they might have made. It's past time to call him on his attention seeking behavior.

UPDATE: Asshole

Wonderment

As in it's a wonder that the President of Iran, after all he suffered in world condemnation last month, apparently is such a bloody dolt he can't learn to keep his mouth shut about Israel:

{...}Speaking on a visit to the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia, he attacked Europe for prosecuting doubters of the mass killings of Jews by the Nazis during the second world war. Mr Ahmadi-Nejad's comments follow widespread international outcry after he called in October for Israel to be "wiped from the map".

"Some European countries insist on saying Hitler killed millions of innocent Jews in furnaces ... to the extent that if anyone proves something to the contrary, they ... throw him in jail," Mr Ahmadi-Nejad told a news conference. "Although we don't accept this claim, if we suppose it is true, our question for the Europeans is this: is the killing of innocent Jewish people by Hitler the reason for their support for the occupiers of Jerusalem?"

Mr Ahmadi-Nejad said Europe had supported the creation of Israel in 1947-8, when thousands of Palestinians were uprooted, as a reaction to the Nazis' killing of Jews. "If the Europeans are honest, they should give some of their provinces - like in Germany, Austria or other countries - to the Zionists... [for] a state," he said.{...}

There are times when I wonder if the Iranians voted him in as president just because they knew he'd piss off all the right people and they'd be liberated that much more quickly.

I've Got One Word For This Bozo

Waaaah.

You Know...

There are times when you forget that, Steve-o, aka Mr. Vegas, is a PhD-holdin', professor of political science.

This wouldn't be one of them.

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid!

"A Christmas Story" presented in {insert drumroll here} Bun-O-Vision

{Hat Tip: Doug, who prefers the Bunny version of "It's a Wonderful Life"}

Everyone's A Critic

Except for one guy I know who actually gets paid for that job. He seems to be a wee bit focused on how bad the Eagles are this year, rather than doing his actual job. Because if he was doing his job, we'd already have dearest Jonathan's critique of the latest Barney and Miss Beazley Christmas Video. (It's on the right hand side)

He had such valid criticism last year. But Jonathan hasn't produced a review yet and I'm just waiting with bated breath to hear what he has to say.

As far as this year's entry is concerned, well, Barney seems a wee bit edgy and I think that might have improved his performance over last year's entry. One wonders if his performance might catch the eye of the academy, but really, that's always a crap shoot, isn't it? Miss Beazley, however, doesn't really add much to the whole shebang. In fact, well, I much prefer the stuffed Miss Beazley of last year (there was a stuffed Miss Beazley last year, right? Don't tell me that was the egg nog talking. Please.) than the real one. Too much of a prima donna for my tastes.

But that's just me and my inexpert opinion. We'll have to wait and see what our friendly neighborhood pro critic, Jonathan, has to say.

The Simplest Explanation is Usually The Correct One

The Twin Cities' Gay Men's Chorus answered the phones during TPT's (Twin Cities Public Television) latest flog-a-thon and one of Frater's readers, one Ross from Burnsville, wants to know who knew what and when did they know it:

{...}Here are some questions: Did TPT disclose to its audience during the Andy Williams special that their phones were being answered by the Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus? It seems inappropriate that such a group would be answering the phones during this kind of programming. What exactly is the relationship between TPT and the Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus? Is TPT funding this group? If so, how much is TPT giving them? Would these men really be volunteers if TPT is funding them?

Well, far be it from me to point this out, Ross, but maybe, just maybe, the Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus likes to have Andy Williams programming on TPT, and they would like to show their support for such choice programming by answering phones no one else wants to answer. Perhaps they like Andy Williams just as much as your average, Burnsville residing, straight guy and his wife and that's why they were answering the phones during TPT's flog-a-thon.

The chorus' alleged love of the stylings of Andy Williams aside, I suppose they could have also been doing it for the PR, too. Because they do have products to sell and concert halls to fill. And, as we all know, things just don't sell themselves, so if the chorus had to go over to St. Paul and answer phones for a crummy two second endorsement of their products, they'll do that. Because that's usually what being a "media partner" of TPT entails---TPT gets free labor and money and everyone else gets bupkiss.

Ya think either one of those answers could possibly be right, or do we need an independent prosecutor to convene a grand jury to really get to the bottom of things?

Presented With Minimal Commentary

Lindsay Lohan's getting all, like cathartic and shit with her second album.

{...}It's not the kind of material that helped her sell more than a million copies of her first album, "Speak." But at 19, Lohan is eager to show a more adult side — and she hopes the public is ready to see it, too.

"I do still have the younger fan base and I want them to be able to relate to some lighter songs, but I want to grow with my fans, and I've been trying to do that for so long," says Lohan. "I've just grown up really fast, and I'm thankful for that."

She's not thankful, however, for some of the things that have caused her to grow up at warp speed, especially over the past few months. Chief among them were the troubles of her father, Michael Lohan. Estranged from Lindsay, her mother, Dina, and Lindsay's three younger siblings, Michael Lohan was frequently in trouble with the law over the past year, including an arrest for driving while impaired. He was sentenced in May to up to four years in prison, and the Lohans divorced.

"When I think about it, it kind of just registers to me that it was in the papers that my father's going to jail. I think about that and I'm like, wow, that's really hard," says Lohan. "People usually don't deal with that in the public eye, for whoever it may be to see."

Lohan generally stayed mum about her father in the press, but their relationship is one of the focal points of the new record. The first single, "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)," is about a daughter's abandonment by her dad, and the video, which she directed, depicts an abusive husband.

"It was really to let girls, boys, anyone that's in an abusive relationship, anyone who is going through things like that ... to put it out there that it's OK to express how you feel," says Lohan. "If I'm in the position where I can take a stand and say something important, then I'd like to do that."{...}

Lohan hopes that listeners will get as much out of listening to her record as she did making it.

"I hope people take me seriously and respect what I'm willing to put out there. People don't have to rave about it," she says. But, she adds, "I want it to touch people whatever way it will touch the people individually."

{my emphasis}

Because, like, it really sucks to have your dad thrown in jail. And I didn't talk about it because it was embarrassing and like, shit, and it seemed cooler to just, you know, keep it under wraps, until I needed a PR boost. Then it was, like, cool, to get it all out there.

And I, like, can't speak English, like, very well, either.

Just In Case You're Interested

It's supposed to get up to 17 degrees today, and if it chooses to do so, well, I might actually leave the house for the first time since Sunday.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

UPDATE: Because, after sub-zero temperatures, 17 degrees is quite balmy. I know this because I live in Minnesota, where you, too, can gain the experience to tell the difference between ten below zero and twenty below zero without looking at a thermometer.

A Gentle Reminder Correction

Let me repeat this for the umpteenth time: yes, I live in Cake Eater Land; no, I am NOT a cake eater. Look to the left on this here blog, there will be a little link in the upper left hand sidebar that rather impudently asks, "What is a Cake Eater?" Click on it and learn, children.

I am most certainly not "well-to-do." Crikeys. If I qualified for membership in the Cake Eater club, I would not have done what I did yesterday, which was to scrub the walls in my home office with Clorox Clean-Up. Why, you ask, did I scrub the walls with a bleachy cleaner? Well, I quit smoking a few months back (Do "well-to-do" people smoke nowadays? Nope. Because, supposedly, with more wealth comes the intelligence to know when you're killing yourself in the name of stress relief. They only fire up when they're stinking drunk and because, Gawd, they need something to make themselves feel alive, and smoking reminds them of when they were particularly naughty in college tha one time...) and it's been slowly dawning on me how yellow my supposedly white walls were.

If I were "well-to-do," rather than slapping on a pair of rubber gloves and hoisting a bottle of Clorox Clean-up, I would have simply wired the house with explosives and blown it up whilst watching from the other side of the street, swaddled in mink, an ice cold martini in my hand raised in honor of that master manipulator of nitroglycerin, Alfred Nobel.

But we is po', so I scrubbed the walls myself. That disqualifies me from Cake Eater Membership. I looked it up to be sure, too.

Oh, and while I'm at the correction business, Lileks lives in Minneapolis, not Edina.

Oh, The Shame of It

Doug wants to know what I consider to be the worst, most embarrassing episode in American history.

Okedokey. Here we go.

It's this.

If America had tried harder to get through to this man, and Eisenhower had pulled in the reins on this dude and his covert op wet dreams, the Shah's son would likely be on the throne in Teheran; people would be saying "Ayatollah Who?"; fifty-three American hostages would never have been taken from an American Embassy that had never been overrun by religious zealots; America would still have an embassy in Teheran; and, most importantly, Iran would now not be threatening us all with their enriched uranium whimsies.

We, America, who pride ourselves on our democracy, overthrew a democratically elected government to keep the oil flowing for the Brits and to set up a more strategic Cold War position for ourselves, with a friendly Shah, who we'd, quite kindly, restored to power. As a result of this interference in Iranian domestic affairs, that same Shah, who was never really the sharpest tool in the shed to begin with, became quite paranoid and went on to become a repressive ruler who used his security forces to terrorize his subjects into submission. It's no wonder the Iranians turned to radical Islam for answers, because they certainly weren't getting any from us.

If that's not bad or embarrassing, I don't know what is.

It's also an instructive episode for it, really and truly, shows you what the CIA is capable of when it wants to get down to brass tacks. Of course this was the pre-Church Committee CIA, but still... In other words, thou moonbattiest of moonbats, when it comes to the War Against Terror, you ain't seen nothing yet.

The Night the Lights Went Out in Harare

The electricity went out in much of Zimbabwe, just as dictator/asshole for life, Robert Mugabe was about to address the nation regarding power shortages.

When it comes to Mugabe, you couldn't make some of this stuff up if you tried.

The Universal Library

Book lovers who worry about what digitization and Google Book Search mean for the future of their beloved tomes should read this.

Image is Everything

Just ask Kathleen Blanco.

She can tell you how much more important it is to look good, rather than it is to do good.

Because looking good is what really matters in this world.

Coo-el Tool

Have you ever wanted to take panoramic photographs, but you didn't want to buy a Kodak Advantix (can you even do that anymore?) or a 70mm camera that cost thousands of dollars?

You have?

Well, it's your lucky day, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, because I have a tool for you! It's called AutoStitch and if you load a bunch of photos into it, it will stitch them into a panoramic shot.

Take a look at their gallery page to see what you can do with it.

Pearl Harbor Day

...is two days away, but it's not too early to read these fascinating accounts of where certain people were when they heard the news that Pearl Harbor had been attacked.

{hat tip: The Worldwide Standard}

On Christmas Shopping and Scandalous Harry Potter References

The husband made a funny on Saturday afternoon. It's somewhat obscene, so take the jump if you're interested.

Mom, you should not take the jump.

So, we're weird. We actually had to go to the mall on Saturday to run errands.

This being the Christmas season, we, of course, were forced to mix and mingle with more than a few lumbering, self-absorbed, ass crack-scratching idiots during our trek around the mall. By the time we were done, we were cranky and exhausted.

Have I mentioned that we've been reading the Harry Potter books lately? Well, we have. I've gotten through all of them, but the husband is currently on number five. We've both enjoyed them tremendously.

As we waited for the bus, I made the observation that I felt like dementors had sucked my soul right out of me.

The husband laughed and said he understood the feeling. We chatted a bit about what sort of a patronus you'd need to keep the mall dementors away and the husband, quick as ever, said he would want his patronus to take the form of a big, rubber dild0.

But, he qualified, it would have to make a loud "thwack" sound every time it hit someone or it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying.

This is yet another example, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, of why I love this man.

Random Thought of the Day

"Unce...Tice...Twee Times a Wady..."

Update: Brought to you by Texxon. Life goes on. And Texxon is there. Because Buckwheat would have wanted it that way.

Update 2: Yeah, I'm still on cold medication. Why do you ask?

Honestly

Grow the fuck up and enter the real world, why don't you?

Random Question(s) of the Day

Why does NyQuil give me funky dreams which ensures that I won't sleep well, hence negating the "nighttime-sniffling-sneezing-coughing-aching-stuffy head-fever-so-you-can-rest-medicine" bit of advertising, while the daytime cold medicine that advertises itself as "non-drowsy" knocks me on my ass and makes me want to do nothing but join the Minnesota Chapter of the Association of Righteous Nap Takers of the World?

Explain that one to me, would ya?

Uh-Oh, The Libertarians Are Gonna Be Pissed

take the WHAT BAD BOOK ARE YOU test.


and go to mewing.net. not as good as reading a good book, but way better than a bad one.

Who, moi?

Hat Tip: {Texas Best Grok}

Announcement

Since it's Thursday and there might be a few of you who are here looking for my Demystifying Divas essay, I should inform you that I have officially left that group for good.

It was lovely while it lasted, but it's now time to move on to other things. I wish all my compadres luck, happiness and loads of fun in their future endeavors.

You can find today's Divas essays at Villains Vanquished, Just Breathe, and Who Moved My Truth. For the Men's Club experience head on over to Jamesyboy, the Naked Villains, Puffy, and The Wizard's.

Gathering Time

Chad is just so wrong about me. Yet, somehow, I'll manage to show up and drink a few with him and the rest of the gang.

Because I'm a lush that way and I need to get out more often anyways and this is as good an excuse as any other.

If you're in the Twin Cities, mark your calendar accordingly. However, you'll want to mark it on the 17th, not the 18th, because the 18th is a Sunday and I'm pretty sure Chad goofed up with the dates and I feel like pointing it out since he said I might bite.