Let me repeat this for the umpteenth time: yes, I live in Cake Eater Land; no, I am NOT a cake eater. Look to the left on this here blog, there will be a little link in the upper left hand sidebar that rather impudently asks, "What is a Cake Eater?" Click on it and learn, children.
I am most certainly not "well-to-do." Crikeys. If I qualified for membership in the Cake Eater club, I would not have done what I did yesterday, which was to scrub the walls in my home office with Clorox Clean-Up. Why, you ask, did I scrub the walls with a bleachy cleaner? Well, I quit smoking a few months back (Do "well-to-do" people smoke nowadays? Nope. Because, supposedly, with more wealth comes the intelligence to know when you're killing yourself in the name of stress relief. They only fire up when they're stinking drunk and because, Gawd, they need something to make themselves feel alive, and smoking reminds them of when they were particularly naughty in college tha one time...) and it's been slowly dawning on me how yellow my supposedly white walls were.
If I were "well-to-do," rather than slapping on a pair of rubber gloves and hoisting a bottle of Clorox Clean-up, I would have simply wired the house with explosives and blown it up whilst watching from the other side of the street, swaddled in mink, an ice cold martini in my hand raised in honor of that master manipulator of nitroglycerin, Alfred Nobel.
But we is po', so I scrubbed the walls myself. That disqualifies me from Cake Eater Membership. I looked it up to be sure, too.
Oh, and while I'm at the correction business, Lileks lives in Minneapolis, not Edina.
Posted by Kathy at December 7, 2005 09:00 AM | TrackBackYou can afford rubber gloves and fancy pants Clorox?! Ooh, la-dee-dah!
In Fridley, we have to scrub our walls with our bare hands using nothing but battery acid. We DREAM of one day saving enough for just one rubber glove and an ounce or two of Clorox.
Posted by: Doug at December 7, 2005 11:11 AMDoug, you actually have walls that aren't made of sod?
Posted by: Bob at December 7, 2005 04:52 PMyes yes yes I know, but when you spend your entire childhood in Richfield, it's mighty hard to resist. Catereater=Anyone who lives in Edina. Living in Edina makes you a cakeater desite ANY evidence to the contrary. I don't care if you live in The Colony (if you actually live in the Colony, I'm not a stalker). Yes, I read your bio before writing my article. Doesn't matter. Edina=Cakeater when you grew up in Richfield. The membership criteria=Address in Edina. This is based solely on Richfield graduate standards.
When I there was a big Richfield Spartan-Edina Hornets basketball game coming up, there were Richfield kids who sold those annoying white Edina Hornets hats; we bought them, put on our khaki pants and white shirts and went AS A JOKE. Kinda like how my link was A JOKE. Even the teachers dressed up and served cake to the kids, decorated with a great big Hornet. Mmmm. Yummy.
Of course, Edina kids would have Richfield dress-up days were they'd argue with their parents so they'd let them wear baggy goth pants and those wallets with the chains. Dad-the-doctor surely was grumpy at the 5 o'clock shadow and Spartan T-Shirt despite paying half-a-mil for a 2-bedroom house so the kid could go to Edina.
Goodness. Can't we be friends? Settle the rivalry?
For the record, I had no clue where Lileks was from, but 'ol boy constantly talks about Chuck E. Cheese, the Galleria, and Southdale: All located in Edina. Just made the logical guess, ya know.
Posted by: Feisty at December 7, 2005 08:47 PMFeisty,
I know your link was a joke. Relax. This was a joke, too.
Posted by: Kathy at December 7, 2005 09:07 PMFeisty, huh?
::sigh::
(You cracked me up again with this one, Kathy!)
Posted by: Chrissy at December 8, 2005 06:34 AMYeah, Chrissy, I know. Weird, eh?
Posted by: Kathy at December 8, 2005 08:44 AM