Ok, so between reducing tomato sauce, fixing dinner and watching the Olympics, I finally got the opportunity to read The Skank Report.
Wow.
Ladies and Gentlemen, in preparation for landing, we would
appreciate it if you could return your seats and tray tables to their
locked, upright positions and that your seatbelts are securely
fastened. We should be on the ground at Skank Central in just a few
moments. Thank you for flying with us today...
Now, I could go on for days
about how this chick irritates the holy hell out of me. The material
practically reaches the neverending stage with Miss Cutler. I could
take the Malkin route and blather on about what kind of example she's
set with her limited success for those who come after her. I could
blather on about how she needs SERIOUS therapy, because it
seems as if the only place she finds validation in her life is in bed.
I could take the Goldstein route and tell her please to stay away from
the gourds. I could even bitch and moan about the fact that she fucked
around, got paid for it, and scored a six-figure book deal as a result
of her promiscuity. But it's all been done...
...except for this. Man, do I ever feel sorry for men nowadays. A
friend of mine, Matt, back when he was single, bemoaned how rough being
a single guy was and how tough it was to find the right girl. In one of his more bitter moments, out sprang some words of truth. And I quote: What
do women need men around for anyway? You've got your own money. You
don't need us for protection. And children? Well, you can just mosey on
down to the local sperm bank. He had a point.
In theory.
The sexual revolution has been hard on men. And for the most part,
considering most guys do not like change (at least the men in my life
don't), they've adapted pretty well. For the most part. Sure you will
still have chauvinistic assholes out there, who will do anything and
everything to make sure their playground stays same-sex, but for the
most part, I'd like to think that, outside of the Islamic world,
they've done pretty well at beating back millions of years of instinct
in a fifty year span of time. Of course there are assholes out there.
Men who turn the relatively new rules of sexual behavior to their
advantage and take what is freely offered---and who have no
crisis of conscience about doing so, either. They're not plagued with
guilt trips for using someone. They don't secretly hope that their bed
partner of the night before will suddenly think them a wonderful
person, worthy of a second, non-bedroom eyed look. But women do. They
think something miraculous will come out of a one night stand. Matt had
a point about women being independent enough to not need men. But, like
I said, that was simply theory. In reality, for the most part, we
expect something, even when we say we don't. If something's offered to
a woman, she thinks about all the angles of what it means, what it
could mean and how things will change if she accepts. Men aren't that
complicated. If something's offered to them, they'll take it at face
value and that will be the end of that in their minds. Yet, if they're
smart, they'll make sure not to poison the well from which they drink.
They'll take care, and the good ones, even if they're simply not
looking for a wife, will at least offer up some respect to their
partner for the night. The problem with this Cutler bitch is that she
says she expects nothing except for sex yet in reality what she expects
is rather a lot. When she inevitably gets it, she acts like it's her
due, thank you ever so much, and do you wanna go again? I think I can fit you in next Wednesday.
How is that respecting your partner? These men, misguided though they
were, offered her gifts, money and dinners out because they thought
they needed to show some respect; that she was a worthwhile person;
that this is the way things were done if they wanted to get laid. They
didn't just say bend over, bitch, and let's get this over and done with.
What, exactly did they get out of Jessica Cutler other than momentary
satisfaction? Better question is, was the momentary satisfaction so
great it overwhelms the humiliation they must be feeling right about
now? I don't live in Washington, but I'm sure that even though no names
were named that people there know exactly
whom she was bragging about bagging. I feel sorry for these guys. I
can't bang out the "turnabout is fair play" song because what if they
honestly got involved with her because they liked her? What about the
boyfriend who let her live rent-free and whom she cheated on
repeatedly? What about the guy she met in the office that she gushed
over? How has she repaid their respect for her? What's the quid pro quo
in Jessica's world?
She blogged about them. Not to tell the world, she claims, but to keep
her friends in the loop about what was going on in her love life. It
was too time consuming to email everyone. Apparently, for someone with
a 140 IQ, she hadn't learned how to group email yet.
It was all about her. Her choices. Her decisions. Her actions. They
didn't even come into the equation, apparently, other than to provide
fodder for her vagina. And they'll be bitter about it. Men can hold
grudges, too, and they'll pay Cutler back through the next woman they
get involved with. In her much heralded "I'm going to act just like a
man when it comes to sex" act she's hurt other women who, perhaps,
would like to be, you know, a woman.
Women who don't put out like she does will pay the price for her
promiscuity and bitterness-creating ways. Life is just grown-up high
school at times, and this would be one of them. This thing is getting
longwinded and I'm not sure it's even making any sense at this point,
but I will post a few final wishes for Miss Cutler, because she
apparently reads all the bad things that are said about her on the web.
So, Jessica, if you've found your way here, here's what I wish for you.
First, I hope I find your book in the clearance aisle at Barnes and
Noble sometime in the near future and that your publisher sues to get
their advance back. Second, I hope the nice guys that you shat on
manage to have nice, successful relationships now that you're out of
their lives and that you wind up alone and shriveled. Third, I hope you
realize that the reason no real nice guy will ever have anything to do
with you is because you're a skank. And, fourth and finally, that by
writing that you're a skank, I'm not a right-wing puritan, even though
by my simple act of criticism you would lump me in with that lot, but
am instead telling the truth as I see it.