June 01, 2004

Um, I hate to ask,

Um, I hate to ask, but could you send the jet stream back up to Canada?
Paul Douglas---yeah, the weatherman on WCCO who looks like Pee Wee
Herman. You know who I'm talking about? Yes. {nods head} It's bad isn't
it? The makeup lady needs to cut back on his blush. ME TOO!
I swear to God, I keep waiting to hear stories of him being arrested at
some skanky movie theater, the resemblance is so strong.----just said
that it was going to get down to 45 degrees tonight.
Now, I don't mean to nitpick or anything, but hell-ooooooo?

FORTY-FIVE-FRICKIN'-DEGREES DURING THE LAST FULL WEEK IN JUNE?

You want to explain that one to me? Because, as sure as I'll be pissed off at some point tomorrow, I am not turning the furnace back on.

Did you hear me? I'm not turning the furnace back on. I'll shiver under the duvet if I have to, but I'm not going to do it. It's summer.
Which means hot weather, suntans, sticky ice-cream coated fingers, the
smell of sunscreen---are you getting the gist, Momma Nature? It's not
supposed to be this cold in June. {Insert lightning bolt crashing down
here, smothering me with ozone and electricity} Ahem. Sorry. I do have
a suggestion, though? Send the cold weather back up to Alaska---where
it's ninety-some odd degrees right now---they're probably dropping like
flies from heat exhaustion. They don't have central air there. I,
however, do have central air and I'm willing to take one for the team.
Yep. Give me some of that old-fashioned, Midwestern summah-weathah! I
can take it! I'll leave you be now. Thanks for hearing me out. I
appreciate it.

Posted by Kathy at June 1, 2004 10:20 PM | TrackBack
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