A Few Items From The Fair Fiefdom of Cake Eater Land

Here's a list of what's annoying me in a mild sort of way about living in Cake Eater Land this weekend.

1. It's been raining cats and dogs here for the past couple of weeks. I am annoyed with our sunless state. I am also annoyed that the new landlord has yet to purchase a lawn mower because the lawn looks like crap. Well, let me amend that: the lawn always looks like crap, but now it looks like overgrown crap in the few spots where there's actually grass. My current nickname for the lawn is "The Savannah." I fully expect that Marlin Perkins and Jim will show up soon to film an episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom because the grass is so tall that there's probably some interesting wildlife in there.

And there's a profusion of dandelions, too. Woot!

I am also annoyed that the new landlord has yet to tell me what I can and cannot do in regards to my plantings. With the Great White Hunter-exlandlord and Tweedledumb, anything you wanted to do that made things look nicer, well, they were for it---as long as you didn't expect them to pay for it. Hence I have a nice little landscaped flower bed full of lilies and hostas. I always border this with impatiens, because a. they're colorful and b. they're one of the few annuals that do well here in the Hinterlands. I also put out some pots on the front porch, as well, and when we had the roof of the garage as our deck, the husband built me some flower boxes and I filled them with pots of pansies and petunias. Well, since the deck is no longer stable enough for the average sized human to walk on, I have to rely on these other areas to satisfy my gardening jones. I have no idea if I'm going to be allowed to do these things this year. We'll just have to see.

And no, the man has not called the plumber to see what's wrong with my dishwasher, either.

2. The church that resides across the street from us has once again allowed clubs from the local high school to use their circular drive for fundraising car washes.

Sigh.

So, it seems we're back to being subjected to shouts of, "CAR WASH!" every Friday and Saturday afternoon. They shout this at cars who are going above thirty mph and who are prevented from stopping by the laws of physics and traffic. So, these drivers---may God smite them---honk their horns, repeatedly, to show appreciation.

Said honking gets quite annoying when the eighteen-wheelers that barrel through the neighborhood to avoid traffic on Hwy. 100 join in on the action.

This, of course, says nothing about how scantily clad these teenagers are. They bare their young bodies in a barely decent sort of way in an attempt to bring in customers. Yes, I know, it's a car wash. They're going to be dressed in swimsuits and the like. Ok, that's all well and good until you see what these kids do. One of the more popular ways to bring in customers is to hold a large poster directly over the midsection of your body to make it appear to drivers that you're naked. They've apparently learned that sex sells. (Hmmm. I wonder where they got that one?) I've never once seen a faculty advisor tell these kids to knock it off, either. It makes me feel like they're hooking for funds to support the marching band or the swim club or the track and field club, etc. One, I suppose, could also make comments about the luring of pedophiles if one was so inclined.

Surprisingly enough, the pastor of this church, when I've spoken with him in the past regarding this, has no issues with this behavior. Neither does he mind that all of this behavior is happening in his church parking lot. Apparently being concerned with "community involvement" is more important than the prostitution of children for extra-curricular activities funding. Yay for the Lutherans! They've got their priorities in the right place!

3. The obnoxious Cake Eater neighbor is weaseling his way into our lives. Even more than he's already done so.

I cannot tell you what it is about this guy that sets me off. He just bugs me. There is something there that not only makes me dislike him, but creeps me out as well. And most people don't creep me out. He does. In a I-don't-want-to-be-alone-with-him sort of way. He's definitely a Cake Eater---someone who is concerned with conspicuous consumption strictly for the sake of Keeping Up With The Joneses---and his new area of Cake Eatery behavior takes him into the land of computers. And he's adopted the husband as his guru. He keeps buying computers---as in there are four people in their house, and they now have five laptops, two desktops and a PSP. FOR FOUR PEOPLE. Of course, the guy has absolutely no idea what the hell he's doing with all of this technology, so this is where the husband comes in. He keeps it all straight for them.

Which gets annoying when the Cake Eater neighbor calls at ten at night and expects the husband to come running to solve whatever problem has arisen now. Because we live next door, of course, in the immortal words of Martha and the Vandellas, there's nowhere to run to, there's nowhere to hide. Fortunately, the husband has no issues with saying "get bent" when this happens. But this doesn't apparently stop the Cake Eater neighbor from trying it on again and again, because the man has no familiarity with the concept of boundaries.

Furthermore...well, this is great news for the husband, but I'm leery. The man has decided to set the husband and this other guy up in a computer fixit business. He's funding it, he's got retail space for them---the works, in other words. The store opens for business on Monday. I'm happy for the husband---really I am. This is a big deal for him and I'm happy he now has the opportunity to see one of his visions come into being. That's wonderful and all that. But...

...I wish someone else who was dishing out all of this largesse. Someone who didn't give me the creeps and who didn't feel that it was all right to stick his nose into our personal business. Which he does. All the freakin' time. Sigh. Oh, well. I suppose you have to take the good with the bad. I just hope I don't blow it for the husband the next time the Cake Eater neighbor makes some suggestion about what I should be doing with my time. Because he apparently feels my life is now his business. {Shudder}

And if there are annoyances, there is, of course, also good news...

The downstairs roommate who I mentioned in this post from last week, well, he's doing wonderfully. He rested over at his girlfriend's last weekend, and he's now back at the house. He took the week off from work, but while it definitely looks like he had surgery recently, he looks pretty good, considering. Everything's good and they're thinking they got all of the cancer. I was chatting with him the other evening and he's really hoping they got all of it, because if they didn't, they'll have to operate again---and will have to remove all of his lymph nodes.

Keep your fingers crossed for him.

Posted by Kathy at May 21, 2005 01:49 PM