February 27, 2005

Oscar Night: Snarkiness

--- Chris Rock??? Doing pretty well so far.

---Mr. H. "Do you think he's getting a Gap kickback?"

--- I have to give Rock props for being clever about bashing Bush.

That's about all I'll give him props for, though.

I like the take no prisoner's style, but I have to ask---who the hell do they think watches this stuff? Blue staters only?

--- What is this with all the nominees on stage? The Miss America pageant?

--- Renee Zellweger: my boobs are about to pop out. Great dress, though.

Mr H after Chris' Rock's introduction: Deacon Jones? No, she's going to play Star Jones.

--- Yay for Morgan Freeman. Classy man.

--- What the F@#$ is up with Robin Williams' pink shirt. UGH!

You are not a bougainvillea Robin. Have some pride, for fuck's sake!

--- How chintzy is it that they're not allowing the people who aren't actors to go near the stage.

It's like they're lepers.

--- Mr. H: Drew Barrymore's earrings look like my drapery sashes.

---Scarlett Johansson has quite the booty on her.

Pierce...I'll make you some tea, baby. You sound awful.

---Hey lookie! Troy got nominated for something!

---Wow. They let someone come on the stage who wasn't an actor! Woooooh.

---How much you wanna bet Tim Robbins thought Rock was joking about the "boring people about his politics bit?

---Adam Duritz's hair looks like a head of broccoli.

--- Ok, had to clean up the kitchen and clear away the food.

YAY! For Omaha Boy Alexander Payne. Well done, but I think that's it for the night, bub.

The husband just hoped for one of Sidney's Lumet's daughters that the, "bicycle pumps weren't too heavy." (if you're watching, you know the one I'm referring to)

--- Mr H about Andrew Lloyd Weber: "He's such a little troll."

Beyonce is wearing the GNP of a small third world country without an extradition treaty with the US around her neck, on her ears and wrists.

--- Jeremy Irons---who knew he has a sense of humor?


--- Ok, I would highly recommend flipping to the WE channel, if you've got it.
(Channel 260 on DirecTV if you've got it) Sandra Bernhard and some dude are being catty. Pretty enjoyable, on the whole. And they're on during the commercials.

They're the John Madden and Pat Summerall of the Oscars.

As far as who's who, I have no idea.


Let me repeat: COMMIES AREN'T COOL!

---Oh My! Johnny Depp's girlfriend/wife/whateverthehellsheis has some horrible teeth!

--- Only in Hollywood would someone get a "Humanitarian Award" for film preservation.

---No way this thing is going to be over with by 10:30.

Bets anyone?


--- Mr. H.: "Sean Penn: King of the bad haircut."
Personally, I think he needs to get a sense of humor. Still.

---Annette Bening: The Susan Lucci of the Oscars.

Oh, hillary that dress is just freakin' hideous!

--- Here's a question for you: if this is such a big honor, why do the recipients only get a thirty-seonds to say thank you to everyone who got them to that place in life?

Another question: why on earth would you thank your lawyers? Don't they get paid already? Same with the agents? Or do they get cranky and screw with your career if they don't?

--- The husband: Jamie Foxx's come a long way from being the ugly chick on In Living Color

--- Mr H. on Heather Locklear in the L'Oreal commercial: AGE, woman!

--- When Will Martin Scorsese get his Oscar? It's not like he sucks or something like that!

How cute is it that Dirty Harry brought his mom to the oscars?

---The husband on Barbra's dress: "That's two shoulder straps short of a muumuu."

---The husband: "Barbra, it's not your fucking show. Back the fuck up!"
Mr. H.: "And don't forget to go beep-beep-beep when you do.

Posted by Kathy at February 27, 2005 07:40 PM

This is so much better than just watching the stupid show...

; )

Posted by: Christina at February 27, 2005 08:58 PM
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