A Recommendation to the Presumptive Nominees for President

Ahem.

TAKE THE FREAKIN' SUMMER OFF!

In case that wasn't clear enough, let me explain my thinking. You people have been bombarding the American public with your political campaigning for over a year now. I don't think I'm out of line when I claim to speak for the majority of people who are SICK TO EFFIN' DEATH of your incessant campaigning. We are tired of entire newscasts being devoted to breathless reporting on whatever campaign-related faux pas video appeared on YouTube today while real news that's happening elsewhere gets short shrift. We are weary of rumors that float around the campaigns being reported as fact. We are just plain freakin' exhausted with all of this crap. WE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

This, of course, says nothing of the fact that most of us are appalled at how much money candidates need to raise to keep on BUGGING US! Do us a favor, please, just take the summer off, would you? Let us sit on the front porch with an ice cream cone without having to dodge your volunteers, who get a bit testy if you tell them you don't want to talk to them. Have your private fundraisers, where no media is allowed, so we don't have to hear about it. Stop with the stump speeches---no one's listening anyway. Just leave us ALONE for a few months. You'll save money because you won't be running a campaign no one's paying attention to anyway. Stop with the blabbering, and take a vacation. Your vocal chords could undoubtedly use the rest.