Arthur Hailey has died.
I went on an Arthur Hailey reading spree during the summer vacation
between my freshman and sophomore years in high school. This was also
the summer I was forced to take Driver's Ed at Omaha's Westside High
School because my parochial school did not offer it and my father
insisted I take it so he could get a discount on the car insurance. The
class was a joke. I went to private school. This was my first foray
into the vast world of public education since kindergarten. Their
standards, even for Drivers's Ed seemed weak. I figured I'd ace it with
minimal effort expended on my part, yet I almost failed it because of
the weeklong simulator portion. My fellow students and I spent the week
in a darkened trailer, pretending to follow the road of a movie that
was playing on the screen at the front of the trailer by turning our
steering wheels, pressing on the gas, stomping on the brake, etc. The
only problem with this was that I did not have the upper body strength
to crank the friggin' wheel all the way, which was the only way a
successful turn was registered on the teacher's readout. The rather
coarse teacher kept yelling at me, "ZABAWA! TURN THE GODDAMNED WHEEL!"
This was hard for me. I'd been driving Mom's Le Baron for a while. It
had power steering. The wheel on my simulator station did not have
power steering. Also, I knew I wasn't supposed to turn the wheel all
the way on every turn---I'd wind up overturning. If this was supposed
to be a simulator, well, my unvoiced question while the jackal
continued to keep yelling at me was why wasn't the simulator on par
with real life conditions? The question never was answered and on the
Saturday of that week, the teacher told me that he was going to pass me
on to the classroom portion of the course, but that he prayed I never
got my license as he didn't ever want to be on the road with me. I aced
the class portion, by the way. And I have Mr. Hailey to thank for
keeping me from getting bored during it. Three friggin' hours a day,
five days a week, for a month! Ugh! I read "Hotel" while they showed us
all the gory movies. I read "Airport" while the teacher droned on---for
the umpteenth time---about checking your blindspots before changing
lanes. I read "The Final Diagnosis" while the teacher taught us about
the Interstate Highway System. The class was boring, and I would have
acted out if it weren't for Mr. Hailey. I would have wound up in
trouble again, furthering the evaluation of the simulator teacher, if
it hadn't been for his novels. Thanks to him, I kept myself from
passing notes and talking in class. Hence the simulator teacher's
evaluation looked more like an anomaly, rather than an accurate
evaluation of my skills. Thanks for many hours of enjoyment, Mr.
Hailey, and thanks for helping me get through Driver's Ed.