I'm not taking a picture

I'm not taking a picture of this one, even though I wouldn't have to
move an inch to do so, so I'll simply describe the situation.
Living on the second floor, you wouldn't think we'd get a lot of
"nature"---birds aside---this high up from the ground. But we do. The
main reason for this is because whomever planted the three pine trees
that reside outside my office window, didn't realize that planting them
less than four feet away from the house was, perhaps, a bad
idea. As a result of the trees' proximity to my window, I get the daily
joy of squirrels racing their way up the tree and parking their fat
asses on a branch that, were there not a screen on said window, I could
reach out and touch.
Now the squirrels can be fun to watch. I enjoy it when a fight
breaks out between two of them this high up from the ground. They leap
from branch to branch, darting and dodging, lauching the occasional
Kung Fu assault, making the whole endeavor seem less like a squirrel
fight and more like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It's good
fun, and for the money, the squirrel action is better than a Jet Li
movie. But most of the time, the squirrels climb up the tree and park
themselves on the branch whilst concentrating on giving me the evil
eye. This, understandably, can be somewhat disconcerting.
Today, however, it's neither entertaining nor disconcerting. It's
gross. A squirrel has parked his ever-widening, acorn fed ass on the
branch and is currently licking his privates.

I really don't need to see this first thing in the morning. I really, really don't.

Now, aren't you glad I didn't take a picture?