I must admit that one of the highlights of writing this blog is that I
get to indulge in my obsession with all things Google. I love that
search engine. It's so random, so anonymous, and just so chock-a-block
full of information, it gives me shivers. It's like a card catalogue of
the world. The fun part about Googling is the clicking: all that
information, right at your fingertips: it's the height of instant
gratification. For me, however, the best part about Google is the
anonymity it affords; because no one could possibly know it was you
who clicked, right? Google is the wall behind which you hide; it's the
messenger you, as the King and the commander of legions, send out to
scout for information on troop movements. But unlike a general in
battle, Google gives you this feeling of anonymity because so many
people use it...how could anyone possibly know it was you who typed in the phrase Janet Jackson's Nipple Ring?
There may be only one or two generals in a battle, but loads of people
want to know what Miss Jackson wears on her tittie. You're safe, you
think, from the world's knowledge of your prurient interests. I hate to
be a killjoy, but unless you're a hacker who knows how to cloak
themselves, you should probably know that anonymity on the web is a
myth. While the sheer numbers of certain, specifically phrased, search
inquiries will shield you from scrutiny, you should probably know that
if your search is more specific and well defined, and you make your way
to a website, like mine, more than once, odds are someone will notice.
(And I know I will now get slammed with people googling for that
specific phrase---it's part of my point, eh? Never mind that I could
use a traffic surge. Pay attention!)
I've had a referral log mystery brewing for over a month now, and since
I found yet another reference to this mystery in the logs this morning,
I feel I should share. I named a certain individual from my youth in this post.
I will not name him again, lest I add more fuel to the flames, but it's
been been very interesting. Ever since, someone's been finding their
way here on a regular basis by Googling this individual's name. A
couple of times a week I find evidence in the referral logs of this
person's presence. I find this funny. At first there were more than a
few references, from different ISP's and even one email
reference---where someone had put the link in an email and the
recipient had found their way from that. Since then the interest has
narrowed itself down into one reference: same ISP, same Google entry. I
can't help but be curious about it.
While I do know that someone is doing this, I don't know who, precisely, is doing it or why.
There are a few clues that lead me, inexorably, to certain conclusions
regarding the who. One of the ISP's that visited here was a company
from Nebraska: our shared home state and, according to another link on
Google, the place where said individual still resides and works,
providing that information is up-to-date. Another clue is that every
single time his name is in the referral logs, it's been spelled
correctly. Is this a big deal? you ask. Well, to a certain extent. When
I wrote the post, I vaguely remembered that there are two "t's" in
their name. It's easy to forget because it's not phonetical. I also
looked up his dad, who is a scholar of some renown and has plenty of
links in the Google cache, and his name has been misspelled too many
times to count---and all of them have dropped the extra "t." But in my
referral logs? It's never been mispelled. So, all of this leads
me---in all my Miss Marple-ish glory---to believe its someone close to
him, if not the guy himself, that's Googling their way here. Someone in
Nebraska who knows how to correctly spell his last name. If it's the
guy, then he's getting here via a vanity search, which is funny in its
own right. But if it's not him, then who is it? A girlfriend? A
wife? A boyfriend? (I don't discriminate.) His parents (if it is---HI!
I hope everything's well with you!), siblings, friends, business
associates? It could be absolutely anyone, but it's probably someone he
knows. It's fun to wonder about it. I must admit, the thought has
crossed my mind that it might be him and he's obsessing over past
mistakes and is wondering how to make it up to me. But I doubt it. Yet,
by wondering about the fun bits, I also have to wonder if this lurker
thinks I'm waging some sort of war against this individual, where my
pen is my sword. That they keep coming back here for evidence of my
hatred of this individual. That they are just waiting for me to goof so
they might run to court to get a restraining order. Farfetched, I know,
but wierder things have happened. Well, said she to the lurker, if
that's the case, you can stop. I don't hate this person anymore. I
haven't thought about him in years and the only reason I did was
because of that survey. While it is
one of my regrets, it's not like I'm still harping on this almost
twenty years later, and I've sworn a blood oath to get even. It's just
one of those things I wished I would have had the courage to do because
I can see now where it might have saved me grief way back when. That's
all. Nothing more, nothing less. And it was a harmless regret
to have posted about. One that I could easily post on a public website
that wouldn't be announcing my business to the world. I may publish an
awful lot here, but I'm not about to go about airing my real
regrets on a blog: that's never going to happen. If, by chance, I
happened to run into the guy nowadays, I wouldn't bother with it. I
might even be friendly to him, depending upon how nice he was to me,
but I don't know. It would depend upon the situation, but the last
thing I would ever do is smack him for hurts sustained ages ago. It's
just not who I am. Which I suppose, if one wanted to look at the
situation with the long angle lens, perhaps I shouldn't have that
regret as a result.
Whatever the reason this lurker keeps coming here, I'm assuming this
person will automatically stop coming here once they read this post,
but I hope they don't. What I would prefer is for them to muster up the
courage to email me and let me know who they are so the mystery is
solved. One final note if the lurker happens to be the individual I
named: drop me an email and say "hi" for chrissakes. It's not going to
kill you to be friendly. My bark is definitely worse than my bite. I
promise.