You can find the deluuuuuuuuusion here.
Time for Moore, an Academy Award winner for his gun-culture documentary ``Bowling for Columbine,'' to tell all on himself. ``There's a character that is often written about that is often times largely invented by the media, and it's called Michael Moore,'' said Moore, 50, whose previous credits include ``Roger & Me'' and the television shows ``TV Nation'' and ``The Awful Truth.'' ``It took me a few years to figure this out, but that guy isn't really me. ``I read things, negative things about my flaws or whatever. I go, you know, they don't have to make this stuff up. If anybody would just ask me, I have lots of things wrong with me.'' The awful truth about Moore: Work ethic. ``I'm lazy. I'm a lethargic individual. I strive to do nothing. ... I watch too much TV. Some days, I watch four, five hours of TV, just completely vegged out, completely zoned out.'' Reading habits. ``I don't read enough novels, I don't read enough fiction. I love to do that, and I don't take the time to do it. I'm not as well read as I should be on that level.'' Body and spirit. ``I clearly have put my health second. Taking care of myself is second to everything else I'm doing. That's a horribly stupid thing to do.'' Despite his pudginess, Moore said doctors routinely proclaim him in good health, though they admonish him, ```Mike, get up and walk around the block.' I don't do that.'' ``I don't take care of my spiritual needs as well as I should. I try to go to Mass as often as I can, but not out of some obligation, some rule of the church, a hierarchy that I completely disagree with. Its attitudes and policies and treatment of women. I come from the other end of Mel Gibson's Catholic church.'' Self image. ``I'm very shy, I'm very introverted. I think I was able to ask out one girl in high school, and I didn't do much better after high school, and I just had to wait around for people to ask me out. I can't stand looking at myself in a movie. ... I don't have enough of an ego. I read that (about his supposed egomania), but then I remember, that's that other Michael Moore.''There's a pill out there for everything, right? Question of the day: is there a pill large enough that it could work on Michael Moore? UPDATE: Not only is Moore in need of psychiatric help, he's a founding member of the Copperhead Feyadeen. My homework's done, Mom. Can I go and watch TV now?
UPDATE 2: It would probably help if I learned how to spell
"fedayeen."