--- Do you remember Don Music from your childhood? If you watched
Sesame Street, you might remember him---vaguely.
Don was a composer who could never get the words to rhyme. Invariably,
as he became increasingly frustrated, he would start banging his head
against his piano, as if that would solve the problem. I don't know
what exactly they were trying to teach us becuase I can't remember the
moral of his little stories---all I can remember is the head banging
and the frustration that led up to it.
There are many times I feel like Don Music. This would be one of them.
Scientists Embrace Plot for 'Tomorrow'
No one is pretending the forthcoming film ``The Day After Tomorrow''
is anything but implausible: In the $125 million movie, global warming
triggers a cascade of events that practically flash freeze the planet.
It's an abruptness no one believes possible, least of all the
filmmakers behind the 20th Century Fox release. ``It's very
cinematic to choose the worst-case scenario, which we did,'' said
co-screenwriter Jeffrey Nachmanoff.
Nonetheless, scientists are embracing the movie, unusual for those
whose stock in trade is fact.
``My first reaction was, 'Oh my God, this is a disaster because it is
such a distortion of the science. It will certainly create a
backlash,''' said Dan Schrag, a Harvard University paleoclimatologist.
``I have sobered up somewhat, because the
public is probably smart enough to distinguish between Hollywood and
the real world.''
Oh, we're probably
smart enough to distinguish between Hollywood and the real world? Gee
thanks for your overwhelming vote of approval. Could you can wipe the
drool from my cro-magnon chin because you seem like a really nice guy
and all and God only knows I really depend upon people like you to help
me realize what's really important in this world. / sarcasm.
The backlash is comin' boy---it's going to be just as you predicted,
though, because I'm plenty smart enough to realize your arguments are
overhyped, sensationalized, psuedoscientific crap. But wait---it gets
even better. The movie also has mobilized activists, who are seizing on it as
an occasion to spark public discussion about a subject they feel is
getting short shrift from the public and policy-makers alike. ``The Day
After,'' a similarly titled 1983 television movie that dealt with the
aftermath of nuclear war, engendered similar debate.
Hold on to your diapies, babies! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!
Moveon.org, the San Francisco-based liberal advocacy group, is
organizing a town hall meeting to coincide with the movie's New York
City premiere later this month. Former Vice President Al Gore, comedian
and author Al Franken and environmentalist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. are
among those expected to attend.
Oh, good heavens. They're rolling out Al Gore to talk about Global
Warming! Woohoo. What exactly does he know about it? Oh, that's right
he wrote a book about it. He's an expert. (Yeaaah...right) But if Al Gore is an expert, what does that make Al Franken---the Pope?
``To have a major studio release of a movie tackling a serious issue
is a terrific opportunity for Americans to start talking about the
reality of the problem, what can be done about it and the enormous
threat that President Bush is not dealing with,'' said Peter Schurman,
Moveon.org's executive director.
And if I can get my nose any further up the ass of whomever might
give me a job after Kerry tanks, I'll be able to continue fighting for
the cause because the cause is so DAMN important and if you don't agree
with me, well then you're of course you probably work for Halliburton
and drive an SUV and support chopping down the rainforests, you bad,
bad woman, you!
Ah, I hate to point this out to you, but you still have shit on your nose.
Producer Mark Gordon hopes his movie will make people think. He
stressed it wasn't made to suit an agenda, but he clearly reveled in
the stir it's caused.
Oh, fer chrissakes. Go and look at your website and
tell me the movie wasn't made to suit an agenda. If you really believe
that after peeking around, well, there's some land in Florida that you
might be interested in...
I still feel like Don Music. I still want to slam my head against a
piano keyboard. I think I'll go bake some cookies instead. That's
productive at least.