--- We've got good junk

--- We've got good junk for you today. Strap yourselves in, kidlets,
it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
--- I am really starting to like hockey. Now, I didn't grow up watching
the sport. I knew only one kid when I was growing up who played the
sport. One kid. And he only played it until sixth grade, if I'm
remembering correctly. So, you can imagine I didn't have a great wealth
of knowledge about the sport. Then I moved to Minnesota. This is the
place that calls itself "The State of Hockey," and they've got a point.
Everyone
plays hockey here. Grandmas play hockey here. (there was a story in the
Strib about mom hockey leagues a week ago and I was going to link to
it, but the Strib's search engine isn't coughing up the article. Will
try later). Kids who don't look big enough to hold up all that
equipment play hockey here. It's been an interesting business to see
how nutso everyone here is about the sport. Quite frankly, I enjoy it.
No frigging time outs. The game moves. And on occasion, you get a
fight. Michele
seems to think the golden age of bench clearing brawls is over and done
with. I haven't been watching long enough to have an opinion, but it's
an interesting little post nonetheless. And just for reference: I do like it when they start pounding
on one another. Call me a barbarian if you will. And I don't even like
boxing, so I have no idea what's the matter with me. --- Funny.

Even funnier.

Courtesy of Scott Kurtz at PvPonline
Now, personally, I don't know what the problem is with sending your
resident male out to buy tampons for you. Yeah, I know they're
embarrassed to be buying that sort of stuff. Anything that comes in a
pink box and reeks of sickly sweet feminine deodorant just makes guys
turn all sorts of interesting shades of purple. They think they
shouldn't have to buy this sort of stuff. Women should have to do it;
after all, as the husband reasoned once upon a time, it's not like he
ever sent me out to buy a jock strap for him. True. I can buy that
argument, but get over it. But Mr. H. has a better argument that lends
credence to the idea that men should have no issues with this chore. We
call this theory "tampon logic." The basic gist of this theory is that
if you are an adult male of a certain age (meaning you're not buying
them for your sister or your daughter) you should be proud
that you're at the store buying tampons. Why should men be proud? you
ask. Particularly when it goes against every instinct man has about
feminine hygiene products? Because, according to Mr. H., IT MEANS YOU'RE GETTING SOME!.
Think about it for a minute. If a guy is at the store buying tampons,
it means he's cohabitating/intimate with a woman. A woman who obviously
has no issues asking him to go out and purchase the stuff for her.
There's a level of intimacy there. It generally means the woman is
sleeping with the man, because it's not like you ask a casual boyfriend
to run to the store for you for that sort of thing. Maybe you'll ask
that guy to get you some kleenex or some toilet paper, but you
certainly won't ask him to buy you tampons. Contrary to popular
opinion, women do have some sense of decorum when it comes to this sort of thing. We don't ask just anyone to run to the store to pick up a box of Playtex for us. You have to be close to us.

And if you're a man who's close enough to be asked, you should rejoice. You should shout HALLELUJAH!
from the rooftops. Because it means instead of spouting off to your
friends about how you're shacked up even when they won't care anyway,
you can go to the grocery store with a smile on your face! You can
announce your extraordinary prowess with the opposite sex in even the
most ordinary of situations. Oh, and just for the record, the husband
still does not like to purchase tampons for me. He doesn't enjoy it,
but he knows exactly
what brand and size I need. Whenever I send him out, he comes back,
waving the box at me, asking, "Did I get the right thing? I got the
right stuff, right?" I will look at the box and reply in the
affirmative. And then he breathes a deep sigh of relief, thankful he
doesn't have to go back to the store. He was really happy when we got a
membership at Costco where we can buy the Holy Roman Empire size box of
tampons---it means there's much less of a chance that he'll be asked to
perform this chore.
I'll have to take a picture of how red he turns when he reads that
little bit. {evil chuckle}
--- $30,000 a month in child support?

F%^k me. Running.

--- This is hysterical.

Who knew a parrot could live that long?

--- Funny comment from the husband while watching the State of the Union last night:

Ted Kennedy looks like he just realized he's going to have to spend another five years listening to Bush's speeches.
Ted really did look like he was sucking on a lemon last night. ---
Other thoughts on the speech. - Who on earth thought it was a good idea
that Nancy "no personality" Pelosi should give the response? I'll
believe she actually cares about working class Americans when she gives
up the $250 color jobs. It was a fabulous color job, no doubts about
it. But it cost a freaking fortune. Stop spouting about socialism,
Nancy, when it's obvious you're a capitalist at heart! No hypocrites
allowed.
- Did not like the section about feeling the need to protect marriage.
Stoopid. Stoopid. Stoopid. Tom DeLay was overjoyed. That's how I know
it's a bad idea. Bush just alienated half of the people who were toying
with the idea of voting for him. STOP PANDERING TO THE RIGHT WINGERS!
Ugh. There's no need to pander to them---they're going to vote for you anyway! It's the people in the middle whom you have to convince.
Duh. And it really wasn't a good idea to piss off the judiciary.
They're there for a reason---to declare shit unconstitutional when
Congress passes a bad law. They interpreted the law: don't call them
"activists" just because you didn't like the outcome. - Way TOO MUCH
FREAKING SPENDING! Damnit. I want less government, not more. I still
have high hopes that Bush will turn into a slash and burn president in
his next administration and will get some actual reform done---that
he's just waiting to get reelected before he does it---but man, it
doesn't look good. LESS GOVERNMENT! NOT MORE!
--- And that concludes the tour of what's on my brain for January 21,
2004. Have a good one, kids!

Posted by Kathy at January 1, 2004 01:59 PM | TrackBack