It's me, The Husband, highjacking

It's me, The Husband, highjacking the Cakeeater to
point out that Kathy's post about the bear-feet slippers loosing to the
monkeyface slippers in a fight is entirely bereft of logic. First, I
thought the monkeyfaces and the bear feet were going to fight. Suddenly
there's mentally challenged campers with illegally modified firearms.
How did that get in there and what does it possibly have to do with the
original contest? She challenges that bears are lumbering and stupid,
however she fails to speak of the sheer strength behind razor sharp and
very substantial claws. And her description of lumbering isn't entirely
accurate. The stupid claim is just out and out propoganda. Bears are
nearly enlightened survivalists. They never seem to go hungry, and if
they kill for their supper, they only kill what they eat. They are
single-minded in their survival, and while Kathy may mistake that for
stupidity, some would see it as living a harmonious life. They eat,
they play, they're happy - everything they need. Then they have the
good sense to go into a deep meditative state for months while the
weather's crappy. I KNOW FOR A FACT that if Kathy could hibernate here
in Minnesota from November to March, she would (as long as I got her up
for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas).
Now lets look at the monkeys. Size and Intelligence? Meh. I think not.
They are agile, I'll give you that. But if in a fight with a bear, the
bear even lays one paw on them, it's over. As for intelligence, think
about that. We're talking about an entire species completely obsessed
with grooming, poo and sex. (Much like the stereotypical American male,
unfortunately.) What do you only ever see the monkeys doing in the zoo?
They're either pulling garbage off of each other's fur, flinging poo,
or humping like there's no tomorrow. To call the single-mindedness of a
bear stupid when compared to these narcissistic, fecal-retentive,
attention-defecit hyperactive sex addicts is ludicrous.