Random Question of the Day

So, as I might have mentioned once or twice, I'm an auntie twenty-some-odd times over. I've lost count, completely, particularly since my brother re-married last year and gained four step-kids. I think that puts me at twenty-seven nieces and nephews, and one grandniece, but I might be doing the math wrong. Yes, we are your typical Catholic family: everyone has gone forth and started with the "begat" business. While it's nice to have a variety of nieces and nephews, with their various personalities and interests to keep things lively, it presents something of a problem having this many. I can't send everyone a birthday card, otherwise our household GDP would fund Hallmark exclusively, and dammit, if I'm going to give that much money to a company, I'd just as soon have stock, ya dig? There are just too many of them.

But special occasions are another story, and this year we have four---count 'em---grandkids graduating from various institutions. (Perhaps it might be five, but I'm not sure if one nephew is receiving his joint MBA/MS in Mechanical Engineering this semester or not.) As such, I have received three graduation announcements in the mail, and I'm sure the final one will be winging its way here once that particular nephew puts down his pipe long enough to listen to his parents' nagging to send them out. (Sigh. But if you knew this particular nephew, you'd know he's a good kid at heart, but is going through his rebellious phase.) The thing that's killing me, however, is that only one of these kids has actually addressed his announcement. The other two have their mothers' handwriting on the envelopes. They're the ones who have, undoubtedly, ordered the announcements, have put the various pieces of the puzzle into the envelopes, addressed them, and mailed them off---not the children who are graduating, and who, it must be said, are soliciting graduation presents/cash donations with said announcements. I know the kids are all busy, but that's no excuse. It's their event; their achievement;their announcement. And I am proud of them and their achievements, and want to reward them, even if I'm limited by budget constraints to doing it in a smallish-way, but, damnit, it just seems like laziness in the extreme that they would foist this job on their parents. And that is something I won't reward, particularly when I know how hard my sibs work to get their kids through school, and, in one instance, how much they pay to put one daughter through my old high school, where tuition, it must be said, ain't on the cheaper side of things.

So, the random question of the day is this: do I send the kids the cash I would normally send them, or do I send it to their mothers, to go out and buy themselves a round of drinks, because they did the hard work of sending out the announcements?

After all, if the kids can't be bothered to send out the stupid things, how do I know they actually should be congratulated for graduating? While I know their parents didn't do their coursework for them, this act kind of screams that they did. Perhaps I'm congratulating the wrong people?

I'm not even going to go into the fact that I KNOW several of them won't bother sending out a 'thank you' note. That's another story entirely.

Posted by Kathy at May 10, 2008 10:06 AM | TrackBack