Well, Here We Go Again

As I mentioned, I've been having some medical problems. Again. Sigh. When will this long national nightmare be over with? I haven't the foggiest, but hopefully it will be soon. As in, it might end tomorrow.

Because, my devoted Cake Eater readers, I'm going back into the hospital. And not to volunteer, either.

The deal is this: the lymphocele is causing more pain. I called in about it last week, and Dr. Academic's office called back on Friday, and instead of moving the CT scan up, like I thought was going to happen, instead they recommended that I go through the procedure where they drain the lymphocele and then fill it with alcohol to create more scar tissue, so it didn't fill back up again. Dr. Academic's main nurse is finally back from maternity leave, and it's a good thing too, because she was able to explain the procedure well enough to get me to sign on. See, I wasn't crazy about going from having a tennis ball-sized, fluid-filled sac in my pelvis to having a tennis ball-sized, scar tissue-filled sac in my pelvis. I mean, what's the point? I explained this to her, and she said, "Oh, no, that's not entirely correct. Yes, the alcohol will create scar tissue that will keep the lymphocele from filling up again, but it will also shrink it down to almost nothing." "Really?" I asked, somewhat confused. "Dr. Academic didn't mention that at all." "Well," said she of the knowledge, with a light laugh, "That doesn't surprise me." {insert rolling of eyes and a massively painful slap to the head here} I should have known he would, in his general state of rushing around like a chicken with its head cut off, forget to tell me something essential. I told her I needed to chat with the husband, and she said she'd write up the order for the procedure, and if I decided to go ahead with it, I was to call the scheduler and they'd set it up for me.

After im'ing back and forth with the husband about it for about a half-hour, we decided to go through with it, and I put a call in to Dr. Academic's scheduler to get the ball rolling. After about four phone calls with the scheduler, I am tentatively scheduled to have the procedure tomorrow.

The reason it's "tentatively" scheduled is because I've been on ibuprofen therapy since November for the neuropathies, as well as Vitamin E. I've been taking 600mg of Advil, three times a day, and one Vitamin E capsule per day, and since both are blood thinners, they generally have a five day wait rule in place, as it takes that long to get the crap out of your system so that your blood will clot normally. This would have put the procedure on Wednesday, but, alas, the hospital did not have any open slots on Wednesday, and as Dr. Academic told the scheduler that Thursday would be too long to wait, they pencilled me in for Tuesday. I now am waiting for the hospital to call me back, to confirm that the radiologist who will be performing the procedure, has signed-off.

Fortunately for me, the procedure is outpatient. Phew. That was another concern of mine, but, fortunately, Dr. Academic was wrong when he told me that I'd probably have to stay overnight after the procedure. (See, it really is a GOOD thing that the main nurse is back, because she ALWAYS has more---and better---information. Bless her.) Neither will I have to go to the different hospital, but can have it done at the one I was at last year. The procedure, I believe, is called "alcohol scleropathy," but basically what will happen is that it's a CT guided procedure, and when the radiologist gets the lymphocele on the screen, he/she/it will inject a big honkin' needle into it to drain it. Then they'll insert the alcohol, and will shift my inert body around to make sure the booze hits all the high points within it. Fortunately, I shall be, blessedly, out of it for this part. When that's over and done with, they'll keep me for a few hours for observation, and barring any goofs or complications, I should be able to go home. If you're curious about this procedure, go here and then scroll down to the portion on lymphoceles and you'll be able to see (yes, kids, there are pictures!) what will happen to me. Fortunately, while I will be out, I won't be knocked out via general anesthesia, which is good because I didn't react so well to that last time round. Neither do I have to clear out the intestines with Colon Blow (aka magnesium citrate, which is not the nicest of laxatives), but rather have to simply refrain from eating or drinking for four hours beforehand.

Surprisingly, I'm not all that nervous. I suspect that might change, though, as the time draws closer. I came to the conclusion last night, as I was trying to fall asleep, that I just really needed this one to go right---or at least for it to go precisely how they told me it would. God willing, it will, but let's face it, kids, if something was bound and determined to go wrong, it will go wrong with moi. I wasn't supposed to have ovarian cancer, and I did and I lost everything that day. I was supposed to breeze through chemo, because I was young and healthy, but I didn't. This is supposed to be no big deal in the scheme of things, but, like I said, if something's bound to go wrong, it would be just my luck for it to follow through. {Insert long windy sigh here} It would seem that millions of people around the world, enter hospitals and medical clinics every day of the damn week and get out relatively unscathed. I haven't been one of their number, and I wish it were otherwise. Tomorrow will be another test to see if I can join them in their normality.

Let's hope this is uneventful, because if I wind up back in the hospital, in one of those HIDEOUS gowns, for an extended stay, someone's head is going to be roasted on a spit and will, eventually, wind up on a platter, garnished with vegetables and greens, and a Granny Smith apple jauntily placed between their upper and lower mandibles.

UPDATE: We're on for tomorrow.

Posted by Kathy at March 10, 2008 09:50 AM | TrackBack