November 18, 2005

Never Underestimate the Power of the Firth

Just in case I haven't beaten the Which-Darcy-Is-the Best horse enough, I've been meaning to point you to this bit from Mil Millington's very funny, but sadly no longer updated Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About page. To explain, Mil has a girlfriend, Margaret, and they fight quite a bit. About odd stuff. Just go and read the page to get a feeling for their relationship.

Without further ado...

Did you see that re-showing of Pride and Prejudice that was on TV the other week? No, of course you didn't; you're all Americans. What the hell am I thinking? Right, so, there's this old, but very good, adaptation of Pride and Prejudice that the BBC did ages ago and, here in Britain, they recently repeated it. Though, perhaps you have all seen it anyway, eh? Because, if anything manages to lure you briefly away from a reading a good book, then that thing is sure to be PBS, isn't it? Oh, mercy - my poor ribs.

Anyway, I was watching it with Margret, and this is the situation: she is reclining on the sofa, on the floor by her side is a cup of tea which I have made for her and brought in, she's resting her legs by placing them across me, and I am by turns gently stroking them and massaging her feet. On the TV, Colin Firth -- playing Mr Darcy -- glances up slightly in response to something Elizabeth Bennet has said. Margret pouts mournfully and says to me, 'Why can't you be romantic like that?'

Let me go over the salient points of that again.


* Tea.
* Reclining Assistance.
* Legs - Support of.
* Legs - Stroking of.
* Feet - Sensual Palpation.

Colin Sodding Firth:

* Glances up slightly.

What about that, then, eh? How much earth moving machinery would it take to level that bleeding playing field, do we think?

Tons, Mil.

Sorry. But life's just not fair, is it?


Posted by Kathy at November 18, 2005 03:00 PM | TrackBack

Channeling Mrs Wormwood as I do, I can identify with Mil's plight. Life really is NOT fair! (At least not to my poor sweet wife.)

Posted by: Bob at November 18, 2005 04:35 PM

You know, between Collin Sodding Firth, Matthew Boom Boom McConaughey (nice, easy spelling, that), and - oh! Let's See! - The Edge, Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery, LL Cool J, Henry Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac Kissinger, etc., and so forth, it's a wonder that I take all the grief I do over the very simple, tasteful 2005 Calendar that the Montecristo Cigar people sent me.

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at November 18, 2005 10:22 PM

Oh so busted, am I.

But there is NO WAY IN HELL that calendar could be considered tasteful. It's just not.

Posted by: Kathy at November 18, 2005 11:58 PM

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. Nice eyes.

Posted by: Sadie at November 19, 2005 02:14 AM

Nice post. You were behaving well; it's not your fault that Mr. Darcy captures hearts of women everywhere.

Posted by: givengrace at November 19, 2005 01:51 PM

Speaking of CF, have you seen the ads for his new movie with Emma Thompson? "Nanny McPhee" I think it's called.

Posted by: Ith at November 19, 2005 05:45 PM

I saw the trailer. Emma's all warty! Aieeee!

Posted by: Kathy at November 19, 2005 10:20 PM

What can I say? That smirk is deliriously sexy. We , wives , cannot be expected to overlook such charms , can we?In the end, it is our husband who are to benefit from it, are they not? So , thank you Mr Firth. And keep smiling!

Posted by: Eli at July 16, 2006 07:20 AM
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