What Is Sexy?

And that, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, is the second time I've used that title for a Divas post. (You can find the first one here if you're interested in a Golden Oldie.) But it's an appropriate title and since I'm not feeling entirely too clever at the moment I decided to be lazy and use it. Sue me. Ahem. Anyway, the topic the Demystifiying Divas this week is {insert drumstickroll here}What constitutes sexy in a member of the opposite sex.

Oh, holy hell.

Well. since "sexy" has come to mean and encompass so many things over the years, I thought I'd get back to basics and go to the dictionary and see precisely what we're talking about here.

Ahem.

Courtesy of the Oxford Desk Dictionary and Thesaurus we have this definition...

Sexy: /seksee/ adj. (sexier, sexiest) 1.sexually attractive or stimulating. 2. sexually aroused

Ok, so basically we find out that I was wrong to go looking for an older, less relevant definition. Sexy is still about what gets you to think about getting your rocks off.

Now this, as you, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, have undoubtedly figured out is a tricky proposition. Because there is the sexy that zeroes in exclusively on your hormones, and there is sexy that brings your brain---and by way of the way your body works, your hormones---into it. These need not be mutually exclusive, but sometimes they just are. Because sometimes you just don't want to bring your brain into it.

Ahem.

Anyway, you people are probably wondering when I'm going to get around to letting you know what you, if you're a man, can do to attract me in the non-brainy sort of way. Of course we're talking hypothetically here, because the husband wouldn't enjoy that. But...if we're just speaking for the sake of hypotheticals, and I were to ruminate on the physical variant of sexy---the one that gets the hormones to humming---without getting too specific, I would have to refer you to an experience I had on 1-35 in K.C. during the summer of 1994. You'd be a beautiful man, probably around 6'4", ripped, but not overly beefy, in a pair of basketball shorts---and nothing else---driving a Jeep Wrangler through eighty-five m.p.h. traffic. You'd also be very sweaty. A basketball would be sitting in the passenger seat of the jeep, the seatbelt lovingly holding it in place and saving the windshields of other cars from its wrath. Did I mention that this jeep only had a bikini top on it? I didn't? Well, it did. Did I also mention you would be cruising through traffic, like you were in search of a cold breeze and that jeep was going to find it for you? I didn't? Well, you did. It was, hypothetically speaking, one of those moments where I, quite literally, STOPPED BREATHING. And then the hormones started throbbing, like someone had hooked me up to a subwoofer.

Oh, and hypothetically speaking, I can still remember how good your abs looked. It was like you were cast, rather than born.

{Insert hypothetical fanning of self here}

Anyway I should probably let you know that if you were, indeed, hypothetical basketball playing dude, I would be pretty surprised if you could walk, talk and chew gum at the same time. My standards for you would not be very high. No sirreee. You'd have to know how to do one thing very well.

And that's about it. Anything else would be gravy.

Now we move on to the brain aspect of sexy, because, really and truly there is nothing quite so sexy, in my humble opinion, than a man with a big brain. While I will be honest and say I cannot handle an Einstein, I do appreciate men who have large I.Q's---so long as they don't turn the logic sword on me, the girl who has very little of it. I appreciate the man who can use that knowledge for the good of themselves and other people. I also appreciate a man who can make me laugh. Wit is very sexy---and anyone who says differently has no idea what they're talking about. I should also note that holding a great deal of common sense is sexy as well.

No, for my money, while it's all very well and good to stare at basketball players, those abs aren't going to keep a girl interested for very long. I shall also add that if one has a really great brain that will get the hormones to pumping just as effectively as a half-naked, sweaty basketball player in a Jeep Wrangler would.

Anyhoo, now that I've thoroughly humiliated myself, scoot along and see what the other daring and darling divas find sexy. Then you can pop over to Sheila's place because I'm sure she's got something worthwhile to add to the mix. The Men's Club is, of course, up to bat this week as well. Stiggy, Phin, The Foreign Minister and Jamesyboy have, of course, thrown their two cents in, as has Nugget.

Posted by Kathy at November 10, 2005 10:12 AM | TrackBack