Come Here Fido!/Get The Hell Away Fido!

Ah, pets. People do love their pets, don't they? Not like I'd know firsthand as I've never had any pets. No cats. No dogs. No gerbils. No hamsters. No nothing. I was never responsible in my youth for some furry creature. I never dated anyone who had any pets, either. So, you might understand why I'm having a hard time coming up with stuff for the Demystifying Divas and Marvy Men's Club topic of the day, which is, ahem, what do the pets of potential partners tell you about him or her? And how do pets affect the relationship?

See, I'm at a complete and utter loss, so I shall make shit up. Work for you? Ok, good. It's not like you mind, right? Because if you're a devoted Cake Eater reader you're obviously fond of bullshit, so this isn't really a big leap.

Have you seen those commercials for some allergy medication, where a woman is narrating about her woes with allergies? Then, miraculously, once she starts taking this medication her woes are over with. The entire background starts out full of people and things, these people and things disappear (obviously because this woman has allergies) and then once the woman starts taking the medication, all those things that disappeared reappear, replete with a neato popping sound effect. One of the people who disappears is a "boyfriend with cats." Are we all on the same page here? We are. FABULOUS!

What I don't understand is why this dude reappears.

There's two problems here: the dude still has the cats, which apparently affects the very essential ability of the young woman he's dating to take in the air she needs to breathe, and why on earth would anyone subject themselves to heavy duty allergy medication just to get their boyfriend (and his cats) back? The dude apparently wants her, but still wants his cats too. That sounds pretty selfish to me.

Cat allergies are a pretty big deal, of you didn't know. There are varying degrees of sensitivity, but as I'm married to a man who can walk into a place and tell if there's been a cat in the domicile sometime in the preceding five years, I'm just going to assume everyone's like him. (Work with me here, people.) If I had had a cat when I started dating the husband, he never would have become the boyfriend without me getting rid of the cat. And it would have been selfish of me to keep the damn cat when things started getting serious. I can understand not wanting to jettison a much-loved pet after the first date, but come on. This chick in the commercial was obviously beyond the first date. Yet, she apparently loved this selfish cat owner enough to go on daily allergy medication which probably came with the requisite warning advising against heavy machinery while drugged up. How dumb was she, too, while we're at it? This dude is apparently insensitive to the fact she needs to breathe, yet he refuses to get rid of the one thing that causes his girlfriend agony: his cat. And she goes along with it. Duh.

I think that tells you rather a lot regarding this one cat owner and the girls he dates. He apparently likes them willing to do his bidding, to put his priorities and needs first, even if it's not the best option for their health.

Why, I'll even bet he's asked her to clean out the litter box!

The NERVE of some people!

I suppose the lesson of all this is that if the object of your affection has more consideration for the needs of their pets, that means they think their (and we're talking about the pet owner here) needs are more important than that of their signifcant other. Which means they're selfish and you should probably dump them. It's just not going to work.

Ok, so now that I've bloviated authoritatively on a subject which I know nothing about, go and read what the other daring demystifying divas---Sadie, Chrissy, and Silk---have to say. Ruth at Chaos Theory was supposed to be our guest diva today, but since she's occupied with something else, she has, in one fell swoop, shifted the Diva/Men's Club operational balance by---gasp---asking a man to chime in. It's supposed to be five girls to four guys, hence ensuring we always win, but alas this week the boys have a chance at gender equity. If you're in favor of that sort of thing, Men's Libertation, that is, go and visit Tincanman to see what his take on the topic is. And while you're at it, go and visit The Wiz, Phin, Stiggy and the Naked Villains for even more testosterone blogging.

Posted by Kathy at July 28, 2005 07:51 PM | TrackBack