Random Thoughts for June 3, 2005

Here's what's going through my brain currently:

• Damn and blast the Edina Art Fair. If you happen to live in the Cities and are planning on dropping by this weekend, might I offer a few suggestions for how to behave?

  1. Parking. Don't park in my extra spot. Sure it's non occupado right now, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you park there. I will call the towing company, because they don't charge me a damn thing to tow your car away. They will, however, charge you an arm and a leg for their services. Have fun climbing out of that bit o' bankruptcy. Neither should you block the alleyway, because I don't want to have to listen to my neighbors bitch and moan about it.

  2. If someone's crossing the street you, the average car driver who possesses very little patience, perhaps, should allow them to do just that. Particularly if they're in a crosswalk with the little "walk" sign in their favor. Particularly if there's a cop right there, directing traffic. If you are not part of the solution, well, you are definitely, this time around, being part of the problem. Get a clue. Pedestrians have the right of way, not you. And pedestrians who live here all the freakin' time DEFINITELY have the right of way.

  3. My lawn is not your garbage can. It's amazing, in this People's Republic of Minnesota, where everyone is supposed to be so societally advanced, how people forget about littering.

  4. Don't be an idiot and ask me how to get to the art fair when you can see the white tents from my house. Open your eyes and OBSERVE, m@#erf@#$er!

  5. Don't hog the line at Walgreens, asking the clerk stupid questions that patently ignore the rules of capitalism like "Why don't you have free water for the art fair patrons?" It's not called the EDINA Art Fair for nothing, you doof. We're Cake Eaters. Figure it out. Duh. They have the stupid thing to drive traffic into the neighborhood. They're not going to give a damn thing away for free. Figure it out you little, badly aging, tyed-dyed, fanny-pack-wearing, I LOVED the sixties, sad excuse for a hippy love child!

  6. And if you regularly use my neigborhood as a traffic shortcut, JUST DON'T DO IT THIS WEEKEND. Please. The traffic is insane enough without you throwing yourselves into the mix. STAY THE HELL AWAY! Hwy. 100 really isn't all that bad. I swear!

  And that's just what's bugging me today. There's two more days to go. YAY!

• We have a new radio station in town. 104.1 is now a cool station, instead of being an all-eighties, all-PatBenatar/Loverboy fest. I listened to it today while I was running and I'm in love. How can you not love a station that plays Abba's Waterloo right next to U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday? Good, eclectic stuff.
• I smell and I need to shower. And no, Phin, you can't wash my back for me. Neither will there be any puddin' wrestling.
• I think we're going to have breakfast for supper. Just haven't made my mind up yet.
• Thank God the grocery store is open 24 hours, so I can avoid you art fair nutjobs.

And that's it. I hope you enjoyed this quickie tour through my brain. Now...get the hell out.