I've Been Lacking In The Meme Department Lately...

...so here's one I swiped from Random Pensees.

And I'm not typing any long, involved essays that none of you will bother to read anyway until my hand is healed up. When that time arrives, I'll go for it, and we can get on with business as usual, me writing, you people ignoring. Until then, however, you'll have to deal with stuff I can post without my hand hurting.

If you're interested, you know where to find my lack of self-control.

1. My uncle once: had a "conversation" with a police officer outside of Lafayette, Louisiana. He was going 85 mph in a 65 zone. Did I mention this uncle was over eighty when he had this "conversation." Yep. He got off, too.

2. Never in my life: have I ever had sex outside.

3. When I was five: I was the ultimate poster girl for ADD. Fortunately, Ritalin wasn't around then. But I did have nuns. Draw your own conclusions.

4. High School was: excruciating; horrible; filled with seriously mean and selfish people; awful. Do I need to go on or are you getting the gist?

5. I will never forget: I have a long memory. I'm not about to forget many things, the list of which is too long to be poured out here.

6. I once met: Joe Fiennes. He flagged a bartender for me in a pub in Notting Hill. Cute man with a nice smile and a really lovely laugh and---pathetic woman that I am---all I wanted to know was where his brother was. Thank God I couldn't get the gumption to ask.

7. There's this girl I know who: Oh, Christ. I know too many girls to knock it down.

8. Once, at a bar: I drank the place out of half-and-half with a White Russian habit I used to have way back when.

9. By noon, I'm usually: Washed, well-informed, fed and perhaps exercised, but not much else.

10. Last night: I posted some, took a bubble bath, settled down and tried to watch some tee vee but there wasn't anything decent on, so I opted for a book instead.

11. If I only had: a million dollars, the husband could buy me a Picasso. Or a Garfunkel. But not a real green coat 'cause that's cruel.

12. Next time I go to church: will be for the same ol' same ol' worshipping God business on Sunday.

13. Terry Schiavo: Should be allowed to rest in peace and should not be used in any way, shape or form for the pro-life movement. Leave her be. She's been used enough.

14. What worries me most: is losing my husband.

15. When I turn my head left, I see: the office door, part of the hallway, the shelves in the dining room that hold pictures and other assorted bric-a-brac. I also see the husband's arrowheads peeking out from behind the office door, part of his white board, and my The English Patient movie poster that is seriously faded.

16. When I turn my head right, I see: the window. In the darkness I can barely see the trees outside. I can also see into my neighbor's dining room across the way. The lights are finally lit over there because they're back from Arizona. Note to self: no more walking around with an undone bathrobe until they leave in October!

17. You know I'm lying when: like I'm freakin' going to tell. Pfft.

18. What I miss most about the eighties: preppydom. Easy dressing. That and you could wear plaid shorts and get away with it.

19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I'd be: either Beatrice from Much Ado about Nothing or Katherine from Taming of the Shrew. If I be waspish, best beware my sting.

20. By this time next year: Oh, gracious. Who the hell knows?

21. A better name for me would be: Hadn't thought about it, hence I don't know.

22. I have a hard time understanding: any language other than English.

23. If I ever go back to school, I'll: get my masters and my PhD in international relations. Or if I went to some fancy schmancy European school I'd get a hybrid MPhil in international relations. It just all depends. There was a very cool course at Trinity College in Dublin a few years back about the "Ethics of Peace," relating to The Troubles. I could get a MPhil in that and I wouldn't mind one bit. Fascinating stuff.

24. You know I like you if: I tease you mercilessly. Like I do the llamas. They know I like them. Really they do.

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: Mom, probably. Plus Dad. They came first in my life, seems only natural they'd be the first people I'd thank. I wouldn't be here if they hadn't said, "let's have one more while we're at it."

26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Salk, Bach, Hank Williams Sr., Margaret Thatcher

27. Take my advice, never: opt for the big church wedding when your father is offering you the cash instead. Vegas, baby. Vegas.

28. My ideal breakfast is: I'm with RP on this one. Brunch rules. All except for the Bloody Mary part. Bleech.

29. A song I love, but do not have is: That song they're using on one of the credit card commercials where the singer goes on about "I'm fifteen for a moment....I'm twenty-two for a moment." I love that song. Have no idea who sings it (Sounds suspiciously like Ben Folds, but I don't think it's him) or what the title is.

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: Hmmmm. What to do in Omaha? The Surfside Club for great fried catfish and all the corn fritters, drizzled with honey you can eat. Mmmmm. That's good cooking. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, you can go to M's Pub in the Old Market and have the best escargot known to mankind. Seriously. Even the French don't do it as well as they do.

31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: Irises, character traits, Moore's Law, Carl Lewis.

32. Why won't people: just learn how to live and let live?

33. If you spend the night at my house: Well, unless you're my folks, you'll get the Cake Eater Sofa to sleep on. You will probably be well fed, well watered and you'll sleep well as a result. Because the sofa really is very comfortable.

34. I'd stop my wedding for: Mr. Darcy

35. The world could do without: more religion

36. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: be raped.

37. My favorite blonde is: Can't pick. Too many nieces and nephews got the blonde gene.

38. Paper clips are more useful than: rubber bands

39. If I do anything well, it's: bake? Seriously, I don't know. I think I do everything pretty poorly.

40. And by the way: Neither Stacy nor Cameron is the right chick for House.

Posted by Kathy at May 31, 2005 11:39 PM