The Lexicon of Polyamory Relationships

Oh, good grief.

They believe in free love and multiple relationships, but not casual sex - and enjoy feeling "frubbly".

As a group they practise "polyamory" - the latest social phenomenon to cross the Atlantic to Britain, psychologists heard yesterday.

Polyamorists have relationships that are wide open. Despite having numerous partners at any one time, they are emotionally committed and do not cheat on them.

So, what these folks are doing is outside of the mainstream. They're rejecting the traditional Western monogamy construct as artificial. As such, one psychologist has decided these people (she's one of them, too) need a whole new language.

{...}Polys, as practitioners of polyamory term themselves, now need new words to describe their emotions and actions, Dr Barker said.

Some terms have been coined already. "Ethical slut" is used to define a woman in an open multiple relationship and is an attempt to take the stigma out of "slut". Feeling "frubbly" is described as the opposite to feeling jealous and is used to describe feelings of friendship towards a lover and their other partners, who are called "metamours".

A "wibble" is a jealous feeling but "not a massive sexual threat", Dr Barker said. "We are interested in another language," she told the conference. "The question is, when you are not having a standard relationship, what do you do for words? There are no words for what we do."{...}

{Insert head slamming on desk here}

Ok, bitch. Develop a whole new language to describe the fact that you like a little variety in your love-life. But don't try and tell me that by developing this whole new language you're not trying to rationalize your actions. Because you are. Even if you don't realize it.

Which is pretty pathetic, on the whole, if you ask me.

Hat tip: The Daily Ablution.

Posted by Kathy at April 6, 2005 11:44 AM